Triggered ED

My sister came home From work and told me how Much she weighed. And it’s The same as me 😭😭😭😭😭 I am a lot taller. But I want to weigh less. Now so triggered my eating disorder feel liked I need to restrict to weight a lot less than her

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Siena

Please help me. I feel awful. My heart feels like it won’t stop sinking😭😭😭😩😩😩

Siena

She is branging to family about how we are the same weight. Like she is proud because I’m “skinny” 😭😭😭😭😭. Like fuck off I want to the skinniest in this house

Former Member

Wanna talk about some other stuff to keep your mind off?

Siena

Idk how hard to get numbers out of my head now. Thank you

Siena

FML I just weighed myself and I’ve gained a bit of weight so I’m actually tiny bit heavier than her

This is really going to set me back. Already having very bad eating disorder thoughts and I know I can get competitive with weight so yeah. I’m going to make myself lose weight

Siena

It’s a shit life isn’t it.?
i just exsist. Feel so much emotional pain in my chest and stomach. Just to go back to sleep again.

I thought I lost my phone today. You know how you usually get that crushing panic go right through you? I thought I didn’t feel much difference from how used to when I suddenly get that sort of panic like everyone else. I thought have a gone numb from everything around me. Then I realised it’s because I’m already feeling that crushing pains 24 7. It feel like intense emptiness that’s really painful. You’d think you’d get used to it. I fee like it’s less painful when I am around people because I’m focusing more on what other people are doing and their thoughts and my thoughts. rather than how I am feeling. But I know it’s still there. When I zone out I feel it more. When I’m by myself still thinking I feel it so bad it makes me want to kill myself.

When I hurt myself it feels like it’s hardly there for a while. I’m more focused on the physical pain. I think that’s better because atleast it’s not hurting my mind and brain too