It's too hard

Rose113

It's too hard. It's too fucking hard. I cant do it yet I have to. Gotta mask all the fucking time even when dont want to I don't feel okay but I give up, I give up. I want cut everyone off. If I get out people's lives then they don't have to deal with me so I guess next step is leaving the mix. Least everyone be happy then.

ella

I hear and understand your frustration, @Rose113. Masking can be incredibly difficult and tiring, and it's valid to feel overwhelmed. But The Mix community is here to support you, no matter what. We know this isn't easy, and we're always here to listen without judgement.

It is okay of you need to take a break from social interaction but please remember that you are a valued member of our community. I am wondering if we could explore other ways to connect with people without feeling the pressure to mask? How does that sound?

Rose113

@ella yeah but I feel need to mask all the time

ameliaJayne

@Rose113 I am sorry that you are having a really difficult time at the moment. It must be so frustrating feeling like you have to hide who you really are. You should be able to behave exactly as is comfortable for you, as you are perfect just the way you are.

Try to remind yourself of this every day. Surround yourself with positive people who make you feel accepted. And if you feel comfortable, push yourself a little to stop the masking here and there. I know it must feel like such a challenge but one day you will be so grateful of all the progress you have made.

Here at The Mix you never have to hide who you are. We accept you for your true self and we wouldn't want you any other way. As long as you want to stay here with the community, we want you here too. If you choose to take a break that is okay too, we will still be here when you choose to come back.

Perhaps speaking to a family member or friend about your struggles may help to take the weight of the negative emotions you have been feeling off your shoulders. Or even writing it down in a journal/diary.

I am going to attach a link to a video of a woman who spent a lot of her life masking and how she has now decided to stop. Maybe you will be able to relate to some of the things she talks about and you might find it helpful to realise you are not alone and things will get better for you. https://www.bbc.co.uk/ideas/videos/im-autistic-heres-why-i-decided-to-stop-masking/p0gffmp8

You are so brave and strong for how you have been coping so far and also for opening up and sharing your feelings with us on The Mix. It is definitely a journey but we believe in you. You've got this.

Sindy

I'm so sorry. Feels really lonely place to be In. Amd I get that. U feel ur a bother.
But pls know ur worthy!
And we want u here x💓