Struggling with my thoughts and memories

Creativeboy23

I have been experiencing thoughts and memories that have been making me feel low. In my kitchen, I thought one of my support workers expected me to easily complete daily living tasks in my flat, which can be overwhelming. Particularly for autistic individuals since doing day-to-day tasks can be much harder for us. However, I know that though thoughts can feel authentic, they can often be irrational. I do not know what she is thinking. I am sure there was a time when she noticed a task and gave me a look at it, but I cannot remember. The thought reminded me of when my other support worker told me never to feel ignored and sent away when I shared that his comment made me feel those emotions.

He seemed different again after I mentioned in a service review meeting that I had made a complaint against them. I thought it was because the staff member shared my feedback with my support workers. However, he smiled at another tenant, complimenting him on his shoes, which made me feel that he singled me out. It is like his original view of me has changed, reinforcing similar past experiences with other people and supporting the feeling of being singled out. The two situations are unlikely to be connected, even if it feels that way. It might have had nothing to do with the meeting. It might be to do with personal stuff in his life. It is unlikely he would have intended for me to feel singled out.

My feelings and thoughts will always be valid, though, regardless of my rational thinking.

sinead276

first of all i hope you're okay @Creativeboy23 and i'm sorry to hear you feel singled out and perhaps not as supported as you feel you should be.

whilst i don't have a lot of advice i think your last sentence sums it up perfectly. no matter how rationally you think about the situation, if anything makes you feel a certain way then that's okay and your feelings are valid. if things have upset you or made you feel singled out - that's okay. regardless of the persons intentions.

sending you lots of hugs
Sinead

Creativeboy23

Hello @sinead276.

Thank you for your support.

Is there anything on your mind that you would like to share?