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It's tough out here

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
Hiya, my name is Michelle, I'm 21 years old and decided as a last attempt to sign up to the site and see if it takes me somewhere or just becomes another site in my history browser. I live in Hackney, I have a full-time job in admin. I also struggle hugely with my ADHD and depression! I'm currently in this pit of never ending hopelessness, loneliness and a feeling of out of place when I'm around people. I guess this is because of my lack of sociability. It's hard to find activities in the area for 18-25 year olds to become creative but I yearn for some people to hang out, maybe have a best friend to rely on.

I definitely want to change my career, I would love to be a chef in the Royal Navy but I know that they can be quite particular with medical history aka if you have mental health issues and taking medication for it - which I am currently doing. I'm really hoping they will still allow me to do the chef role. I feel like being in the royal navy will be hard but will help me gain friends, improve my fitness with no choice and to finally be content with my job and my life.

Right now, the world is bleak to me even with the sun shining on me which I hate because I have always enjoyed the sun even in my darkest times. It's getting harder to interact, to wear the mask and to not give up completely. Does anyone know any possible activities in Hackney for 18-25 year old's or even in London itself? I feel if I find something and stick to it, I could actually make an attempt in changing this thing of a life I currently have.

Comments

  • jayne26jayne26 Moderator Posts: 47 Boards Initiate
    Hi @MCourt03 nice to meet you and welcome to the mix!

    I understand that you're having a bit of difficulty making friends and having a social output at the moment. I don't know how sport-inclined you are and if you like to play any games in particular, but you could consider joining a beginners group for something like tennis or badminton? I see that you'd like to improve your fitness, and this might give you some help towards that before you aim to join the royal navy? Just a thought - I know a lot of sports groups are really friendly and often have WhatsApp groups you can join to do socials. If you're more on the creative side, you could look into joining a crafts group of jewellery making group! I've seen that these are pretty affordable :)

    Let me know what you think <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,432 Community Veteran
    hi welcome <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,782 The Mix Elder
    Hiya @MCourt03 welcome to the mix!. Im sure you will enjoy here as there are plenty of topics and lovely people here to support you including me ☺ 😊. It's sounds like you have been having difficulty in finding groups to do social activities with at the moment in your local area and I know that feeling myself as not many places often do activities for young people eventhough they should be offered. I'm also a fellow neurodivegent and I know that wearing the mask can be super hard at times and demasking can be a challenge in itself!. What I will say is that its a gradual thing to de mask and it happens over time. I find I can de mask around people who are quite similar to me. I'm not from London/Hackney so I wouldn't sadly know any groups based there you could go to. I wonder if there are any groups online you could join maybe social media wise. I know you can go on website where you can meet like minded people and there's ones where u meet up and tall about a particular interest you all have. I think it's called Meet Up. It sounds like you have lots of aspirations too which is great and I hope you are able to get your dream job too of being a chef in the navy. Its a pleasure to meet you here.

    All the best and sending hugs,

    Amy22
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • amy02amy02 Moderator Posts: 330 The Mix Regular
    Hey @MCourt03 welcome to the Mix! It's a great community for support and we're always here to listen to you <3
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,616 Extreme Poster
    hello @MCourt03 and welcome first of all.

    hopefully that goals of becoming a chef in the navy comes true for you. unfortunately i'm not from London at all so wouldn't know where to begin with suggestions. but like jayne said, maybe trying beginners sports may eb of interests. or if that might not be your cup of tea i'm sure theres things for loads of hobbies like art etc. once you find something you enjoy doing i'm sure you'll make friends there too. there's usually groups on social media that advertise things and have get togethers with others, which may be of use looking into.

    look forward to hopefully seeing you around on here more in the future
    sending hugs
    Sinéad
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,065 Boards Champion
    Welcome @MCourt03, glad to have you here!

    What kind of activities are you looking for, and what interests you? That'll help to provide some more useful ideas/recommendations suited to your tastes!
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    @jayne26 Thank you for commenting :) I'm definitely thinking of doing a group sport although I am really nervous that I will be out of my depth as I don't really have any experience in Sports but I need to overcome this fear and just go for it. I believe there's this app called sportas which has groups in the area for young adults which should go well. I'll let you know how it goes!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    @Amy22 Heya and thank you! :) That's a really valid point which I forget that demasking and masking also take a big toll on your mental health, as you know as a neurodivergent it can definitely feel quite isolating at times as it can be hard for other people to understand you but I think it important to just keep spreading awareness about neurodivergence and the effects it has. Yes! I used to use Meetup some years ago but stopped because there wasn't anything for my age but I will have a look and try to apply for a group I think and will let you know! :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    @amy02 Thank you :) I look forward to exploring this site and meeting new people!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    @sinead276 No worries, thank you for commenting anyways :). I appreciate all the advice I can get. I definitely think Sports is a key way to get out and move people and sports itself have great effects for your wellbeing too
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    @Azziman Thank you, glad to be here! :) I would be interested in sports such as netball, volleyball, badminton, table tennis etc and also creative stuff like art, pot making, design, graphic design, working on a film set etc. It would be great to find some face to face activities with the age range 18-25 than online as I feel you cant spark up a connection as well as if it is in person
  • MaisyMaisy Deactivated Posts: 701 Part of The Mix Family
    Welcome to The Mix, Michelle!

    I hear you- it can feel very lonely when you don't have a best friend and feel that you don't always fit in with others. I hope that you will fit in here though!

    Your dream of becoming a Royal Navy chef is amazing and I really hope you achieve that someday!

    Take care and see you around :)
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • ameliaJayneameliaJayne Deactivated Posts: 94 Budding Regular
    Hi @MCourt03 it is lovely to have you hear.
    I am sorry you are going through a difficult time at the moment, I hope that you will be able to connect with some of our users in The Mix community.

    I think joining a creative club would be a really great idea for you to get socialising and also doing something fun that doesn't require perfection just pure enjoyment. Potentially something like pottery or painting!

    Look forward to seeing you around on The Mix! <3
  • ebyrne556ebyrne556 Moderator Posts: 1,130 Wise Owl
    Welcome to the mix @MCourt03 <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • lunarcat522lunarcat522 Moderator Posts: 608 Incredible Poster
    Hi @MCourt03 welcome to the mix! Being a chef sounds so interesting - keep us updated on how everything goes!
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Community Champion Posts: 2,061 Boards Champion
    Heyo Michelle, welcome to the mix! Sorry to hear about your struggles, I relate a lot. Hope you find what you're looking for in this lovely community :) Sending hugs
    Believe in me - who believes in you
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