Feeling low and need a hug

independent_

Aghhhh I'm just drained and having really bad intrusive thoughts. I've felt it coming for a while and tbh it does tend to happen at this time of year, I have kinda spotted a pattern as far as that goes... It's the thoughts and flashback to last year that is the worst part. My brain is soooooo busy and I can't calm it down. Well I took a zopiclone last night and that calmed it down enough to sleep. But i can't have that break during the day. I have so much to do today - shower, hoover because the hoover died on me yesterday, tidying up, looking at christmas shopping. But my brain is so busy with my own thoughts that it's hard to focus on any of that. Don't want to worry anyone outside and I only have here because nowhere else seems right for me.

TheNightmare

It sounds like you're going through a tough time, and it's okay to feel that way. Try to focus on one small task at a time, and remember to be kind to yourself. You're not alone, and it's good that you're sharing here. If it feels too much, consider reaching out to someone you trust. Im here too if you need.

independent_

@TheNightmare you have no idea how much that means. Thank you so much. That’s really kind.

I have christmas songs on to drown out the thoughts if nothing else. I bought a wireless shower speaker a few months ago, which was my motivation to do that, so one thing off my list.

Katie

Hey @independent_ what you described here does sound incredibly draining - your mind must feel so full of thoughts I'm glad you were able to get some sleep last night but I get that you can't really use that method during the day when you've got quite a bit to do. How are you getting on now?

Does anything help when your mind feels this busy? Like making to-do lists and ticking them off or setting yourself date/time goals? Please make sure you're taking care of yourself The festive period can be really busy anyway, but I can't imagine also having to deal with flashbacks as well. I'm sending you so many hugs

JMMV2005

@independent_ Sorry you feel like this

I understand it’s a horrible feeling when your brains giving you intrusive thoughts and going over things and it won’t relax, you mentioned you don’t want to talk about it to anyone, I’m sorry you feel like that, is there a reason you feel like that?

I’d recommend trying meditation, it really helps clear and refresh your mind and gives you a few minutes to forget about life’s problems and relax

I hope you start feeling better soon, and the people on this website are here when you need us 🙂

Amy22

@independent_ I know how scary intrusive thoughts can feel like at times. They just come out of nowhere don't they when we are enjoying ourselves the most too. It's sounds like your having a stressful week and it has been draining your energy. It sounds a little bit like a bit of burnout to me as well because burnout can happen after a stressful event or things. Sometimes I know when experiencing certain events such as trauma that can impact intrusive thoughts which can cause us to have spirals of feeling low emotionally and physically. I hear that you have been playing christmas songs to help with them. Do you find that listening to music helps you?. As this could be a technique you can use when you feel an intrusive thought about to enter your brain. What I tend to do myself if I have any is to try and tell myself that its just a 'thought' and that 'thoughts' can come and go. They are only thoughts and they are not real, they don't define who I am as a person. Sometimes I will also look at the thought from by sides and think well how realistically is this thought going to happen and if something does happen how can I solve it. I try to rationalise and put my thoughts into context to try and narrow down what is worrying me.

However, it does like a super stressful week you had and I want to give you massive big hugs right now. Also, you know where I am if you ever want to chat anytime like at all. Just let me know and I am here for you. Make sure to look after yourself right now.

Sending hugs,

Amy22

independent_

Thank you all @Amy22 @JMMV2025 @Katie Means a lot really kind of you all xx

It’s just been a few reminders over the past few days which have brought things back and I am just trying to distract myself but it’s hard. I’ve done 2 out of the 3 things I wanted today so more productive than I thought it was going to be. I suppose everything else can wait until tomorrow now. I always say to people not to worry about cleaning etc but I do feel it distracts me once I start. So I might end up doing that.

independent_

I think the hard part is that I don’t really have a space to rant anymore other than chat/making a thread here. But I don’t always feel it warrants a full thread. Esp if in a few years i stumble on it again and I don’t always like reading over old shit. I miss the hug/rant threads for this reason. It feels like I’m just aimlessly venting here .. at least in chat I’ll never see it again

We are probably making tea soon so I will sort that out when we are. I need to do something. As soon as I’ve stopped today the brain has took over.

TheNightmare

independent_ wrote: »

@TheNightmare you have no idea how much that means. Thank you so much. That’s really kind.

I have christmas songs on to drown out the thoughts if nothing else. I bought a wireless shower speaker a few months ago, which was my motivation to do that, so one thing off my list.

No worries, I remember you when I was called guest tortoise on the chats lol, when I first joined so if I could help out in anyway I will.

independent_

I’ve had another rubbish evening 😢 it’s not even anything specific upsetting me so idk but I miss the friday thread I had kinda planned my day around it🤣

Anyway I made something to eat well i didn’t really make it I just airfryed some cheese bites from maccies but i do feel better after having some food and putting the telly on to distract me.

Millie2787

You know what I’m so bloody proud of you @independent_ . You have achieved so much this year ! I know there has been some down right awful times but you’ve also made massive achievements. Sending you hugs from me and Dottie 🫂

independent_

Millie2787 wrote: »

You know what I’m so bloody proud of you @independent_ . You have achieved so much this year ! I know there has been some down right awful times but you’ve also made massive achievements. Sending you hugs from me and Dottie 🫂

@Millie2787 aww thank you so much. Hugs to you too from me and crazy Theo!

It’s been another year I’d probably rather forget but slightly less so than last year so that’s a win I guess? I think sometimes I just get overwhelmed with everything that’s happened in the past well probably nearly 3 years now. I always struggle at this time of year, I bloody love christmas so it’s a shame but it does make me think a lot. About christmases as a child before mental health and trauma. But thank you for always listening to my rants

TheNightmare

Sorry to hear your evenings not been the best again, I hope you have a better weekend, I can relate quite a bit, I missed the chat thread too and had a harder year but hopefully for both of us it will get better from here and next year is a good one. Im here if you need anything.

independent_

Honestly feeling rubbish my brain has been trying to pull this shit since before i first posted this. I know for a fact it’s more than a temporary slip but I don’t want to go to the doctors and go back on antidepressants because they didn’t help in fact they made it worse. But I’m struggling to pull myself out of it. Christmas and new year are overwhelming as it is and I thought I’d feel better once things were back to normal but nope. There’s a few causal factors that I won’t really go into here but I may in chat so it’s not written publicly.