I want to push her away

Rose113

I want to push my safe person away because she’s the one person that has been in my life the longest and hasn’t hurt me at all which is good but also it makes me incredibly anxious that one day she is going to up a leave me even tho she said the day she does will be the day that I die when I’m 100 (that’s what she said)

I give her all these scenarios and she answers them all but it just scares me that I’ll loose her any day now

shannon_164

hey @Rose113 that makes a lot of sense, and i really do get why you feel this way. when someone means so much to you, the fear of losing them can be overwhelming, even when they’ve reassured you time and time again - i know from experience. it’s like your brain is trying to prepare for the worst, even though there’s no real evidence that it’s coming, but the fact that she’s still here, still reassuring you, still choosing to stay - that matters, it means something. i know it’s hard to trust that, but maybe instead of focusing on the fear of losing her, you can try to focus on the fact that right now, she’s here - i know it’s SO hard to do that, trust me, i’ve been there but when you finally allow yourself to do that, it makes a difference, but i do understand if that feels impossible for you right now, and that is ok.

i also get why you feel like pushing her away, sometimes, when we care about someone so much, it feels safer to create distance before they can leave on their own. she cares about you, and you deserve that care.

i know the fear won’t disappear overnight, but you don’t have to go through it alone. we’re here too, and will always listen to you without any judgement.

i’m so proud of you for dealing with everything, you’ve got this, i believe in you🩷