happiness

ellie2000

i were tlkn to mum last nite n i were thinking, hav i let ppl down for not being happy
i usually block stuff out by playing games

ellie2000

wen i was playing 'stanley parable 2/ultra deluxe' and she rambles unexpectedly i jump, i take my headphones off, n i say 'wat!' am i getting rude?. is stanley parable wat life is? wat does it simulate?

Lucy307

I don’t think you’ve let people down for having feelings, Ellie 💜 did you ask your mum what she thought?

ellie2000

I can't find the words to ask. N I don't want to disturb so I play n she reads new scientist

AislingDM

Ah, I get what you mean, like wondering if the difficult experiences in your life have made an impact on how positive of a person you are?

I think 1) we can all snap a bit when we don't mean to, especially if we are busy or particularly tired on a given day, plus people often say we are more likely to snap at people we are around 24/7 because sometimes their presence alone can become frustrating 2) wanting to not let others down already shows how strongly compassionate you are @ellie2000 , your concern for how you affect others is beyond kind. Sometimes though, this does not leave enough room to cut yourself some slack. Sometimes we do not have to be 100% perfect and you are certainly not hurting anyone being being honest about how much pain you are in.

The people around you should try their best to be comforting, especially when you are in a lot of pain.

I know you say you don't want to disturb your mum, which makes total sense. But, I was wondering, why don't you write down here what you'd like to say to her if you could say anything?

ellie2000

i hav confidence issues around ppl, i didnt used to hav

AislingDM

Apologies for taking so long to get back to you @ellie2000 That sounds really frustrating for you, to feel self-doubt is always exhausting, let alone when it's a new emotion that has popped up out of nowhere. It sounds like the lack of confidence is related to being around others, is this right?

If so, it might be good to talk some more about where you think that lack of confidence is coming from to see if we can brainstorm some ways to improve your self-esteem in social situations!

I know some of the ideas on Mind might sound obvious to some people, but repeatedly affirming that you are a good person can sometimes be the first step to enhancing your confidence:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-esteem/tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/

ellie2000

how do u stop doubting urself?

AislingDM

That is such an important, but tough question, knowing how to feel confidence in your self and not constantly doubt everything you do is certainly something we all struggle with @ellie2000

I think this article has some useful tips, especially about how we should realign our mindset when it comes to self-doubt and regret:

https://eugenetherapy.com/article/overcome-self-doubt/

There is an interesting idea that overcoming self-doubt requires us to remember the mistakes and bad choices we have made and I know this can be immensely tough, but it is true that we cannot really move forward until we have accepted the past.