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could be cancer 😭

eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
i’m so scared just been to my dr appt abt results to check for cancer etc and its not gd but shes sending me for urgent ultrasound of my pelvis im so scared bc she said its internal to but could be a guy ive asked for female bc of past trauma. she said my tests are abnormal with the results and shes wanting to eliminate other causes but she isnt sure im so scared. :( rn i need mum but shes in heaven im so sad 😭. i’m in constant pain its agony im so tired of everything. :(
keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
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Comments

  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,643 Extreme Poster
    hey @eylah - hope you're doing okay. i know how difficult everything is for you at the moment, but just wanted to say that myself (and the rest of us on here) are thinking about you

    fingers crossed that things turn out okay and whatever the outcome is - you are so strong and we are here for you as always

    sending lots of hugs <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    im just thinking abt what happened last time i had this scan it was horrible im so scared bc i have to go by myself im struggling sm bc of it my mum isn’t here to support me. :( reminds me of hands that were horrible to me. :( i give up with everything 😭😭
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • ellaella Community Manager Posts: 280 The Mix Regular
    edited September 24
    Hey @eylah I understand how frightening this news must feel.

    I know it's difficult, but try to focus on taking things one step at a time. The ultrasound is just another way to get more information and understand what's going on <3

    I completely get the importance of having a female doctor, and I hope your doctor can accommodate that request- they should be able to if you have asked in advance. It's so important to feel comfortable and safe during your appointment and I want to empower you to ask for any accommodations which will help with that.

    Sending hugs, (if comfy) :star:
    Post edited by ella on
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    thankyou @ella means a lot <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,303 Part of The Furniture
    Have there been any updates @eylah? I can hear the importance of having a female for this scan, particularly with your history. It sounds difficult that this is reminding you of the past but we are all here to support you (including the medical professionals hopefully!) <3
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    @eylah I'm sorry it's a scary time right now and you're especially feeling the absence of your mum. Your health and wellbeing are of the utmost importance, and I expect if you press for a female doctor with the reasoning that you are not comfortable with a male doctor, they can arrange that. I do the same because I'm not comfortable either! So you're definitely not alone there <3 , and it won't be the first time they've been asked for that- they should do that for you :)

    For now, it sounds like they're being diligent by doing a thorough examination to rule it out- I've also been in that situation, and I found it helpful to focus on the first thing to hand: having a scan, and then going from there. There can be symptom overlap between less serious issues and more serious ones like cancer, so scans help them to take care of you and to not miss anything- to cover both the less serious and more serious scenarios.

    It is especially hard to not have your loved one when you need them beside you the most. I'm really sorry, pain can be so tiring, particularly when combined with the upheaval of a scary medical experience. Sending a big hug your way.

    We're here for you. X
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    idk how long ill have to wait bc i have a urgent scan for something else on wednesday and now i have to have another scan im in sm pain i just want this to end.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,579 Part of The Furniture
    Gosh @eylah I can only imagine how anxious you feel being left not knowing. :( Definitely keep us updated - do you have any general plans between now and then?
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    The truth resists simplicity.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    its terrifying @JustV im scared sm :( im just going to try think positive that im gonna be fine im ok im healthy etc bc negative thoughts will just push me further down. im just anxious abt it all bc im in constant physical pain i know its not period related bc i dont get them so its just up for drs to work it out. thankyou for being kind to me i appreciate it sm. <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • amy02amy02 Moderator Posts: 339 The Mix Regular
    We're here for you @eylah and are sending big hugs. <3 I can't imagine how anxious you must feel about the cause of the pain. Hopefully they'll be able to figure out what's going on soon and find something that helps
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    We're all here with you @eylah and you're not alone in going through this. I can understand how worried you're feeling at the moment, it's a really scary thing to be waiting on results and going through the process of referrals. Really well done for asking for what you need for the internal scan, this is so brave of you <3

    Do you know when your internal scan will be? Sending lots of hugs your way <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    Aoife wrote: »
    We're all here with you @eylah and you're not alone in going through this. I can understand how worried you're feeling at the moment, it's a really scary thing to be waiting on results and going through the process of referrals. Really well done for asking for what you need for the internal scan, this is so brave of you <3

    Do you know when your internal scan will be? Sending lots of hugs your way <3

    no not had a letter yet unfortunately but i got another scan today bc of different condition but that appt came in quick so idk how long im gonna be waiting bc i need it asap. thankyou aoife <3.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    I hope it comes through soon for you @eylah. It could be worth ringing the medical team to chase it up if it's been a little while you've been waiting for. There might be something they can do to speed things along :)

    I've seen your other thread about your other scan which I've just replied to. Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs your way <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,802 The Mix Elder
    That sounds super scary right now to go through especially having all of those scans right now :frown: . Im praying for your good health <3. Always here too if ever wanna talk. I hope your doing ok right now
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    thankyou im still waiting for the scan my dr sent the referral 23rd so could be waiting while but im in pain its agony. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,073 Boards Champion
    Hey @eylah, sorry to hear what you're going through between this and the other thread. Keeping you in thoughts and prayers, and I hope you get your answers and support soon. We're here to support you through this <3
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  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    got two ultrasounds booked in one for october 22nd. scared. :/ want to be able to go bc im on section 2 rn. :/
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,381 Boards Champion
    I’m not sure what that is but surely if it’s a medical procedure they’ll take you to have that done even if you have been sectioned? Maybe you could ask someone. Big hugs eylah, sorry I haven’t been able to read your other thread about this because I’m so busy, but i know you’re going through a lot right now. I hope that when you get these scans they find out it’s something relatively simple with an easy fix. 🫂
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,073 Boards Champion
    Hey @eylah, sorry to hear that you're feeling scared about these scans. I can imagine that being on section 2 at the moment is concerning. Is there someone that you could speak to about whether you'd be allowed to go to your scan? We're here to support you <3
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  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    thankyou its hard bc im struggling sm with everything idk how to handle it all.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,802 The Mix Elder
    @eylah it sounds like your going through so so much right now and I can't imagine the amount of pain and stress everything has been bringing to you. As @AnonymousToe I would be suprised if they coulden't let you have your ultrasound while being sectioned becuase technically your in a hospital and they got access to that equipment so you should be able to have it especially as its super important to have as well. I hope your doing ok right now and that the hospital staff are treating you well and making sure you feel better as well <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,643 Extreme Poster
    just wanted to also check in and say i hope you're doing okay @eylah - i can imagien how scaring and daunting this whole situation is for you.

    like the others have said, whilst i don't know the ins and outs of how the whole process works, i'd be surprised if they didn't let you have the ultrasound. i know it's all scary but you've been so brave and are doing so well.

    we are all super proud
    sending hugs
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    thankyou everyone sry for not responding until now. ill be able to go bc im not under section 2 anymore but im still anxious bc ive had internal scan before and it was so painful but thankyou everyone.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    im in a lot of pain with it today just resting now that im homr. im exhausted 😴.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    this appt cant come any sooner im in agony rn it hurts😭
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    i rly wish i could just stop the pain bc it hurts sm i hope the ultrasounds can find something bc im in agomy. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    We're here for you @eylah <3

    I can really hear how much pain you're experiencing and I hope the ultrasound will be able to help work out what's happening and possible treatment to reduce the pain you're experiencing. Is there anything you've found helps manage the pain a little bit? I hope you're able to rest lots while you're waiting for your appointment <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,659 The Mix Elder
    im in lots of pain today it hurts sm.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
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