(TW suicide) a cute and innocent video has made me broke down

bignosegirly0

I have a history of struggling with suicidal ideation.
I’ve made plans in the past and even attempted to end my life twice. The only thing that motivates me from preventing myself is knowing how deviated my family will be.

I was scrolling through tiktok and saw a photo montage of a seal from a zoo centre. Whilst scrolling through the photos, a really eery and depressing song was playing. It’s called ‘Showtime Paul’ by Charlie Campbell. Hence, I suspected the pet has died and it was an appreciation montage. Nope, the seal was thankfully alive.

This then made me think about how if I killed myself, myself will mourn over my death and look back and appreciate all the memories they’ve had since I was born; wishing they could bring me back. This broke me.

Sian321

Thank you for sharing this, @bignosegirly0 . The feelings that came up as you watched that video sound so powerful. Mourning for a life that might have been lost. You got yourself through those toughest of times. That feels huge. We're all so grateful you're here