(Mentions of suicide) Can’t tell if it’s autism or BPD?

bignosegirly0

I’ve been diagnosed with autism at 3 and experience issues like extreme emotions and hypersensitivity. But sometimes, I can’t tell whether my extreme reactions and actions are due to my autism, or whether I have secretly BPD.

Obviously, I understand that autism can cause extreme emotions and hypersensitivity. But my emotions feel like it’s on fucking acid and escalates so quickly to the point where I don’t think autism is the underlying cause / issue.

I don’t think it’s my autism that’s causing me to daily fantasies (even when nothing triggers it, it comes naturally) about screaming at those who’ve hurt me about how they’ve ruined me as a person and threatening to kill my self.

I don’t think it’s my autism that makes me experience violent fantasies, break items and lash out at others.

I don’t think it’s my autism that makes me believe everyone in this world is a piece of shit and make me want to avoid everyone.

I don’t think it’s my autism that makes me wish the worse on those who’ve hurt me, the worst being me wishing they would kill themselves before I do.

I don’t think this insane shit is due to my autism. Especially considering this is behaviour I’ve developed at 16. Even if it’s not BPD, it’s definitely not fucking normal.

Azziman

Hey @bignosegirly0, it sounds like you're having doubts around the diagnosis you have, and how the experiences you're having feel quite extreme and distressing. Of course, it's entirely possible that you could have autism and another condition as well, they're not mutually exclusive.

What makes you think that it might be BPD? Have you considered speaking to a GP about these concerns, as they'll be able to provide support in terms of therapy, diagnosis and advice? We're here to support you