Songwriting lyrics PTW

LorryTruck

I write songs a lot, but I wanted to make a thread where I can post them, because I usually post them on the poem thread, but they're not really poems, so I want to post them here as songs.

LorryTruck

TW - it's about self-harm thoughts

Stained red

Don't you dare twist me into doing that again
You know that I'm reliant on you like a friend
You are silver but you stain me red
I don't like the thoughts you put in my head

I'm tired of arguing with you all of the time
I'm tired of fighting the thoughts you put in my mind
Stop telling me it's just going to be one line
You won't let my past leave me behind.

STILL I LET YOU STAIN ME RED
YOU NEVER LET ME FORGET
THEN YOU LEAVE ME TO MOP UP THE MESS
YOU TELL ME I'M FUCKED AND HAVE NOTHING LEFT
SINCE YOU CAME I HAVEN'T PROPERLY SLEPT
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND SOME KIND OF STREGNTH
SO YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME, TAKE YOUR LAST BREATH
TO GET YOU OUT MY HEAD, TO CHOKE YOU TO DEATH

(stained red
addicted to you
silenced ,
so badly used)

Don't tell me no one loves me
Don't make me blame myself like always
Don't tell me I deserve this
Because even if I do it I still feel worthless.

I'm tired of arguing with you all of the time
I'm tired of fighting the thoughts you put in my mind
Sometimes I want to tell people but you force me to hide
You force me to tell them I am fine (lies, lies)

STILL I LET YOU STAIN ME RED
YOU NEVER LET ME FORGET
THEN YOU LEAVE ME TO MOP UP THE MESS
YOU TELL ME I'M FUCKED AND HAVE NOTHING LEFT
SINCE YOU CAME I HAVEN'T PROPERLY SLEPT
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND SOME KIND OF STREGNTH
SO YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME, TAKE YOUR LAST BREATH
TO GET YOU OUT MY HEAD, TO CHOKE YOU TO DEATH

(stained red
addicted to you
silenced ,
so badly used)

You are silver but you stain me red
Hanging onto you like you're my only friend

SO YOU CAN STAIN ME RED
BUT I WILL MAKE YOU BLEED TO DEATH

You are silver but you stain me red
You will never let me forget.

(stained red
addicted to you
silenced ,
so badly used)

LorryTruck

Darling

"Hello darling"
"How you doin'?"
I'm OK, please excuse me
I'm insane, it's confusing
Trapped in a chain
Always losing

Waking up
to confusion
Taking up
this delusion
Feeling stuck
OK let's do this
Faking NOT
OK excuse me.

Time to focus
You don't know this
Always hopeless
"Thought you had this?"
Take no notice
They say I chose this
Trying to be honest
Almost forgot this

HEY OK
I kind of regret making you wait
It's clear you didn't want to stay
I'm sorry I made you feel out of place
HEY OK
This is the kind of life I had made
It's like I was born with a hand on a spade
I swear my grave was wearing these chains

It's great that I place
that I could go when receiving my hate
It's great that I had a plate
that I could fill when I'd anxiously wait.

HEY OK
OK "A FAKE"
"A PHASE"
NOT FAKE
AWAKE
REPLAY
INSANE
OK OK
SHUT UP
BE QUIET
HEY
WAIT!

It's time to prove I weren't pretending
It's time to stop all of this yelling
It's a long way I've been trailing
OK whatever, I've probably been failing.
"Yeah, it's not like you've been sailing"
I've just been trying to break outta jail, "ok then"
It's not my fault it's lies I've been chasing
I'm just one of a million cases

Why would I fake this?
I told you I hate this.
Tryna delay this
I don't want to take this

I've been replaying
Every word you've been saying
I just want to be OK
That's all I've got left to say

"Bye bye darling"
"I know you got this"
I knew you didn't care
Who cares? It's hopeless.

LorryTruck

Do you know what it's like?
To have a voice not worth hearing
Have you ever been so mad?
You've yelled at the ceiling
Have you ever cried so much?
You've stopped feeling
Have you ever been to the edge?
A mind away from leaving

Have you ever had no worth?
That you're a living curse
Have you ever hurt?
And thought it was deserved.
Have you ever felt like dirt?
A waste to the universe.
Have you ever felt worse?
When the lesson weren't learnt.

I have died a million times
And you want to know what they say?

"Attention seeking"
"Never feeling"
"Always needy"
"Would never leave me" ha ha

How would you know?
You are all so cold.
This is not a show.

LorryTruck

I have something to say before I go away
I just want to show you the load I carry everyday.
I just want to tell you I'm not OK.
But I'm scared you'll tell me it's a phase, that the pain will fade...

I'm tired of being the one broken all the time.
I hate that I'm weak and that I would cry.
These monsters take advantage of my life on the line
Every time they hurt me it still catches me by surprise.

THE DARK IS NOW MY ONLY HOME
THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I BELONG
THESE DEMONS HAVE SHOWN ME WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BROKE
NOW THAT'S ALL I KNOW. NOW IT'S ALL I KNOW.

How could you all be so cold?
How could you leave me on my own?
Why do you watch my life unfold?
Ready to leave me on my own.

I have something to say before I go away
I just want to show you the load I carry everyday.
I just want to tell you I'm not OK.
But I'm scared you'll tell me it's a phase, that the pain will fade...

(note: it only some lyrics some random stuff)

LorryTruck

No self-control
No self-control
No way out
No way out
No fucking soul
Just a black hole
This is not for show
This is not for show

Worn down to hopelessness
Wonder how it got to this
Some people think "what joke this is"
"she's fake like she always is"
Your accusations make me kind of pissed
This shit I deal with I cannot list
I constantly think I won't be missed
Sometimes I don't even want to exist

No self-respect
Always on the edge
There's too much time left
For me in my head

LorryTruck

Timeless

Timeless is this hell
This is mine to tell
Priceless is to dwell
This is mine to tell

Fighting to escape once again
Nothing has changed since back then (am I scared? Am I scared?)
This time I'm gonna pick up the pen
When is this going to be over? When? (Afraid, am I afraid?)

No one told me about the war I was going to fight in
No one told me life could be so frightening
No one told me I was gonna be destroyed within
No one told me nothing can brighten it.

TIMELESS IS MY HELL
(DONT YOU DARE LOOK AT ME WITH PITY ON YOUR FACE)
MENTALLY UNWELL
(DONT TELL ME I CANT BE REPLACED)
PRICELESS IS TO DWELL
(ADMIT THAT IMMA DISGRACE)
THIS IS MINE TO TELL
(TRAUMA OWNS MY FATE)

All I know is I'm scarred for life
My scars are in my mind
when I'm picking up the knife
My secrets aren't to find

No one told me about the war I was going to fight in
No one told me life could be so frightening
No one told me I was gonna be destroyed within
No one told me nothing can brighten it.

TIMELESS IS MY HELL
(DONT YOU DARE LOOK AT ME WITH PITY ON YOUR FACE)
MENTALLY UNWELL
(DONT TELL ME I CANT BE REPLACED)
PRICELESS IS TO DWELL
(ADMIT THAT IMMA DISGRACE)
THIS IS MINE TO TELL
(TRAUMA OWNS MY FATE)

THIS IS MINE TO TELL
THIS IS MY STORY

Timeless is this hell
This is mine to tell
Priceless is to dwell
This is mine to tell

LorryTruck

Draining

Do you remember how I was when I couldn't think clearly?
Do you remember how I was when I was beggin' these demons to spare me?
Do you remember the agony in my voice when I told you I wanted to be free?
But we both know no matter what that these demons will never leave...

(Lately life has been so draining
The words "I'm fine" don't stop me fading)

I didn't even know
That it was possible to get that low
Everything turned so slow
Submerged to drown below
I swear it always snows
And the winters always follow
And there's no place left to go
When my head's about to blow...

Do you remember how I was when I'd hurt so much I was numb?
Do you remember how I was when I fell apart and became undone?
Do you remember the weight of my sadness when I couldn't talk to anyone?
Because I couldn't help but think I was letting down everyone...

(Lately life has been so draining
The words "I'm fine" don't stop me fading)

I didn't even know
That it was possible to get that low
Everything turned so slow
Submerged to drown below
I swear it always snows
And the winters always follow
And there's no place left to go
When my head's about to blow...

(Lately life has been so draining
The words "I'm fine" don't stop me fading)

Will I ever heal?
Can't seem to find a way out
It hurts too much to feel
My silence is my shout...

I didn't even know
That it was possible to get that low
Everything turned so slow
Submerged to drown below
I swear it always snows
And the winters always follow
And there's no place left to go
When my head's about to blow...

(Lately life has been so draining
The words "I'm fine" don't stop me fading)

(Lately life has been so draining
The words "I'm fine" don't stop me fading)