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18/12/24 Christmas Support Thread
Claire28
Community Manager Posts: 28 Boards Initiate
Hey Everyone, welcome to the second Christmas Support Thread 
Here are some things you might want to bring to the space:
Feelings: Share how you're feeling about Christmas.
Worries: Discuss any specific challenges you're going through (including but not limited to, neurodivergence, family dynamics, money struggles, worries around food at Christmas time, loneliness at Christmas etc.)
Hopes: Talk about what you're looking forward to this festive season.
Peer Support: If you're feeling up to it, we also invite you to come along and offer support to others.
This space will run from 6:30-8pm today.
Looking forward to chatting today, I hope you find this space helpful.
Here are some things you might want to bring to the space:
Feelings: Share how you're feeling about Christmas.
Worries: Discuss any specific challenges you're going through (including but not limited to, neurodivergence, family dynamics, money struggles, worries around food at Christmas time, loneliness at Christmas etc.)
Hopes: Talk about what you're looking forward to this festive season.
Peer Support: If you're feeling up to it, we also invite you to come along and offer support to others.
This space will run from 6:30-8pm today.
Looking forward to chatting today, I hope you find this space helpful.
Post edited by Claire28 at
2
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
I'm really sorry to hear that you're worried about Christmas. It can be such a tough time of year for so many people
If you feel comfortable, do you want to share a little more about what makes Christmas so hard for you? Maybe we can help you find ways to make it a bit more manageable or at least be here to support you through it.
i just hate the whole family side of it and struggles around food, i feel so silly for it:/
@Claire28 yh I just saw she's on, I appreciate you both for running these, thanks so much for running this tonight. Good to hear youre good, I'm not too bad thanks
Ah, I hear you. I really want you to know that you're not silly at all for feeling this way!! Christmas can be so hard when it comes to family dynamics and the struggles with food, and so many people feel the same way. It's the furthest thing from silly!
Would it help to talk about what’s worrying you most about the family side of things or the food struggles? How do you get on with your family?
Big hugs!
Howdy @TheNightmare ! So great to see you here tonight
You're very welcome for the reply! Always happy to offer a listening ear when i'm able
I'm pretty fine! How are you doing tonight?
i just don’t really get on with my family tbh. what is scaring me most is what’s gonna happen next after how the appointment today went. i’m scared im gonna ruin christmas for everyone. i also get super sad i guess when i see families who wanna be around each other as im just so unwanted by mine:(
@Maia Im not too bad thanks still just feeling stuck in a rut though like the past few years have been full of setbacks, leaving me worried about the future. My academic performance never met my expectations, and I’ve been hard on myself because of it. I didn’t enjoy college, and now I feel stuck in a cycle of doubt, like every step forward is followed by another setback. The job search has been especially frustrating. I hoped my Forklift Truck training would open doors, but after it didn’t work out, I felt like I was back at square one. Despite support from others, self-doubt and disappointment still linger. I thought finding a job would be quicker, but as time passes, especially with Christmas approaching, it’s hard not to feel behind. While I know a job will be a step toward my bigger goals, the long wait has left me discouraged and unsure of any progress I’ve made. It’s tough at times atm, and I’m not sure how much longer I can take it. The uncertainty of when, or even if, things will change is really getting to me. Several months have gone by since I started applying, but I’m still not where I want to be. I’ve gotten some outcomes, but the pressure is just increasing. It feels like I’m falling behind, and I keep struggling with these repetitive feelings of being unfulfilled. I feel like a broken record, but this is literally how I feel every single day. I really mean that you're amazing though like you all are the people getting me through this. Also did you hear back about your future with the mix if you can still stay if you move out of the UK?
Oh nooo, i'm so sorry friend
Hhaha, i'm glad it was good things
I'm really sorry to hear that you don't get on with your family, @shannonxg_
You’re not going to ruin Christmas for anyone, Shannon. You deserve to have a day that feels even a little bit okay, even if it looks different for you. Maybe we can think about how to make the day feel safer or less overwhelming? Whether that’s taking some time for yourself, setting boundaries, or just giving yourself permission to feel how you feel. How does that feel?
the appointment was actually really good in terms of the fact i really opened up to her - i wrote her 6 A4 pages about how i feel lol - but that side of it was good but she then said she was a bit worried about some things ive shared then i did tell her i was safe and she says that she really does want to believe me but she also has to consider her duty of care etc too which i understand but it just kinda scared me i guess? so in the end she decided on contacting my gp just to check in with them as well. i just wanna clarify i am safe atm i promise:)
i just feel like i am going to ruin it because of how i feel or if the psychologists supervisor decided on a different action to take or if doctors get involved again and things end up worse. i’m really scared i am gonna ruin it for everyone… i also feel super anxious about the whole reaction to thinks. everyone expects a big reaction and i just don’t have that? it’s not because im ungrateful or anything, i just don’t know how to react to anything? it’s always been the case and im always just been seen as ungrateful which hurts so much as that’s not the issue.
i will probably spend my day with buster and just watch some christmas movies or something idk lol i also booked a shift with shout on christmas day because helping people helps me so i feel like that will be really good for a few hours to distract me too!
I can really hear the frustration and disappointment in what you’ve been saying, especially with how things haven’t gone as you hoped after your Forklift Truck training. I'm really sorry about that buddy
I completely understand how Christmas can make everything feel more intense, with so much pressure to feel like you’re “on track.” But your journey is your own, and it’s okay to take the time you need to get to where you're going. Maybe it would be worth giving yourself a small break from the job hunt, just until we get to the other side of Christmas, that way you can focus on you .
You're not alone with this @TheNightmare , we're all here for you
To answer your question, I’m still waiting to hear about my future with The Mix if I move out of the UK! I'll make sure i update y'all though
It's okay to have whatever Christmas Day you can manage and I think it's lovely that you are thinking about booking a volunteering shift with Shout
Something that can help is breaking the day down so it doesn't feel overwhelming with lots of breaks too. So for example you might say to yourself it's okay I just need to think about the morning, for the next couple of hours, I'm going to do X then all I need to do is watch a movie, then when that's finished I'll have a nap and cuddles with Buster.
How have the last few Christmases been for you?
pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
honestly i don’t really remember last christmas. i know the year before a person my mum was seeing came down and it was like kinda awkward:/
@Maia this is the place I feel like I can be open and gained some trust in, I'll always appreciate it. Yh like I everything is repetitive how I feel and stuff. Im not letting the forklift training course hold me back but it still is only my list of setbacks I dwell on and that I'm not sorted still now. Its just been a couple of Christmas's where I been not been in work and it sucks. I'm hoping early next year I get something, I'm waiting to hear about a voluntary role because someone said they are looking for people like this shop so I applied. I appreciate you are all here for me, hopefully you do get to stay if you do move because I'd be sad to see you go. Also how's your Audi Q3, is it running good?
Oooo, it sounds like your appointment was really productive! You were so brave to open up so much @shannonxg_ . I know how difficult it must've felt for you to be so vulnerable 🥺
6 A4 pages is mega! I can imagine it must feel scary to hear that your psychologist is a bit worried, even though you’ve reassured her you’re safe. It sounds like she’s just trying to do her best by you, and contacting your GP might be her way of making sure you have all the right support in place. I know you won't like this but i'm glad she has taken these steps, it means she has taken you seriously and genuinely cares - you need that!
It’s completely okay to feel scared about how things might unfold, Shannon, but please know that none of this is your fault!! You’re doing everything you can to take care of yourself and you've been suffering in silence for too long. It’s not your responsibility to carry everything.
When it comes to reactions, I hear how much it hurts to feel misunderstood. Some people naturally express emotions more outwardly, but that doesn't mean the way you react is wrong. I think it’s really important to remember that everyone shows emotions differently, and your feelings are just as meaningful, even if they don’t always show on the outside. Maybe this Christmas, you could gently remind others of that, so there’s less pressure on you to “perform” a certain way? You know yourself best, and you’re absolutely allowed to process things in your own way—it’s not ungrateful at all. Christmas is a day for everyone and you should be allowed to spend it in a way that feels natural and comfortable for you
Your Christmas day plans sound lovely! I wish I was spending the day with Buster the bat cat hahah. I love that you're volunteering too
You rock @shannonxg_ . I know things might feel overwhelming in the lead up to Christmas but we have your back here and we will always be here to listen.
Keep holding on
Hey you! How are you doing tonight?
@Claire28 thanks a lot, it's reassuring to hear I'm not the only one. Yh like the thing that gets to me a lot that it's the end of the year nearly at Christmas and it's been a few Christmas where I'm mot where I want to be like I'm getting there but just not there yet so I see not having a job yet as not having a job yet even though I'm trying. It just suck im putting in this effort and not there yet it's been getting me down for ages and today I was thinking about it and that why I'm so happy this is on to be listened to. Hopefully it's on Friday too, do you know if it is please?
it was so scary to let her read it all. i know she does really care, she is literally the best!!! i got super lucky with her, she genuinely is so supportive and has never once made me feel silly for feeling how i feel or invalidated anything so im really grateful for that. TW!! even today i said how a counsellor told me i self harm for attention, my social worker agreed on that and the psychologist immediately said that they were wrong for doing that - everyone always justifies what they said as correct - but she immediately said it was wrong and yes for sure their jobs can be so challenging at times and emotionally draining etc but it still does not at all justify what they said, she didn’t at all try to justify what they said and it felt so good?
no one ever listens when i try to explain it:( as soon as youth workers from education authority suggested additional learning needs, specifically adhd, my mum shut that down immediately:(
thank you so so much maia i really do appreciate you a lottttt🩷
awful cjristmas is so shit everything is. had noone to be with anyway but now im constantly worried abt my sister etc. everything is just so fucking ridiculous I hate Christmas I hate everything abt it i give up with it. 💔 missed you!
pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
Everything you're feeling right now is totally valid dude. Things have been piling up overtime and it's naturally to dwell a little on those setbacks. I hear that you've been doing your bet to move forward, though, and that's something to be proud of
Well done on applying for a voluntary role! I hope you get the place and that you enjoy it. I know it wasn't something you were 100% struck on but i'm glad you took the leap and applied anyway. It'll make your CV shine
I really hope next year brings positive changes for you. You've been working so hard and you deserve that breakthrough. We will all be cheering when you do!
I promiseee I’ll keep everyone updated, and hopefully I can stay connected with y'all
The Audi is running great! I have the hots for a BMW X3 I saw though, soo temping to treat myself to a new car but i best not hahah
hi
pfp kindly made by the beautiful chloe ❤️
It sounds like things suck for you right now @eylah
Is your sister okay, what has you worried about her?