Relapse

primrose

It's almost been 5 years since I self-harmed. Well, not anymore. Idk? I'm just being dumb

independent_

Hey @primrose

I’m really sorry to hear you relapsed, that’s never an easy thing to go through. Please know that it doesn’t mean you’ve failed - recovery is a journey after all and it’s not always simple.

Do you want to talk more about what’s been going on for you lately? I’m glad you’ve found us here on the boards, it’s a great place to get support and there are plenty of people who are always willing to listen to how you’ve been feeling

primrose

If it's not too much of a bother, it'd be nice to talk about all the things going on.. I'm thankful to have found this chatboard/chatroom.

I just feel so guilty for doing it. After so many years.. it went from omg yes (that feeling again) to omg no, what have I done. Now, I'm wanting to do it more, but I haven't.

Stephanie

Hey primrose

Welcome to the community, it's really positive you've found us.

Sorry to hear that you are struggling with this, and how it's making you feel guilty. Like independent said recovery is a journey.

We are always here for you if you want to talk about things

Supernova

Hope go see you talk more on the boards, and I hope it helps enough to keep your mind of things all the best to you

primrose

I appreciate y'all's support. It's difficult to move back to my hometown, which happens Saturday. I've been overly stressed and I really don't want to go back. It's a struggle for me to go back because of all the bad things that happened to me there. I haven't been back to my hometown for about 7 years now.

independent_

Hey @primrose no worries, you’re always welcome to get any support you need here. The Mix also run group chats every night from 8-9.30 UK time, they’re a great place to get support too. You can find them here: https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/group-chat

Moving back to a place where you have bad memories is understandably difficult, do you have any coping techniques you use to feel calmer?

primrose

I try my best to use good coping mechanisms, like listening to music or keeping myself busy so those bad thoughts/memories don't intrude. They just don't work all the time and I end up having panic attacks or lesser anxiety attacks. I have a support system... but they are all where I used to live, so it isn't the same....

primrose

@independent_ like... idk it is so overwhelming at times... I get so frustrated and so angry with myself, and in turn I take my anger out on others, which makes me feel so guilty

Christiaan

Hi Primrose. I'm just wondering how you are feeling today. Hope you are okay.

primrose

Hey, sorry for the late response.. I have been extremely busy and stressed because of moving -- unpacking, decluttering, cleaning, and trying to find a job). I am okay: I make it through the day, but just barely. I don't like it, at all. But, 'tis the life I live, at least for now... yay .-.