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Death threats from my ex partner.

Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
So, it's not been nice, he was emotionally abusive towards me, he used to always compare me to other girls for battle scars on my body, he used to always say things that he knew would make me hate myself, ( which it did and he carried on).

I didnt leave because, I loved him and I just thought he'd change, but my friends kept saying to me no he won't change, etc but I thought they were just being annoying, but now I wish I had listened to them for when they first saw the signs of his abusive behaviour.

It's been a challenging time, with him etc because he used to start of with yelling at me, and then apologied saying I love you and then said I'm sorry 😞 but I know he didn't mean it, so I just froze for when he just used to shout and yell at me for nothing, I once walked down the stairs at he literally said get the fuck out of my life, you horrible bitch.

This past 2 years ( I think!) Has been the worst, he's gotten worse and worse, obviously I'm not with him anymore, but he just kept saying oh im sorry I just got problems please forgive me, but then he had the guts to then slap me, which I reported to the police but they didn't do anything, because apparently nothing was going on and apparently it wasn't a domestic violence, which it was and I tried telling them that but no they ignored me.

It got to a point I can't remember the date that he came home from work, and he literally shoved me, and I told him I've had enough, like leave me alone, he left eventually, and I never heard or saw him for about 2 weeks before he then messaged me saying, you won't get rid of me that easily, he started saying I'm gonna kill you, etc and I did not know if he was being serious or not, but I just don't understand why I deserve it.

I've emailed the police directly, and hopefully I'm safe

Sorry for the vent I apologise

Comments

  • awesomeminecraft6789awesomeminecraft6789 Deactivated Posts: 1,052 Wise Owl
    Hey @Leila


    I'm so sorry to hear that about your ex treating you like trash and giving you threats you don't deserve that at all and it's ok to vent and hopefully this time the police do something about it because that isn't right at all sending you good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 119 The Mix Convert
    Hi @Leila

    I am so so sorry you have had to go through and put up with this. There are lots of types of domestic abuse and just because the domestic abuse you have had to deal with has been mainly verbal and mental, does not mean it isn't worthy of being recognised as such. I really hope the police take this seriously and if they don't, there are helplines you can use, such as Refuge National Domestic Abuse Helpline (08082000247). Please don't blame yourself for not leaving sooner, it is such a difficult situation to be in and they manipulate you into thinking they will change, it is not your fault at all!

    Wishing you all the best <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Hello, @daisyella12 and @awesomeminecraft6789 , I emailed the police department yesterday evening, they got back to me this morning, and they are ringing me and 2pm, to hopefully discuss what's been going on, but it's not been nice, it's horrible. It's making me feel worthless, and I just want to live a happy life without everything.
  • awesomeminecraft6789awesomeminecraft6789 Deactivated Posts: 1,052 Wise Owl
    Hopefully after this, you can you deserve to be happy
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Hopefully after this, you can you deserve to be happy

    Thanks
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 79 Budding Regular
    @Lelia I'm so sorry you're having to go through this right now. Hopefully, the police will be able to do something to help. Good luck, hope it goes ok for you <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    @Lelia I'm so sorry you're having to go through this right now. Hopefully, the police will be able to do something to help. Good luck, hope it goes ok for you <3

    Thank you! I'll update you all, but I'm just so anxious haha 😄!
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Not long now, holy crap
  • awesomeminecraft6789awesomeminecraft6789 Deactivated Posts: 1,052 Wise Owl
    Good luck!
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 4,293 Community Veteran
    edited May 2022
    there's 'hertssunflower' if u getting death threats call the police.
    Post edited by JustV on
    Crazy mad insane
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 4,293 Community Veteran
    police dont care about vunerable ppl
    Crazy mad insane
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    ellie2000 wrote: »
    police dont care about vunerable ppl

    They seem to care, I'm on phone to them now. But I hear where your coming from!
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    So they've said they'll come tomorrow, as they are very busy but they said if he sends me anything, or comes to Mt house then to dial 999, and to make sure doors are closed etc, they gave me helplines too to who I can talk to before or if I need to tomorrow, I'm glad their actually listening to me, as before they didn't. He said that this is serious, and he could get up to 5 years in prison if convicted, so he's messed up. But, he also said to keep all photographs of the messages he's been sending, as that's evidence.

    But im really upset.
  • awesomeminecraft6789awesomeminecraft6789 Deactivated Posts: 1,052 Wise Owl
    Why What's up?
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Because of it all
  • awesomeminecraft6789awesomeminecraft6789 Deactivated Posts: 1,052 Wise Owl
    Understandable but things will get better from here on out hopefully!
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    😭😭😭😭😭
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,577 Part of The Furniture
    ellie2000 wrote: »
    there's 'hertssunflower' if u getting death threats call the police.
    That's a good resource @ellie2000 - I haven't heard of them before. To save everyone a click, here's the organisation: https://www.hertssunflower.org/herts-sunflower.aspx

    Also just a note that I removed the second half of your post Ellie, as it's important not to advocate violence for others, even if you're not being 100% serious. :)

    @Leila aware I already dropped you a PM but wanted to say here that it's good to see the police taking this situation seriously, and that you have that support around you.

    Keep us updated on how things go when you see them tomorrow. :)
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    The truth resists simplicity.
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Mike wrote: »
    ellie2000 wrote: »
    there's 'hertssunflower' if u getting death threats call the police.
    That's a good resource @ellie2000 - I haven't heard of them before. To save everyone a click, here's the organisation: https://www.hertssunflower.org/herts-sunflower.aspx

    Also just a note that I removed the second half of your post Ellie, as it's important not to advocate violence for others, even if you're not being 100% serious. :)

    @Leila aware I already dropped you a PM but wanted to say here that it's good to see the police taking this situation seriously, and that you have that support around you.

    Keep us updated on how things go when you see them tomorrow. :)

    Hey Mike,

    Thank you! You're truly amazing,

    Leila
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 119 The Mix Convert
    @Leila

    As everyone else has said I am so glad this is being taken seriously! I'm thinking of you, thank you for keeping us all updated :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    edited May 2022


    As everyone else has said I am so glad this is being taken seriously! I'm thinking of you, thank you for keeping us all updated :)[/quote]

    Thank you x
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    I'm struggling to deal with this all, honestly can't. 😭😓
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Update- they have spoken to me about my options and if i want to take this further ( standard thing ) yes, I do. So, they have said they'll keep in touch but they've asked me to email my screenshots of the messages, as that will help in the case, they also asked me to come in for a statement, which I am fine with but I still upset, I don't know what to feel, so ah
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,577 Part of The Furniture
    Leila wrote: »
    I still upset, I don't know what to feel, so ah
    You're not supposed to know what to feel here, @Leila. Receiving death threats and potentially going through a legal process are both not 'normal' things to go through, so it's okay to take it one day at a time and feel whatever you feel. Remember to be kind to yourself.

    It's reassuring to hear the police are working with you to move this forward. :) Do you know when you need to go in and give them a statement?
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    The truth resists simplicity.
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Mike wrote: »
    Leila wrote: »
    I still upset, I don't know what to feel, so ah
    You're not supposed to know what to feel here, @Leila. Receiving death threats and potentially going through a legal process are both not 'normal' things to go through, so it's okay to take it one day at a time and feel whatever you feel. Remember to be kind to yourself.

    It's reassuring to hear the police are working with you to move this forward. :) Do you know when you need to go in and give them a statement?

    Hey Mike,

    Makes sense, I just thought because of everything I'm supposed to feel a certain way, but I just feel alone aha, but I know I'm not!

    Yes, will be this week, Wednesday! So, not long but I'm not worried but just want him out of my life as he's caused me so much grief, that it's painful to fight you know?

    Thank you for carrying on supporting me,
    Leila
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Hey,

    Just a little mini update, I have the statement tommorow, I am of course nervous ( just hope I don't break down lol ), but I feel ok
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @Leila so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Sending you loads of support for tomorrow. Do you have someone going with you for support too?
  • Former MemberFormer Member A pretty deep soul 😅💕 Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    Lucy307 wrote: »
    Hey @Leila so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Sending you loads of support for tomorrow. Do you have someone going with you for support too?

    No, because I got no one around me who can come with me, so not really.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Sorry to hear that. How did you get on in the end? Sending loads of support 💜
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