Worried about my future

FordRanger

Hi, i posted a few days ago and i didn't get any responses, it is a bit of a long discussion but i thought id trying posting in a different category. Basically me and my cousin used to go football games with my good friend then we fell out so me and my cousin had to go alone. I remember once we went, it was depressing going to the game with just me and my cousin, it was lonely without taking friends. My cousin passed his driving test a few months before, he bought an Alfa Romeo Mito so i was excited to go with him in it, also another friend was supposed to come with us but i think he went with his dad so me and my cousin had to go alone. Instead of going to the game with our friend, we had to go alone, it was lonely, our team lost the game, we had nothing to eat because we weren't in the mood, i had college the next day too and i think we just walked to my cousins car then he drove home then i think we just want to bed. I was just thinking about the past last night and a bit this morning about college and schools etc. Ive been in college for a few years now, I'm pretty much finished and im just glad about it. I was at college that i just didn't like, in general it was depressing on the nights before college like when the start of the week and I have college on a Monday. The sunday night and Monday morning was just sometimes depressing. I think September time too especially is depressing as student because the new academic year starts, its back to college or school, it gets darker earlier, it gets colder too so you can't go out as much.

It was depressing going out on the night before college too for me, like than football game I spoke about above, it was in about September or October time so it was more depressing. In spring summer time as a student I think things start to get better though because the weather is improving, its getting lighter, heading towards the end of the academic year and then I start to get a bit more happier, it is still kind of a chore getting up to go college but its like you feel better because it's getting nearer to the end of the year . It's just like now I just finishing college which I didn't like, I just want to do something I want to do instead of being forced or pressured I'm what to do because school and college you have to go by law but I've sometimes just been in college which I didn't like and my last secondary school was alright tbf but I went to college which felt like a backwards step from school. Also I went to other schools which I didn't like at all, even my last secondary school, it was OK like a good school but I just still wanted to get out, I think because I have been in school most of my life and wanted a change. Then I had college which I didn't like obviously. I just find some teachers annoying, staff in college I just didn't like including my tutor i had, they just nag you and everything. Also students in my class they seemed a bit weird.

Ive wanted to get out of college for a few months. ​There's people who would take the piss or like make it look so odd about being in college at older, like I was 21 and people would make it look seem so odd that I was at still college at that age. I've just been thinking now I finishing college basically I want to do something I'm happy with. I just feel like I'm not going to end up doing something I'm happy with like I might have to work in a job I don't like 9 to 5, 5 days a week or more until retirement age, I feel like sometimes the doing something I don't like is going to continue. I think it's reality to most people but a lot of people make money in self employed and are happier or have passive income they have a work/ social life balance and I just want to be like that but I say a lot about this, I just don’t feel capable of it.

liv_rose

HI @FordRanger . What you are going through is completely normal and understandable. Life and the future can be really overwhelming but it is really helpful to take things one day at a time and not look too far into the future to things we can't control. Just keeping your focus on the current week makes everything seem a lot more manageable. Also talking to other people around you for support is extremely helpful, so reaching out on the Mix is a great step. Well done for persevering with college, I would look at that and feel a sense of achievement which you can bring forward with you into the future. Being able to look at the past and see that you have done some tough things can be really helpful, so when you look forward you know you are capable. And you have probably done a lot more than you realise. And there are many resources online that are helpful for finding different jobs or opportunities, and you don't have to find the right fit straight away you can always try new things and find what feels the best for you.

I really hope some of this helped and feel free to reach out again if you need!

FordRanger

liv_rose wrote: »

HI @FordRanger . What you are going through is completely normal and understandable. Life and the future can be really overwhelming but it is really helpful to take things one day at a time and not look too far into the future to things we can't control. Just keeping your focus on the current week makes everything seem a lot more manageable. Also talking to other people around you for support is extremely helpful, so reaching out on the Mix is a great step. Well done for persevering with college, I would look at that and feel a sense of achievement which you can bring forward with you into the future. Being able to look at the past and see that you have done some tough things can be really helpful, so when you look forward you know you are capable. And you have probably done a lot more than you realise. And there are many resources online that are helpful for finding different jobs or opportunities, and you don't have to find the right fit straight away you can always try new things and find what feels the best for you.

I really hope some of this helped and feel free to reach out again if you need!

True. Hopefully things will work out. I just don’t want to do anything else that I don't like, I feel like it would just fuck me up.