Going through it again

Salix_alba_2019

I've started suppressing again so I'm getting things off my chest to help process my big emotions.

I do feel like self harming
I feel so sad that deep down I wasn't able to enjoy the good news
I'm having thoughts of ending it again
I feel horrific in my own body, but it's all my fault

The level of sadness I feel is heading towards making plans. I feel and odd calmness. Like there isn't any need to be heard and I'm okay with that.

independent_

Sending massive hugs @Salix_alba_2019 I can empathise with that feeling of sadness. It’s tough. Please keep talking about it, we’re always here to listen.

Stellaluna

@Salix_alba_2019 Well done for sharing these feelings.
Why does the thought of ending it make you feel calm?

It might be useful for you to write about your feelings on what lead to you feeling this way.
Surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends who love and care about you may help lift your mood. Maybe even chatting to someone close about your feelings might help you to see a different perspective on things, especially for the things that seem out of control.
Be kind to yourself. When going through difficult times it can be easy to feel shame and focus on the bad things whilst feeling numb to anything good.

Working through low moods is a long process and taking small steps each day helps. Some days are manageable, other days are worse. In difficult times, self-care is important. This can be doing little things for yourself like enjoying a warm drink, spending time with friends or doing a hobby.
Stay strong.

If you would like to have a chat with someone but remain anonymous, here is the link to the Samaritans https://samaritanshope.org/our-services/24-7-helpline/

@independent_ Thanks for your support.