I feel numb

Former Member

I just wanted to say thanks to all the people who replied below and thanks for your advice, i'll remember it and try to use it to help make me a better person.

Former Member

Been there - sucks, huh?

The only piece of advice I can really give is just not think about it. You'll get over her, trust me on this one.

Whatever you do - DO NOT GET WITH ANYONE ELSE UNLESS YOU ARE TOTALLY OVER YOUR EX!!!!!
I know, I wasn't, it hurt!

Hang in there! You'll feel better within a week or so

Former Member

Awwwwwww, hang on in there. Don't call her because it really will hurt more, and you won't have a constructive conversation.

I know it's hard, I've been there before, but trust me - you'll pull through OK. You say you don't feel like you've got anyone else, but you must do really, even if you're not so close to them. So call up some friends, spend time in other people's company and try not to mope too much. It's easier to cope with heartache if you're busy doing things, because your mind's distracted.

Good luck next weekend picking up your stuff - just try to be calm about it, and don't hang around too long talking if it's difficult.

One thing I'd like to suggest is that you don't see her too much now until your feelings are more settled. It's all very well to say 'let's just be friends' but I bet you're beginning to realise that that's not going to be as easy as it sounds. One person always wants more than the other and if you want relations to stay amicable, don't rush into 'friendship.' It could lead to fighting and things might turn really sour.

Give it time, that's the only thing which will really help. And lots of hugs!

Former Member

You'll pick yourself up mate. Everyone needs their heart broken at least once in life!

Some people are lucky (:rolleyes: ) and have it done lots of times.

What you need is a way of venting some of that um.... unhappiness and sorrow into something constructive and positive.

No one would blame you if you felt depressed and had lot of self-pity about yourself, you could easily be moody for few months and bottle it up, but It’s best to get it all out of your system now, That’s why I think you need to find some activities to do to keep your mind off this Ex.

Why not go down the gym, build up yourself to look and feel good. Once this ex sees that your no longer hung up on her she'll want you back! AND even if she doesn't want you back, you'll be feeling sooo good about yourself and enjoying all these new people etc to even give a shit.

Everyone knows that if you feel good about yourself you look shit hot to the other sex! And confidence is something you are lacking right now. You need to build it up by being happy (pretend if you have too man!) and meeting new people. Smile here and there will do wonders for you.

That way you'll solve your lack of friends problem too!

But we maybe jumping the gun with all of the above, what you need right now is 3 things: time & space to think, beer to forget who you are, and telly to make you laugh.

Once your grieving period is over, you can look forward to lots of regrets and 'what IF’s'. It’s all part of the process and once you've done it a few times it gets easier and easier.

Always come here if you're having trouble. Other people we'll cheer you up (I’m not very good at it at the moment):)

Former Member

OK, you've been given help on the breaking up bit and I probably can't help any further with that, but I'd just like to say - don't let the friendship go! My ex is my best friend and though it hurt like hell breaking up with him, the fact that I could still see him and speak to him and be with him helped a lot. It's weird at first not being able to kiss or hold hands or anything but... it's a lot better than nothing.

Former Member

Aww, hun. I so remember times I've felt this way and it's just the worst ever.

I used to do all those annoying things, like thinking about them and then wondering if they're thinking about me, then realising they probably aren't and getting completely upset about it, or I'd think back and wish I'd changed certain things or said certain things. But in the end all that stuff does is hurt to think about.

Try to keep busy, it's hard because the person would still be on my mind, and I'd just be out pretending to be happy but gradually it feels less and less like you're pretending. Sometimes you have to make yourself do things, going out even when you just wanna stay in and mope.

My ex used to love telling me about the new girls he'd be getting with when we'd split, which was really nice. So I spent a lot of time away from him, and i think that was better than being around him. Sometimes being near him would give me this false hope or something or just make it harder to forget certain things. With another guy I was with I couldn't stand the idea of being without him, I just didn't want to be around him much less because he'd been so important to me and because I still cared for him so much, so I stayed his friend for a while and that whole situation ended up in a big huge mess and now I hate him.
I think when you make the choice to spend time apart yourself, you start to feel stronger in a way, and at the same time really weak and crap because you want to go back and talk to them and all that stuff, but it can make you feel just that tiny bit better in a way too.

Is there really no one at all you can talk to about this?

But I guess you know it gets better. It's just one of those shitty things that takes so long to fade away.

Sorry for rambling.
Take care, hun. xxx