need help - sex with new girls...

Former Member

Basically im in a rite state lol I can't seem to have sex with someone when I need to use a condom. I no this is gunna sound bare stuipd, but fuck it. im pist off at myself I guess.

There have been two different girls, and im fine the whole time, until I actaully have to put the condom on, then i go soft. im posting cos it happened recently (the 2nd girl) and its driving me crazy. dunno why the fuck it would happen?

Im not a virgin, and ive had a wicked sex life with one of my recent ex, but we rarely used condoms. Im horny all the time lol and have no problem with masturbatoin or nething like that. So basically, theres no problem ever, apart from when its a new girl and using a condom... (with this ex at first we never used them.) grr. really confused. Im one of those people that thinks too deep and thinks too much and its starting to drive me crazy.

Former Member

Re: need help - sex with new girls...

Originally posted by da_mill
Basically im in a rite state lol I can't seem to have sex with someone when I need to use a condom. I no this is gunna sound bare stuipd, but fuck it. im pist off at myself I guess.

There have been two different girls, and im fine the whole time, until I actaully have to put the condom on, then i go soft. im posting cos it happened recently (the 2nd girl) and its driving me crazy. dunno why the fuck it would happen?

Im not a virgin, and ive had a wicked sex life with one of my recent ex, but we rarely used condoms. Im horny all the time lol and have no problem with masturbatoin or nething like that. So basically, theres no problem ever, apart from when its a new girl and using a condom... (with this ex at first we never used them.) grr. really confused. Im one of those people that thinks too deep and thinks too much and its starting to drive me crazy.

my b/f has a similar problem, and ive never faced it before. he goes slightly soft wen he puts on a condom, but it makes things totally unpleasurable for him. as a result, we dont use them, because im on the pill (maybe your new g/f could consider this???)
my advice to you is to discuss things with your new g/f, if you feel comfortable doin so.
whatever you decide to do, dont pressure yourself to perform, that in itself may make you get nervous enough to be 'soft'.
you dont think too much, you just seem like a sensible guy. try not to worry and maybe try a different approach to condoms (e.g. get her to put them on you, and use flavoured ones during oral sex. ive been told guys love the feeling of a girl slowly putting a condom on them )
i hope this helps
xx tina xx

Former Member

maybe it's nerves?

umm..what about STI's? and if you piss a pill or something?

Former Member

or it could be that because u keep thinking about it u stop thinking about the task at hand and lose it that way. get her to put it on make it into a game or something. u big softie.:p

Former Member

Originally posted by DarkSeed
get her to put it on make it into a game or something. u big softie.:p

Like ring toss? That could be fun.

Former Member

Im one of those people that thinks too deep and thinks too much and its starting to drive me crazy

i reckon thats your problem right there...your probably worrying your erection away...im with everyone else on this one; make it less of a big deal, play around with it, get her to slip it on u, whatever....dont worry mate....

Former Member

Believe it or not, this is quite a common problem and you're certainly not alone on this one. Being open and talking to your g/f is the most likely way that the problem will go away - try to extend the foreplay more and don't think of sex as a two-level activity, otherwise you will mentally switch into panic mode when you start thinking about penetrative sex.
The second thing to think about is STIs - if you decide to use a different form of contraception, both you and you girlfriend should get tested so you can have condom-less sex without worrying. If you decide on this option, go to your GP for a test - or call either of the following organisations:

Brook Advisory Centres
Advice, counselling and medical help around contraception, pregnancy, abortion and sexual health.
Telephone: 0800 0185023

Family Planning Association
Information service on family planning and all aspects of sexual health.
Helpline: 0845 3101334

Former Member

I think a big part of it is that you are used to the sensation without condoms and its causing a psychological barrier