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what do you do if the police and social workers don't believe you?

charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
in Sex & Relationships

WARNING: this content may trigger some users
Hey guys,

Last year i told the school about my brother sexually and domestically abusing me. they called the police around who got social services involed. Some of you reading this (@Brookee and @Anch0r33) may already be aware of this through previous comments. But what I'm asking is this. If you can't film the emotional abuse how do you prove that its happening. Sure a journal can help, but its just words not pictures.
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    okay so just to clarify it wasn't rape. It was more him trying to kiss me and revealing stuff im not sure a kid should ever see at 11
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    i wasnt sure whether to put this on sex and relationships or home so.....
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @charlieboyz This sounds utterly distressing for you, and I hear you and I appreciate you. Thank you so much for opening up to us. Unfortunately emotional abuse, as you've said can be really difficult to show as it's very complex. This is not your fault, and the police should always believe what you're saying, the fact they don't is very ignorant and frustrating.

    The NSPCC website has information on emotional abuse, if you feel this is an option you can contact them and they should provide you with support in getting the help you need to escape this environment. Here are some options for you to contact NSPCC:
    Call on 0808 800 5000, email help@nspcc.org.uk

    Sending you lots of love and strength right now <3
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    thanks wish i could use my phone in the house tough. my parentscheck over my shoulder on my laptop so i have to flick to revision, a lot of the time and if they found out ....
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    i just get so mad and end up hitting something which hurts. i dont recomend it
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @charlieboyz They do also have an online form you can do, if that would help you, or you can e-mail them if that's possible. Is there anyway you can contact the NSPCC whilst at school?
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    i could try the library but cause of covid the school librarian might be closing it and ict rooms arent open
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    how do you find the survey
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @charlieboyz I'm so sorry this situation seems so distressing for you. Hopefully, you may be able to access it somehow. If you google NSPCC emotional abuse, there should be a link to click on and there it will have the link to the online form :)
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    Bad news... im afraid the school laptop andthey blocked the online form
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @charlieboyz That's such a shame, I'm so sorry! Is there anyway you can e-mail them on this laptop?
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    nope not if i dont want them to read it
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @charlieboyz It may be a good idea to try and contact them when you're at school maybe through e-mail? Do you have a teacher that you feel safe around at all?
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    Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    Also contact Childline - increasingly the records there can be used as evidence in a court cases 
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    thanks its been helpfulf your support
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    I know it's late but im in tears aiting for a childline councillor to be free. My mum came in and asked to see what i was doing acting like she couldn't see that i was on childline even though she was right behind me. She was so close i could smell that she'd had a glass of wine. I told her to go away, its the 2nd argument in the space of 2 hours. THen she yelled and her spit went on my face. I feel so stupid. Why do i keep rising to her bait? what do i do?
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    just finished with councillor. Feel kind of worse cause they couldnt really answer my questions
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @charlieboyz How are you feeling today? just wanted to check in
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    Awful. My panic attacks have been really bad cause of one major argument with my mum, @Brookee
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @charlieboyz I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling right now! Do you feel able to express more about how you're feeling right now?
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    @Brookee It's like I really can't do anything right, you know. She promises one thing then five minutes later purposefully finds a fault in me so I can't have tat thing she promised me
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @charlieboyz That sounds really frustrating and distressing, I'm really sorry that this keeps happening to you! I'm really sorry you feel like you're not able to do things right by your mum. Do you have any coping mechanisms you can use to get out this frustration?
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    well, punching the air works, until I accidentally punch the wall. I've tried a pillow but it just doesn't feel the same @Brookee
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    Yeah, I seriously don't reccomend hitting a wall. It's been 2 days since I last did it, right? And it still hurts to clench my fist
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @charlieboyz I understand, often if the thing you're doing doesn't match the intention behind it i.e. angry and punching a pillow, it doesn't often give you the relief you need. I wonder, is there any chances of you taking up boxing or self-defence kind of clubs in your area? This may be a really great outlet for the emotions that home evokes for you
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    @Brookee the school do have a boxing club but you have to be selected for it by learning support and though I ask to be put on the list I never am. And the one locally you have to pay for and Mum makes me pay for everything so I wouldn't be able to afford it
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @charlieboyz Would your social worker be able to get involved in this? they may be able to get you onto the boxing list, or do you have a well-being officer at school that you can discuss this with perhaps? I'm sorry you can't do things outside of school due to finances, that's really unfair.
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    @Brookee I'll see if my social worker can help. I know my well-being officer at school won't cause she hates me cause a few years ago, in year 7-9, I'd try to get expelled by doing really bad things at school like stealing. I've stopped now thank god. Yeah, school's shit and home's like hell
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    charlieboyzcharlieboyz Posts: 178 Helping Hand
    @Brookee I only have to put up with this for another 7 months tho if I get accepted into the navy. I know it seems a long time and I'm hoping my social worker actually does her job but if worst comes to worst and I don't get put into foster care, the navy will provide for me. I just have to be positive don't I?
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @charlieboyz I hope that your social worker can help you, it's their duty of care to protect you from all of this. Your well-being officer also has a duty of care, and whether or not you've had problems in the past, shouldn't prevent them from protecting you from harm, so I'm really sorry this is happening to you! They should have discussed this behaviour with you, to get to the bottom of why you were acting in certain ways. You should be cared for and supported, and shown love consistently. I'm just going to say that it's your parents and social workers duty of care to help support you and provide you with a place that is safe and protective of you, so you shouldn't be in this position in the first place, it's very infuriating to read how negligent your social worker and well-being officer at school have been towards you, you don't deserve this at all!
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