Grief

Rainbow114

hi I was wondering if anyone would have any advice. I just lost my granny 2 weeks ago due to complications of covid and its been very tough to cope with. I was really close to her she was my 2nd mum who I always went to with everything and she would have the best advice. I feel like I've lost a part of myself and I don't know what do. I haven't been sleeping well since her passing and I can't really eat properly because it makes me feel sick. I've had to keep a brave face for the last number of weeks for my mum's sake because I'm her emotional support and she needs me more at the moment but it is so hard.
Would anyone have any good strategies that could help me? in terms of coping

Former Member

Hi @Rainbow114, I'm so sorry for your loss, it must be really hard for you at the minute. Well done for reaching out to us. Do you have anyone to speak to about it, any family or friends? Have you thought about making a memory box? You basically keep a little box of things that remind you of your granny and if you are having a bad day, you can look through all the items.

I've linked the NHS website detailing ways of getting help with grief, it suggests some self care things and also some websites if you need to speak to someone https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/grief-bereavement-loss/ . Well done for helping your mum and being there for her, but remember to take care of yourself too. If you ever need anything just reach out to the community and we'll do our best to support you.

Former Member

Hi @Rainbow114, I am so so sorry for your loss. Thank you for having the courage to reach out

@Dandelion has given you some excellent advice, grief is very difficult to deal with, it seems you have so much strength. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and it seems like you are doing such a great job already by supporting your mum. The way you feel now will not last forever even if it is hard to believe in this moment!

I really hope things get easier for you, we are all here for you, sending you love

Former Member

Hey @Rainbow114

I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss. Please remember that grief manifests differently, and you getting through each day is an achievement in itself. I also wanted to reiterate that you're never alone, and take all the time you need to heal and process this profound loss. @Dandelion and @daisyella12 have given you some wonderful advice. I would just like to add that this is a difficult time, and it's okay to feel what you're feeling. I know it can be hard when your, your mum's emotional support, but your feelings are still very important and valid. It may be helpful to speak to someone you feel safe and comfortable around about what you're going through.

I noticed you're struggling with sleeping and eating, grief can be very traumatic and lead to many deviations from your norm and routines. I would say to be kind to yourself during this time, and maybe start by eating things you love, your hunger will come back with time, but focus on eating whatever you can right now, and if it becomes worrying, I would strongly suggest contacting your GP, they may also be able to help refer you to professionals who can help you process this grief, and also with your sleeping.

Take care of yourself, this is a difficult time for you, and you deserve love and support. Please remember we're always here for you, and The Mix also has a counselling service, if this is something you feel would benefit you, particularly if you don't have anyone close to you where you feel you can discuss your emotions. I know these emotions may be difficult to cope with, but you and your feelings are very important.

Sending you so much love and strength right now

Ed_

Hey @Rainbow114 - sending you hugs and support right now, it is a lot for you to be holding. As others have said, you have done really well to reach out to us about the loss you have experienced with your granny. It sounds like you have been spending a lot of energy putting on a brave face, whilst also supporting your mum through this, it is totally understandable that you are having both physical and emotional reactions to this loss. The important thing to remember is that grief can present in a number of different ways and that you deserve to feel supported through this too.

On top of the other suggestions that Daisy and Dandelion have shared, there is a charity called Cruse that provide support around grief. They have a helpline alongside other services that can help you talk through your loss. The Mix also have a number of other services, including free counselling if you feel like that would be helpful. We of course are also here to talk anything through with you on the community too

Do keep reaching out, it is a lot to be processing whilst also supporting others going through the same, we are all here for you.

Laura_tigger82

Hi @Rainbow114

Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out. I am really glad to see all of the wonderful support already provided by our community. I just wanted to post to remind you that we are all sorry for your loss, are here for you, and care about you.

Honestly, there are no words we can say unfortunately to make things better. However, you don’t have to go through this alone. Grief takes time to heal, and I just want you to be patient with yourself and kind to yourself in this time.

If there’s anything at all that we can do to help, please just let us know! You have us as emotional support, along with all the other wonderful supports people have already listed. Another support that may also be beneficial is Winston’s Wish (https://www.winstonswish.org/)