Just don’t want to go tomorrow

Rose113

I’m meant to be seeing my SMHP tomorrow at 9am but honestly I just don’t want to go, I cba reaching out for help like that and what am I gonna tell them…how much I actually don’t want to be here?? Like who’s gonna give a shit not like my last counsellor did so what’s the point. Me and my problems are obviously just an issue so I should just ban my own feelings

Leyla

Hi Rose!

It makes sense that you might feel hesitant to tell the SMHP the extent of your feelings, especially when your last counsellor did not care, but their job is to be there and care for your thoughts and feelings, so hopefully this one will be more empathetic. Your feelings are not something to be banned ever, you deserve to have a space to speak about them and you/your struggles are not a burden or the issue, even if professionals are potentially making you feel that way. You can share as much as you feel comfortable sharing with them - how much do you think you may tell them with how you're feeling at the moment?

Rose113

@Leyla i don’t even know what to tell any professional anymore. My feelings are pointless I shouldn’t be wasting anyone’s time

Sian321

@Rose113 , thank you for this message, and how are you this morning?

I really hear a sense of overwhelm from you - does that feel right? Reaching a point of not knowing what to say / not to say to professionals anymore, and feeling that opening up about yourself means wasting someone's time.

I hear you, and that also sounds really tough - to believe that your own feelings are not worth someone else listening to, or that you would not be worth-while to support. That sounds really isolating.

Particularly if we have had negative experiences in the past, it can be really hard to trust that someone might wish to listen to us or to really hear just how much we're struggling.

You're doing really well to talk about this, and we're here for you no matter what you decide.

How are things feeling today?

Rose113

Hi @Sian321 hsving a low day of uncontrollable crying and feeling unable to leave my bed