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Addressing somebody

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I was having this argument with my bf a few weeks ago, about how you address somebody who's in a position of authority over you.

he said that if your boss/uni lecturer/interviewer etc calls you by your first name, you have the right to call them by their first name. what do you think?

And we were referring to people who were very high up the ladder, or who you didn't really know very well.

I said I didn't agree but I wasn't able to explain why properly. I call most of my lecturers by their first name because that's how they introduced themselves. But if I was going to see the head of department I wouldn't call her Margaret, even if she called me Clare!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'd probably ask them what they'd like me to call them.

    otherwise i'd avoid saying their name at all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally would say Mr Brown how are you, then he would say "dont be silly its Tom to you" hopefully :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kaffrin
    i'd probably ask them what they'd like me to call them.

    otherwise i'd avoid saying their name at all.

    aye that's what I said at first, but he said that they should be asking you what you prefer to be called first. otherwise it shows a lack of respect.

    I said that to me it would show they were trying to be friendly, whereas if I used their first name it would show that I didn't respect their authority.

    or something like that!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    I personally would say Mr Brown how are you, then he would say "dont be silly its Tom to you" hopefully :D

    but even if like Mr Brown was a man interviewing you who you'd never seen before? Do you have the right to call him Tom if he calls you Becky, and not Mrs Boo (:lol: you know what I mean)?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Usually what they tell me their name is or whatever everyone else calls them
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    I personally would say Mr Brown how are you, then he would say "dont be silly its Tom to you" hopefully :D

    It's like meeting the 'rents. " Sir, I like your daughter a lot" " Oh no need for the sir. Just call me Dr Smith"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by KoolCat
    but even if like Mr Brown was a man interviewing you who you'd never seen before? Do you have the right to call him Tom if he calls you Becky, and not Mrs Boo (:lol: you know what I mean)?

    deffinately NO, you only call them by their first name when they tell you, but if thats at the interview then yes call him Tom.

    Id be yes Mr Brown, no Mr Brown kiss my arse Mr Brown :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    deffinately NO, you only call them by their first name when they tell you, but if thats at the interview then yes call him Tom.

    Id be yes Mr Brown, no Mr Brown kiss my arse Mr Brown :D

    yep this was my thinking, but I wasn't able to explain why properly. because he just kept saying "why have they got the right to call you by your first name if you don't have the right to do the same back"

    What's worrying me is that he'll have all his graduate interviews coming up soon! lol
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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