head voices

ellie2000

where do they come frm?

Stellaluna

@ellie2000 Could you please explain what your experience of head voices is like?

ellie2000

things alright to do tht r bad tht i gave in at coz they were position of power. wen another person in the same trust yelled 4 no reason, i went to tht habit to escape into a bubble tht the first person sed it was alright to do which werent gd. i got ptsd and tht habit i recent got back into. wat do i do?
fishy game helps called fishdom its like a virtual fishtank with candy crush

AislingDM

Hm, this is a really important question and given how frightening head voices can be it makes sense to wonder more about them @ellie2000 !

It sounds like your PTSD is having a flare up right now and that's making the voices come back which must be confusing and uncomfortable for you, I'm glad you have games like fishdom to keep you company, but you should also get some extra support for your wellbeing, I reckon?

Would you like to talk about what might have made the PTSD habits come back recently? xxx

ellie2000

being on my own
wondering if youtuber 'gloom' has died?. her name is feature on 'sally face' thanks to screen
not knowing outcomes of stuff
fotunatly my neybors kicked out now, so its quiet
im thinking too much, not able to enjoy stuff, do u no wat do to?

AislingDM

I'm glad you've been able to get a bit of peace and quiet with your neighbours out of the picture @ellie2000 but of course, you're still left with lots of thoughts and situations that overwhelm you and cause your PTSD to become more intense, right?

It certainly takes you out of any positive situation, when you're so overwhelmed by so much competing pain, you're not even able to focus on the things that used to bring you happiness.

Wanting to move away from that makes total sense, I suppose a lot of people find grounding themselves in the moment to be helpful in the short term in coping with flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms, this article explains examples of that:

https://www.letss.org.au/index.php/individual-blog/the-54321-technique-grounding-exercise-for-panic-attacks

Do you find anything is able to take you away from being overwhelmed? xx

ellie2000

Things tht I take pleasure in are weekends and cats, I don't find the week any comfort, I sortof lost finding pleasure in having fun bc ppl inflicted trauma on me. Nd I weren't notified when stuff ended. My head in circling as if I'm stuck wen things were bad

Former Member

What do you do on the weekend that you like, Ellie, and do you have a cat or just fond of them? 😊

I’m wondering if you wanted to talk a little more about not finding any comfort during the week - are you usually busy and wishing for the weekend?

ellie2000

i hav black n white one, but i c tht on the weekend
during the week i hav no-one to tlk to, i got hold of mr.c's number so thts gd, im worried during the week, i go to bed hoping days go by until its the weekend

AislingDM

Ah, that sounds so isolating and lonely for you @ellie2000 , to feel alone in your own head all week is definitely a really long time. I'm glad to hear that you're able to contact Mr.C during the week, but I'm wondering if you could explain some more about why you're not able to speak to anyone during the week? Huge hugs as always xx

ellie2000

in the week im normally on my own, i accepted tht mr.c isnt online always. thts y i scream n peer support comes to the rescue

ellie2000

i get calls frm members of my family who live to far away the morning after, concerned

AislingDM

Ah, I get what you mean, because you're physically on your own, you don't have many options for people to turn to, not just to chat but also to have more intense conversations. It seems like you really want to have people who are there for you in a more easy-to-access way? I'm wondering about friends too, do you have people in your life who support your socially @ellie2000 ? xxx

ellie2000

i think apart frm family, all ppl r toxic, the good friends either move away or top themselves

AislingDM

That's such a sad and insightful point you make @ellie2000 , losing our friends either because they pass away or because they move away is immensely isolating and can make us feel even less able to trust new people who enter our lives, right?

It sounds like some people in your family bring you some sense of faith in relationships, as you say not all family are toxic? Who in your family do you trust and feel comforted by? x

ellie2000

i sometimes dont like tlknto family, coz i got told off once for tlkn bout my issues

AislingDM

Ah, I think I understand you @ellie2000 , so the times where you try to open up, be vulnerable and start a conversation, you are shut down by family? Having that experience is definitely not going to help you to feel able to trust others What do you think made them want to tell you off, when you were only trying to talk?

ellie2000

i dont no how to open up without a bad reaction

Former Member

Hey @ellie2000

You are doing really well to open up to us on here, and we are here for you.

How are you doing today?

ellie2000

im gd, i tlkd to dad which its hard to call, i just send the odd text, wen somethings wrong i text 'luv u' nd i wait a 'luv u too' n then i get on with my day. we worked out tht i feel isolated. wen i want to call someone to tlk bout something, i get the number n then hover my thumb over the green icon n dont call
so i just play 'cult of the lamb' and 'baba is u'

Former Member

Nice to hear that you spoke to your dad, Ellie, did you enjoy that conversation? Do you think you might be more likely to call him again now you’ve caught up?

ellie2000

bcoz i use signal more that watsapp or phone msg, its hard to get a reply. signal doesnt hav anything they collect so defo recommend nd it free over wifi. i was scared of losing touch with family