Imagining you're being observed

sputnik

I know this sounds very strange, but does anyone else ever feel like your favourite fictional characters (or real people, sometimes) are 'watching' you? Like they're just sort of floating invisibly nearby, observing everything you do? I get this a LOT, and I always feel really self-conscious as if they really are watching me, and this feeling of wanting to 'impress' them and be approved of by them, which dictates my behaviours etc for fear of embarrassing myself 'in front of' them. Even though I'm perfectly aware they don't really exist, it feels very real. Maybe it's like they represent different parts of my awareness, I don't know. I hate it, I wish I could just go about my day without this feeling hanging over me that my every move is being observed and critiqued.

lunarcat522

@sputnik Sometimes, most often at night, in my case I think it's maladaptive daydreaming

Amy22

@sputnik I also feel this too sometimes especially with fictional characters I have fondness for as well as wanting to feel a sense of approval. I also agree with @lunarcat522 as well as it happens at night too and I tend to maladaptive daydream about my comfort characters. One thing I do which helps to not feel judged is turn my fictional characters into something positive so when I feel anxious or nervous I can use them for guidance and advice. It does sound tiring for you to be constantly feeling like you watched or judged by characters you like.

Terry8936

@sputnik What you're describing sounds like a form of intrusive or obsessive thinking, which can be related to anxiety. It's not uncommon for people to have intrusive thoughts or beliefs that feel very real to them, even though they know, logically, that they are not. These thoughts can take various forms, and what you're experiencing is not necessarily strange or unique.

If these thoughts are causing you significant distress or impacting your daily life, it's essential to consider seeking help from a mental health professional who can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific situation. Remember that you're not alone in experiencing intrusive thoughts, and there are resources available to help you manage them.

Amy22

sputnik wrote: »

I know this sounds very strange, but does anyone else ever feel like your favourite fictional characters (or real people, sometimes) are 'watching' you? Like they're just sort of floating invisibly nearby, observing everything you do? I get this a LOT, and I always feel really self-conscious as if they really are watching me, and this feeling of wanting to 'impress' them and be approved of by them, which dictates my behaviours etc for fear of embarrassing myself 'in front of' them. Even though I'm perfectly aware they don't really exist, it feels very real. Maybe it's like they represent different parts of my awareness, I don't know. I hate it, I wish I could just go about my day without this feeling hanging over me that my every move is being observed and critiqued.

Actually Sputnik I feel that all the time now just thinking of it. It's like the people you love are judging you and you have to be perfect for their standards and stuff. I totally get it .

sputnik

Hey thanks for your replies @Amy22 @lunarcat522 and @Terry8936 , sorry it took me a while to respond!

lunarcat522 wrote: »

@sputnik Sometimes, most often at night, in my case I think it's maladaptive daydreaming

Ah yes I make up stories in my head at night about characters, and sometimes during the day if I'm zoned-out, like on car journeys.

@Amy22 Ah that's interesting! Yes exactly, like you're in front of an audience all the time. I feel like I can't let my guard down.

@Terry8936 that's true it's definitely part of my OCD, now I think about it. It intersects a lot with feeling ashamed so the cycle is like [feel like characters are watching] -> [shame gets triggered] -> [change behaviour to alleviate shame] -> [repeat]. Am trying to keep an eye out more for it and not go along with the cycle as ever, it's flipping hard

IainJammyboy

For me honestly I'm always paranoid of my parents for that reason, as they can and have just hovered around me watching what I'm doing without me knowing

sputnik

That sounds awful @IainJammyboy Sounds like they're projecting their own anxiety onto you?

Amy22

@sputnik the part where you mentioned about creating characters and scenario's sounds a lot like me as I also do the same but with comfort characters. Sometimes at night I feel like I become my comfort character in a different world where I don't have to worry about the things in my reality.

sputnik

Amy22 wrote: »

@sputnik the part where you mentioned about creating characters and scenario's sounds a lot like me as I also do the same but with comfort characters. Sometimes at night I feel like I become my comfort character in a different world where I don't have to worry about the things in my reality.

Exactly, same here! I create a character that kind of 'represents' me in the other characters' universe, it's escapism from myself and the real world I guess.

Amy22

@sputnik omg this is me too as its totally that feeling of wanting of to escape from reality. I find it's kind of like a shift from the world into a fictional world designed by you and for you in a way. I often find myself shifting or associating with comfort characters of mine. I learnt about something called fictionkin which is where you resonate with a comfort character so much you feel like you are them and their memories are your memories. Its kind of like having a past life in a way I sometimes I feel like I had a past life or lives as I can vividly remember certain things.