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Scared about the thought of moving out

DistractionDistraction Posts: 449 Listening Ear
edited September 2021 in Home, Law & Money
Long story short, my dad said he thinks I should get a place of my own so that I can be annoyed with myself (if I'm so upset with how things are at home)

He's normally chilled about these things, so it's the first time he said something like this, we just moved into a new house and I love my room, I have a double bed and work space and two windows with views of just trees, it makes me so happy in the morning, I'd be sad to leave it, but that's the only thing I'd be sad about and the dog, I'd miss the dog so much, I'd be quite happy living by myself, I worked out that I could rent a flat I found for at least a year with bills included and have money left over and of course I'm only at college for another 5 ish months so I can do full time work once I've finished that, it's not too far from work and theres a train that goes right into the city close by, I also have a motorbike which is my own so I have transport.

I'm just scared to make the move and whenever this topic has come up with my step mum we always say I'm moving out but then we resolve it and I don't.

It's always been a touchy subject, I don't really know what to do.

If I did move out maybe we'ed all have a better relationship or maybe my dad and step mum will split up cos she'll be arguing with him more when I'm not around to take her sh*t.
Post edited by Distraction on

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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Distraction,

    Sorry to hear you are experiencing such a tough time. It is understandable that you are feeling nervous about moving out and feeling frustrated from relationship difficulties with your family. It sounds like your family could also be stressed because you have all recently moved house and that could be contributing to your relationship difficulties. Your family will always be upset to see you leave their home because they love you and care about you. However, it could help them to understand if you are able to show it is feasible for you, that you will be okay and they can visit you. Is there anything specific we can do to support you? Thinking of you and sending you hugs :)
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    jorgejorge Posts: 11 Settling in
    Hi @Distraction

    It is perfectly natural to be feeling a bit scared about moving out, I know I definitely was when I moved to my studio for my university, but it seems to me that you have everything figured out already. You already found a place close to work with social transportation and have already laid a plan for your future which is absolutely great to see.

    What I would suggest is making your feelings and thoughts heard by your father and step-mom and I am sure they would be more than happy to help you with whatever you need. It's not like you will be moving to another country.

    If you are still feeling unsure after that conversation maybe you should wait until you are done with college and have secured a job. That should remove any financial uncertainty you might have and make everything easier.
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    AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 1,666 Extreme Poster
    I'm so sorry things are so difficult at the moment for you @Distraction :( Some lovely thoughts shared here, which hopefully have been helpful <3 Just thought I'd check in to see how you're doing? xx
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    AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,858 Extreme Poster
    Long story short, my dad said he thinks I should get a place of my own so that I can be annoyed with myself (if I'm so upset with how things are at home)

    He's normally chilled about these things, so it's the first time he said something like this, we just moved into a new house and I love my room, I have a double bed and work space and two windows with views of just trees, it makes me so happy in the morning, I'd be sad to leave it, but that's the only thing I'd be sad about and the dog, I'd miss the dog so much, I'd be quite happy living by myself, I worked out that I could rent a flat I found for at least a year with bills included and have money left over and of course I'm only at college for another 5 ish months so I can do full time work once I've finished that, it's not too far from work and theres a train that goes right into the city close by, I also have a motorbike which is my own so I have transport.

    I'm just scared to make the move and whenever this topic has come up with my step mum we always say I'm moving out but then we resolve it and I don't.

    It's always been a touchy subject, I don't really know what to do.

    If I did move out maybe we'ed all have a better relationship or maybe my dad and step mum will split up cos she'll be arguing with him more when I'm not around to take her sh*t.

    Hey :) moving out is certainly a big decision! I find it interesting that your dad has mentioned this out of nowhere, normally people discuss moving out over some time, and you'd be the person to bring it up. Personally I'd figure out why he's brought this up now. If you're happy at home, then surely it's worth discussing about the possibility of staying? x
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