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extreme anger
bignosegirly0
Posts: 189 Helping Hand
I’m save. I’m not planning on hurting myself.
I’m a diagnosed autistic woman who struggled with extreme emotions and fail to regulate my emotions. I sometimes wonder whether I have BPD or not, due to how extreme my mindset is, and how I always switch to one end of the spectrum to the other, and never in between. (Either all good or all bad etc)
But to be fair, many people say that autistic people and people with BPD both experience extreme emotions and struggle with emotional regulation.
As I’m writing this, I feel extremely upset and angry. As always, I’m dwelling on past situations. I regret letting those who’ve hurt me get away with it. I wish I could yell in their face about how they’ve ruined me as a person.
I know that anger is a mask that covers another emotion, and underneath my anger, I feel unlovable. I feel hopeless. I feel insecure.
I just yearn for someone to help me fix my inner wounds and prove I’m capable of being lovable.
And knowing that I’ll never be lovable in the real world makes me feel more hopeless, insecure and unlovable.
I’m a diagnosed autistic woman who struggled with extreme emotions and fail to regulate my emotions. I sometimes wonder whether I have BPD or not, due to how extreme my mindset is, and how I always switch to one end of the spectrum to the other, and never in between. (Either all good or all bad etc)
But to be fair, many people say that autistic people and people with BPD both experience extreme emotions and struggle with emotional regulation.
As I’m writing this, I feel extremely upset and angry. As always, I’m dwelling on past situations. I regret letting those who’ve hurt me get away with it. I wish I could yell in their face about how they’ve ruined me as a person.
I know that anger is a mask that covers another emotion, and underneath my anger, I feel unlovable. I feel hopeless. I feel insecure.
I just yearn for someone to help me fix my inner wounds and prove I’m capable of being lovable.
And knowing that I’ll never be lovable in the real world makes me feel more hopeless, insecure and unlovable.
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Comments
i’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. that kind of emotional intensity sounds exhausting, and i can tell how deeply these thoughts and past experiences are weighing on you, but i want you to know that being lovable isn’t something you have to prove - you already are, just as you are!
i know it probably doesn’t feel that way right now, especially when past hurt keeps resurfacing. it makes complete sense that you’re angry and upset about being mistreated and your feelings are valid, and you deserved better. however, those people and their actions don’t define your worth.
you are capable of healing, of feeling loved, and of finding people who see you for who you truly are. i know that might not feel believable right now, but you’re not alone in this.
we’re all here for you, and we care about you. you don’t have to go through this alone - you’ve got this, i believe in you