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i need to confess b4 i go crazy!!!!!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i need to confess summat and since i dont feel ive got any mates i can trust (my best mate and bruv work with my b/f and the rest aint really people u can trust with secrets) i thought id spill to u lot.

here goes.....last nite i got invited swimmin at a really gorgeous fellas house (who just happens to be an ex). i told my b/f i was goin round a mates but the inevitable happened and i ended up sleepin with my ex and now i feel so confused, guilty and mad at myself for letting it happen.

i dont know why i did it i guess i just felt a bit fed up with my relationship and ive always liked attention from other guys, makes me feel like im still sexy and people still fancy me.

i feel so guilty though i know my boyfriend luvs me to bits i just need space sometimes if things get to heavy i feel trapped and run away and i just happened to run into the arms of my ex not good i no.

i know my ex is no good for me but ive still care for him along with the fact that i fancy this ass of him. my b/f treats me like a princess but i dont fancy him as much as my ex, arghhhhhh i feel sooooo confused why did i let this happen.

im spose to feel better for gettin this out but i dont, ive never cheated on anyone before in my life so why am i doin it now?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cheers bunnykins thats a good bit of advice i think i do need to talk to him i dont think ill tell him what happened coz i dont wanna lose him he said it would kill him if i cheated on him, i no honesty is the best policy and all that but i dont plan on it happenin again so im gonna keep it to myself.
    but we need to have a good chat and sort things out.
    cheers again for your help i know what i gotta do now :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by sar's the lady
    i dont think ill tell him what happened coz i dont wanna lose him he said it would kill him if i cheated on him, i no honesty is the best policy and all that but i dont plan on it happenin again so im gonna keep it to myself

    I think you should tell him. You can't expect to have a decent relationship if one of you is shagging about behind the othes back and keeping secrets like that. Think how you'd feel if it was the other way round. You should tell him and let him make his own mind up whether he still wants to be with you or not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't think you should tell him because if you honestly want to stay with him and it was just a one-off then it would just mess up the relatonship. its hypocritical because if i was being cheated on i'd want to know but i've cheated in the past and then realised the mistake ive made and not done it again.

    but definitly talk to him because cheating only shows underlying problems
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont wanna tell him because ive learnt my lesson i know for definate im not gonna do it again.
    if i tell him its gonna make things go tits up and id no i bought it on myself.
    it'll bring up the whole trust issues he'll get worried about where im goin what im doin who im seein, and he can trust me now i know im not gonna do it again for definate its made me feel so bad and i dont want him to feel like this.
    i think the way forward is to definatley have a chat about me feeling trapped, and think about not seein each other quite as much i need some me time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by sar's the lady

    it'll bring up the whole trust issues he'll get worried about where im goin what im doin who im seein

    He bloody should be worried :rolleyes:

    Sorry but from being on the recieving end of this I would rather have known than been made a twat of, and I'm sure most people would feel the same.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by sar's the lady
    if i tell him its gonna make things go tits up and id no i bought it on myself.

    So what are you going to do when someone else tells him? what if you are out with him and you bump into an ex? How do you know your ex wont tell Joe Bloggs who in turn will tell your boyfriend?
    Come clean and sort it, thats my view anyway :)

    i know my ex is no good for me but ive still care for him along with the fact that i fancy this ass of him. my b/f treats me like a princess but i dont fancy him as much as my ex, arghhhhhh i feel sooooo confused why did i let this happen.

    This bit of your post concerns me, you dont fancy your boyfriend as much as your ex, that tells me theres something wrong somewhere :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Faith
    He bloody should be worried :rolleyes:

    Sorry but from being on the recieving end of this I would rather have known than been made a twat of, and I'm sure most people would feel the same.

    why should he be worried, ive admitted to myself i made a mistake ive never cheated on anyone before in my whole life so it aint exactley like im ive been fuckin around with everyone ive fancied.
    ive been on the recievin end aswell u no and i no it aint nice but the lads i was with were screwin around with everyone they set their eyes on i did it once and regretted it straight away.
    im not makin a twat of him, im tryin to protect him, so i made a mistake im sure you have to.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And this thread shows why anybody and everybody should be paranoid about a b/f or g/f who has her ex hanging around on the scene, or keeps in touch with their ex'es. An ex of mine used to see her ex a lot which used to piss me right off. She used to argue that he was merely a friend now, and that nothing would ever happen, and that she should be able to have her own friends (even if that includes ex'es). :mad: I don't honestly think, despite my objections, that she thought there was anything she was doing wrong? :eek2: I never completely trusted her with him, despite her assurances that nothing would happen, and that he was apparently crap in bed, etc (the being crap in bed thing has never stopped it happening with other people I know).
    I've seen it happen sooo often when ex'es are on the scene, and the inevitable happens that they sleep with each other, often cheating on their current bf or gf. I've seen it happen to so many friends.

    Anyway sar's. Never, ever, see your ex'es ever again, especially that one, keep it to yourself, and live with the guilt. It may not be the honest thing to do, but if you tell him your relationship will most likely end right there and then. Live with it, learn from it (though you damn well should've learnt how shit it feels to be cheated on from your experiences of being cheated on) :mad: and never do it again. If you can't resist screwing around, then end the relationship with your boyfriend now.
    Did that sound a bit angry? Well, I've been cheated on several times in the past, and it just makes me sooooo mad! :mad:

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    I've seen it happen sooo often when ex'es are on the scene, and the inevitable happens that they sleep with each other, often cheating on their current bf or gf. I've seen it happen to so many friends.

    Anyway sar's. Never, ever, see your ex'es ever again, especially that one, keep it to yourself, and live with the guilt. It may not be the honest thing to do, but if you tell him your relationship will most likely end right there and then. Live with it, learn from it (though you damn well should've learnt how shit it feels to be cheated on from your experiences of being cheated on) :mad: and never do it again. If you can't resist screwing around, then end the relationship with your boyfriend now.
    Did that sound a bit angry? Well, I've been cheated on several times in the past, and it just makes me sooooo mad! :mad:

    Mr_Wobble ;)

    no its ok mr wobble ur just expressin ur opinion. im definatley gonna stay away from my ex, of course i no what its like to be cheated on thats why im never ever gonna do it again. i dont wanna screw around its not like im a seriel cheater or anything im gonna learn from my mistake.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by sar's the lady
    why should he be worried, ive admitted to myself i made a mistake ive never cheated on anyone before in my whole life so it aint exactley like im ive been fuckin around with everyone ive fancied.
    ive been on the recievin end aswell u no and i no it aint nice but the lads i was with were screwin around with everyone they set their eyes on i did it once and regretted it straight away.
    im not makin a twat of him, im tryin to protect him, so i made a mistake im sure you have to.
    Why should he be worried? :rolleyes:
    i know my ex is no good for me but ive still care for him along with the fact that i fancy this ass of him. my b/f treats me like a princess but i dont fancy him as much as my ex, arghhhhhh i feel sooooo confused why did i let this happen.
    That is why.

    You've said your bf treats you like a princess so why fuck him about? I know you've only done it once, never gonna do it again blah de blah de blah. But that doesn't excuse the fact that you have done it and your on here telling everyone you fancy the arse off the nobhead ex, and you don't really fancy the GOOD lad who treats you like a princess.:confused: you need to look at the relationship with your current bf and I think you also need to look at yourself. If you don't want to be treat like a princess by a decent lad then leave him and let some other lucky girl have the pleasure instead of fucking him about.

    Just my opinion :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Even though I don't think you did a very nice thing, I feel incredibly sorry for you and can sympathise with you a lot here. The guilt must be so consuming. With my last boyfriend, I went away on holiday about 2 weeks into the relationship and had a holiday romance with a guy who completely swept me off my feet and I ended up losing my virginity to him. The guilt when I got home was overpowering, especially as we grew closer once I got back and the relationship became serious as opposed to a casual dating thing.

    The problem is, when it comes down to it, you only want to tell him to make yourself feel better. But it'll hurt him so much if you do. So really, you think why should I tell him? What will it achieve? That was the dilemma I had. In the end, though, I realised I couldn't have a relationship with this huge secret looming over us and so I had to tell him. That's what you have to do too. I know some people will say that if it was just a one-off, you shouldn't say anything, but in my opinion that's like basing your relationship on a lie. The truth will out eventually. Maybe one day you'll get really drunk when you're out with him and you'll accidentally tell him. Or maybe your ex will tell someone and it'll get back to your boyfriend. Unfortunately, it's going to be a lot better in the long run if you tell him.

    Of course, if you don't actually want to be with your boyfriend anymore then that's another issue. Think about it and be honest with yourself - why ARE you still with your boyfriend? The way he feels about you isn't enough, you need to question how you feel about him!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think this is a case of what you can't have, or what you did have. Ex's always seem to pop their ugly (or rather good looking) faces in at the most inappropriate times.

    I'd talk to him (the ex), do you two want to be together? if so the bf needs to be rid of (in a nice way) and then you need to start again with the ex yet.........

    I don't know why you split with the ex, but i live by the rule Never go back, there was a reason why you split in the first place!

    Otherwise, maybe you need to talk to the ex and say it was wrong, and then it's up to you to tell the b/f.

    Or maybe.... you don't need either and want to start again!

    Hope that helps a bit.

    K x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm confused, i'm sure i read that you know what its like to be cheated on?

    yet you cheated on someone? must have read it wrong....

    basically your crap. if your cheating in a relationship then theres no hope, especially if you want your 'space'

    space = different levels of effection leading to one person wanting to see the other person more.

    sort it out
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