Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

i want 2 b a dad

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
is it rong for me wantin 2 b a dad? all my mates keep sayin it is im only 18 but i want it so much.

its just not being a dad i want a famliy i want it all.

tell me wot u think

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, i want to be a mum one day and i cant wait to have someone to love and love me back, but at the moment im 17 and if i bring a child into the world, i will have no house, no money, no job etc
    theres nothing wrong in wanting to be a dad, cos there are some young parents who do brilliant jobs, but for the sake of any kids, shouldnt you be at least have your own life sorted out e.g. financially, going out and having fun, seeing what the world has to offer before you bring a life into the world?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    theres nothing wrong in wanting to be a dad, cos there are some young parents who do brilliant jobs, but for the sake of any kids, shouldnt you be at least have your own life sorted out e.g. financially, going out and having fun, seeing what the world has to offer before you bring a life into the world?

    Amen to that! remember than kids look up to parents and that youthful influence and the way they are treated reflects in them as they get older and those morals they apply in part to their kids and so on...

    Thats why parents who weren't treated well as kids find it so hard when they are parents, because they aren't sure how to act (to a degree... if you follow)

    Also before you have kids you should make sure you've found the right person to have them with, theres nothing more distruptive than breaking up families when kids are involved... <IMG alt="image" SRC="frown.gif" border="0">

    Theres nothing wrong with wanting kids but kids are basically a life-long commitment, and cost a fortune, so enjoy your life while your young, gain experience, see the world and have kids after you've lived a bit... <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    iv been goin throw a lot of shit latley and iv said 2 my self im goin in the navy and if i do and i do have a child then ill b able 2 pay for it and it will giv me hope wen im away (i no that can sound bad but look at it diffrent ways)

    its like iv got this gap in my life and the only thing that can fill it is a child. iv been told id b a real good dad and i no i get on with children really well.

    my ex and i talked about it alot and i always said NO but i dint mean it i woz kinda testin her i dont realy no y but i no that woz a daft thing. my ex still plays a big part of my life.

    iv told her i want her back. the other day i asked her 2 meet me in town and that i had something 2 say 2 her but i bottled it and i said iv got a interview will u come wiv me.

    all i want is a child
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know you think you will make a great dad and I am sure you will, one day.

    You are confusing your needs at present because right now you don't feel successful at anything.

    You are between girlfriends so you still carry a torch for your ex.

    You don't have a clear career path so you are considering joining The Navy.

    You have 'been through a lot of shit lately' and you are feeling depressed.

    As blokes we are brought up to 'have a successful career' and 'find the right girl and settle down'. When there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel and you are short of cash as well it's no wonder that you are looking for something in your life that you can be a success at and 'prove yourself'

    So sombody says you'd make a great dad because you get on with kids and 'bingo' instant cure.

    It's not that simple (well having a child is but that's not the cure).

    Face up to the real problems in your life and deal with them first.

    Having a child is not about what being a father will do for you, it's about what you can do for the child. It's a selfless function that brings rewards when you do the job well.

    Right now you are in no position to do anything for a child.

    So you join The Navy and that will pay for a child. So will income support and they won't be there to bring the child up either.

    There are no short cuts to happiness. Being a father only brings greater pressure to settle in a career and greater pressures in a relationship. If this girl is your ex now, how good would the relationship be with a child that keeps you both up all night and takes all her attention away from you.

    Time to grow up and take a long hard look in that mirror......
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanxs m8

    wot u have said have put a few things in order (if ya get wot i mean) 2moro well 2day im guna have a good think about it and talk 2 a few m8s

    ill let u no the out come

    thanxs
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry if it sounded harsh but sometimes these things need a bit of straight talkin' if you know what I mean.

    No point in beating about the bush trying to put a positive spin on it when there isn't one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok, im gonna sound nosey, but i remember u and jo when u was going out, from reading the site, but what happened, u dont have 2 say any thing, but u used 2 do like love poems posts etc, i take it things didnt work out, but do we get a slight drift of it so we can help u more?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's an excellent ambition to be a dad - I want to be a dad, too. But what sort of dad do you want to be - just 'biological', or do you want to be more than that, with a great relationship with your kids? If you want the second of those, you need to be in a loving committed relationship with your children's mum.

    There are loads of 'biological' dads out there, with no meaningful relationships with either their children or the mother. Just sad statistics, really.

    There's no short cuts - if you want to be a great dad, first you need a great relationship with a great lady !
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i no i would b a g8 dad.

    and just coz im goin in the navy that dunt mean i wont b ther coz i would.

    and as for findin a g8 lover and relationship i had them both and lost them but im not guna do that again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why cant i find a bloke like you!? lol

    ok so im only 15 but kinda is a lovely thort but not till im 18 cos well i gotta get college out of the 1st (im training 2 b a nurse well i will b after my gcse's!)

    most blokes i know even the ones older than me dont want a kid cos of the financial side ect, but u well ur different, its good 2 know someone feels the same bout kids as i do!

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by blonde_batman:
    <STRONG>why cant i find a bloke like you!? lol

    ok so im only 15 but kinda is a lovely thort but not till im 18 cos well i gotta get college out of the 1st (im training 2 b a nurse well i will b after my gcse's!)

    most blokes i know even the ones older than me dont want a kid cos of the financial side ect, but u well ur different, its good 2 know someone feels the same bout kids as i do!

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0"></STRONG>

    u can have me if ya want u can have my baby <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i mite just hacve to take u up on that offer <IMG alt="image" SRC="wink.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="tongue.gif" border="0"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jamie im sorry to say this but what u said just then sums u up, "u can have my baby if u want" yeah yeah i know u were only joking but that aint a joke.

    x_rated_rebel_girl things between me and jamie didnt work out because we werent gettin along any more and jamie didnt talk bout his feelings he bottled things up. as well as alot of other probs we went thru
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jo i dint say u can have my baby i said u can have me.

    i no i am been daft about wantin a baby i mean who will have one wiv me? no1 wants me anyway
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's important to remember that children should be considered a priviledge and not a right! Yet the child has the RIGHT to be born into a safe, secure, stable, loving and providing home. In an ideal world, wait until you can offer all these things before deciding to have a baby - even if it has to take you a number of years. You owe it to what is your first descendant to get them off to the best start possible ... <IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GET A LIFE! There's people out there who cannot have kids and would die for one, and theres you making it sound like a PET,

    sort yourself out, find the girl you really love, sort your job out, grow up and then but only then think about kids.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i kinda agree. jamie stop feeling sorry 4 urself bout getting a girlfriend, there are people out there who will want u just stop looking. and if u read it again u DID say u can have my baby
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by J.ME:
    <STRONG>is it rong for me wantin 2 b a dad? all my mates keep sayin it is im only 18 but i want it so much.

    its just not being a dad i want a famliy i want it all.

    tell me wot u think</STRONG>

    I think that you need to spend a lot of time around an infant, and get into a steady relationship. No rushing into stuff, etc. Remember it's a years worth of sleepless nights, two of dirty nappies. Its milky vomit, and lots of crying, and screaming. This is not something to rush into. I reccommend you realise what your life is going to change to before bringing a new life into the world.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0">
Sign In or Register to comment.