tw: binge eating and suicidal thoughts

hol_aa

i just ate way too much and I usually feel really guilty after this happens and regret it

but this time all I can think is 'it doesn't even matter, you'll be dead soon anyways'

and it's scaring me because it's not like I'm planning anything

it's just like that voice is there constantly and it's impossible for me to believe that I will be able to go on living

sorry I just wanted to get it out of my head

BenMa

Hey @hol_aa,

Firstly, just wanted to take a moment to celebrate you for reaching out and taking this opportunity to get some of these really difficult things out of your head and onto paper (well, an online post)! It can take a lot of courage to do that, and you've managed to vocalise this so well!

It sounds like yesterday when you felt as though you had eaten too much, those familiar feelings of guilt were replaced with some intrusive thoughts about dying, though I hear you haven't got a plan to act on your suicidal thoughts nor is this something that you've considered.

Through all of this, how have you been coping and is there any support that you've had or considered? In case you are looking for some options of support, or would like someone to talk to (as well as our helpline) you have:

Crisis Messenger - 24/7 crisis support over text. You’ll text back and forth, only sharing what you feel comfortable with. They can deal issues such as Suicidal thoughts and other mental health concerns.

I'm wondering if you would feel like sharing more about what this voice/thought is like for you to experience, and maybe the community can provide some support in coping with this and connecting with that part of you that does want to keep on living?

How's today been for you?

Take good care!

Ben