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Triggered ED

SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
in Health & Wellbeing
My sister came home From work and told me how Much she weighed. And it’s The same as me 😭😭😭😭😭 I am a lot taller. But I want to weigh less. Now so triggered my eating disorder feel liked I need to restrict to weight a lot less than her
~Probably dead now

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Please help me. I feel awful. My heart feels like it won’t stop sinking😭😭😭😩😩😩
    ~Probably dead now
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    She is branging to family about how we are the same weight. Like she is proud because I’m “skinny” 😭😭😭😭😭. Like fuck off I want to the skinniest in this house
    ~Probably dead now
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Wanna talk about some other stuff to keep your mind off? 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Idk how hard to get numbers out of my head now. Thank you
    ~Probably dead now
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit

    FML I just weighed myself and I’ve gained a bit of weight so I’m actually tiny bit heavier than her

    This is really going to set me back. Already having very bad eating disorder thoughts and I know I can get competitive with weight so yeah. I’m going to make myself lose weight 
    ~Probably dead now
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    It’s a shit life isn’t it.?
    i just exsist. Feel so much emotional pain in my chest and stomach. Just to go back to sleep again. 

    I thought I lost my phone today. You know how you usually get that crushing panic go right through you? I thought I didn’t feel much difference from how used to when I suddenly get that sort of panic like everyone else. I thought have a gone numb from everything around me. Then I realised it’s because I’m already feeling that crushing pains 24 7. It feel like intense emptiness that’s really painful. You’d think you’d get used to it. I fee like it’s less painful when I am around people because I’m focusing more on what other people are doing and their thoughts and my thoughts.  rather than how I am feeling. But I know it’s still there. When I zone out I feel it more. When I’m by myself still thinking I feel it so bad it makes me want to kill myself. 

    When I hurt myself it feels like it’s hardly there for a while. I’m more focused on the physical pain. I think that’s better because atleast it’s not hurting my mind and brain too
    ~Probably dead now
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