how can i tell mum and dad that i don't want them to talk to me?

Former Member · February 2001

there hurting u, i am in a similar sitation now, bit it has calmed down abit now. my mum had an affair, i caught her in the act, and kept it to myself, thats why i dont really like my mum now, my dad is trying hos best to do everything right and she just complains. u have to say that theuy are upsetting u, they love u and if u tell them this they will have to make up there mind. its not fair on u, u shoulod just say that its not ur problem, if u hurt there feelings, there not going to have a go at u, they will realise that they are being selfish. u have to be blunt sometimes to get action. its an unfortunate situation, but u have to keep on speaking terms with them, just everytime they bring it up, just walk away and say i dont want to know, thats what i did, and it worked eventually.

Former Member · February 2001

Hi Rachael

Sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time at home at the moment. We have some information on TheSite that might be useful to you:
http://www.thesite.org/relationships/divorce/ http://www.thesite.org/relationships/families/parents_q_and_a_fighting_parents.html

all the best
Karla

Former Member · February 2001

Originally posted by chrishot4u:
just everytime they bring it up, just walk away and say i dont want to know, thats what i did, and it worked eventually.

I reckon this is probably the best course of action. Or... explain to them that you are getting hurt by being stuck in the middle and wud much prefer it if they just left you out of it. However, they mite feel that as their daughter you shud b giving them emotional support. If this happens, i think u shud explain to them that it is just as hard 4u as it is for them, and there are lots of councellors out there who are willing to listen to them.

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.

Former Member · February 2001

i think just explain to each of them that whatever problems they have with eachother you're daughter of both of them so its not fair to put you in the middle. try not to get angry and yell coz this will probably just make things worse.
good luck. let us know how it all goes.
whizzy xxx

i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made us to match the men.

Former Member · February 2001

Seems everyone has already given the advice I would give, which is the advice everyone (inc me) always gives which is talk to them about how you feel (see, got there eventually! lol).

Going back to personal experience, I guess I just took it from both of them for some of the time. i listened to mum give her reasons for leaving and I listened to dad moan on and on about what ur folks are on about: the future, the money etc. Maybe it was different cos I resent my mum's decision to leave, whereas you can see both sides of the story.

But in the end, when it get's too much, I just tune out and act disinterested. To walk away is rude, cos it is fairly serious stuff (sometimes anyway). if they don't take the tuning-out hint, then just say "sorry, i don't want anything to do with this. you and dad created this problem, don't expect me to help sort it out. call me when you make a decision that will affect me."

and they do, mostly now. hope this helps as well.

I don't live to work, I work to live and I live at the weekends. I'm the last of the big time drinkers.

how can i tell mum and dad that i don't want them to talk to me?

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