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FAO badabing's brain. Damn you.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
what are you going to do you silly moose???

My dad just called me, he told me it was all a big secret, and I wasnt to say anything (but hey - you guys arent going to tell), but my cousin is pregnant. She is 18 and lives in Evesham. Her parents are divorced and there's 5 kids in the family. From an outsider's point of view you'd call her pretty common, but she's a lovely kind, caring, pretty young lady. But the area she has been born into, and the society she lives and has always lived amongst, means that she herself has fallen into the often difficult to avoid trap of townyism.

She's not too bad, but there's no way for her to get out of that society, its her home,a nd she plans to stay there - so she needs to fit in (apparently). Anyway, she finished school with not many GCSE's and started to do a course in drama, but dropped out. Then she went to work in a hairdressers but left to work in a coffee shop. As far as Im aware thats what she is still doing. She doesnt drive, she doesnt go to college, she lives at her mums.

After finishing with her heroin addicted ex-boyfriend at 17, who was forcing her to take money to him in prison, she started going out with this lad who is I think about 19/20. They've been together for a few months, and she fell pregnant just 2 weeks after they started dating, but subsequently lost the baby. That was a few months ago.

NOW she wasnt too happy in the relationship last month, going round to her dad's house (my dad's brother) every night crying because she's scared he's going to hit her when he loses his temper.

And she has just (today) gone to her dads house and told him that she is pregnant, again. Her dad has caled up my dad to ask him what to do (nobody else knows, not even her mum yet).

The point is, the first time was a mistake, so we were told. I dont think this time is a mistake. The guy was ok about it the first time, and now he is really pissed off and doesnt want the baby. Shes better off without him and I just want to get over there and tell her all the things that I've gone through recently (she doesnt know about the termination).

I think she wants this baby. If she didnt, I know her - and she wouldnt have put herself through all this again. I dont think the guy knows she wanted this baby, I think she probably stopped taking her pill secretly or something.

The thing is, she has nothing in her life right now, no career path, no education, no aspirations. She doesnt want anything, but I believe she wants this baby. I think she sees it as an escape - something for her to do, something for her to focus her time and love on, because right now she has nothing else. I know it sounds far from ideal, but I know her, and Im 90% sure she's gona off and planned this herself.

Personally, I think anyone in a teenage pregnancy situation should go off and do what they want, and what is right for them at the time, but I dont want her making a mistake, because when you find out you're pregnant, it can be very difficult to keep that determined, positive, parenting head on you when everyone around you is telling you all the negativities and forgetting to point out the positives of being a parent.

I plan to go and see her next week and try and talk to her, although she doesnt know I know, Im sure she's going to tell my anyway. I have written to her today.

I just want to go and hug her, because personally I think the right thing for her to do is to have that baby, its what she wants, and I know how traumatic and destroying it is to have someone take that away from you, especially when its planned and longed for so much.

I wanted to rant. Now I have finished. Thank you.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hugs*

    i have nothing constructive to say :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think she's really lucky to have you to talk about all this with, and whatever she does, I hope things work out :)

    *Hugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    neither do i!!


    not much you (as in any member of the human race) can do really.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by KoolCat
    I think she's really lucky to have you to talk about all this with, and whatever she does, I hope things work out :)

    *Hugs*

    my post above was meant for under blackouts.

    bless you :) thanks. im sure if she knew she'd be greatful for the support!
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