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Am I weirdo?.

Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,784 Community Veteran
I feel like such a weirdo creep sometimes, like I like weird things or interests which makes me feel like such a weird disgusting person. I hate myself. This will sound stupid but I like reading fanfiction such as transformations like werewolves and cats and *certain* fanfics cause for some reason I get joy out of it I guess then I feel deflated afterwards for reading something so bad and weird. Also, I did some self exploration again tonight while reading and I got warm and my mum walked in. I felt so embarrassed and nervous. I keep making the same mistake of reading these type of fanfics why coulden't I be a normal human being for once not this creep that I am becoming?. Sorry for writing this and sorry if this post creeps you out. I'm just a disgusting creep who likes weird fanfics that involve weird things such as body horror and stuff.
Just a person who likes pop culture and films
libbystrawberryFordRanger

Comments

  • support_squad23support_squad23 Posts: 113 The Mix Convert
    Hi @Amy22

    I can see that reading these fanfics brings you contentment and pleasure. It can be really upsetting and demoralising when this is almost immediately quashed by concern that this habit is weird. May I ask what about this literature feels particularly creepy? Or what is causing you to feel this way? It can be hard to block out these thoughts, but you are deserving of having hobbies and some fun!
    Amy22
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,784 Community Veteran
    Hi @Amy22

    I can see that reading these fanfics brings you contentment and pleasure. It can be really upsetting and demoralising when this is almost immediately quashed by concern that this habit is weird. May I ask what about this literature feels particularly creepy? Or what is causing you to feel this way? It can be hard to block out these thoughts, but you are deserving of having hobbies and some fun!

    Thank you so much @support_squad23 I guess the parts that make it creepy I don't know but I think its to do with like romantic actions I'm not sure. I like particular fanfics that often involve romantic or sexual incounters like shipping with other characters and stuff. I just feel like I dont know at this moment in time. Like the time i was obsessed with charlie and the chocolate factory and liked that scene in the film. It makes me feel strange. Sorry if this post sounds odd.
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • genderless_fungigenderless_fungi Moderator Posts: 156 Helping Hand
    Hello @Amy22
    I'm by no means an expert but i know that trying to explore one's own sexuality or romantic preferences through fanfiction is very common. I don't think there's anything disgusting or wrong about it, but i also know there's a lot of stigma around sex in general and especially around unusual sexual practices/situations. There's similarly a lot of judgement about the right or wrong way to approach romance. It's important to keep in mind that being curious about specific fantasies and interested in new or even bizarre sexual/romantic scenarios does not make anyone gross, and you deserve to feel like your mind is a safe place to let yourself explore new interests freely even if it's just because you enjoy reading them as a hobby or are interested in a particular tv show/film.
    Do you think that this negative reaction may be the result of thinking that reading these types of fanfictions may be seen as wrong by others?
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    JJLemon18Amy22libbystrawberry
  • JJLemon18JJLemon18 Community Champion Posts: 1,876 Extreme Poster
    Heya Amy. You're not a creep at all! I agree with a lot of what genderless_fungi mentioned. From what I've heard having what some people might call 'weird' or 'unusual' fantasies or liking these fanfics that you mention is a lot more common than you think. It's about the stigma that people associate with this. For example someone who enjoys these same fanfics as you might read your post, see that you call it 'weird' and then they'll start thinking that way about it too. I think its great that you made this post as it's a big step to break this stigma surrounding this topic and let other people realise that some of the things they like might not be that bad after all.
    And sure, there will be people who might not like it. And there definitely will be people who might make fun of you for it (its the world we live in unfortunately) but I bet these people also have some things that you could make fun of them for, they just don't let you know about it.
    This type of content exists and people keep making it so you're definitely not the only one who enjoys it haha.
    In the end, if you enjoy something, and it doesn't cause anyone any harm, then what's wrong with that? Just be yourself, and don't ever feel bad about that!
    Take care <3
    Believe in me - who believes is you
    Amy22
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,784 Community Veteran
    Thank you so much @genderless_fungi and @JJLemon18 I think I might have been thinking about it all wrong in a way. I think I like reading steamy romances but Im also sex repulsed at the same time as well so I guess I was questioning myself a lot. I tend to struggle to be myself sometimes
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
    libbystrawberryJJLemon18
  • libbystrawberrylibbystrawberry Community Champion Posts: 556 Incredible Poster
    Amy22 wrote: »
    Thank you so much @genderless_fungi and @JJLemon18 I think I might have been thinking about it all wrong in a way. I think I like reading steamy romances but Im also sex repulsed at the same time as well so I guess I was questioning myself a lot. I tend to struggle to be myself sometimes

    just remember u were not born to please anyone, u can only be u as everyone else is taken, be yourself and ik u said u struggle with that but carry on reading ur fanfics or reading romaces, theres no problem with that. Just do things u would usually do and like and dont let anyone influence u <3
    I was on the outside, always looking in
    Amy22JJLemon18
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,784 Community Veteran
    thank you @libbystrawberry I just feel like I struggle with being my most authentic self I guess but thanks so much I really appreciate it <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
    libbystrawberryJJLemon18ebyrne556
  • support_squad23support_squad23 Posts: 113 The Mix Convert
    Hi @Amy22

    It's lovely to see so many others sharing that they find this to be a very normal and enjoyable hobby! Growing up and to this day, I enjoy a good romance novel or film myself. I hope these comments can help you to find greater acceptance of yourself. Doing so can be really tricky, it's understandable that celebrating your authentic self doesn't necessarily come naturally. I think you'd find that many others are in this position too. Keep pursuing what brings you happiness :)

    Take care
    Amy22
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,784 Community Veteran
    Thank you @support_squad23
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
    ebyrne556
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