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Triggered ED

SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
in Health & Wellbeing
My sister came home From work and told me how Much she weighed. And it’s The same as me 😭😭😭😭😭 I am a lot taller. But I want to weigh less. Now so triggered my eating disorder feel liked I need to restrict to weight a lot less than her
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Please help me. I feel awful. My heart feels like it won’t stop sinking😭😭😭😩😩😩
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    She is branging to family about how we are the same weight. Like she is proud because I’m “skinny” 😭😭😭😭😭. Like fuck off I want to the skinniest in this house
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Wanna talk about some other stuff to keep your mind off? 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Idk how hard to get numbers out of my head now. Thank you
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit

    FML I just weighed myself and I’ve gained a bit of weight so I’m actually tiny bit heavier than her

    This is really going to set me back. Already having very bad eating disorder thoughts and I know I can get competitive with weight so yeah. I’m going to make myself lose weight 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    It’s a shit life isn’t it.?
    i just exsist. Feel so much emotional pain in my chest and stomach. Just to go back to sleep again. 

    I thought I lost my phone today. You know how you usually get that crushing panic go right through you? I thought I didn’t feel much difference from how used to when I suddenly get that sort of panic like everyone else. I thought have a gone numb from everything around me. Then I realised it’s because I’m already feeling that crushing pains 24 7. It feel like intense emptiness that’s really painful. You’d think you’d get used to it. I fee like it’s less painful when I am around people because I’m focusing more on what other people are doing and their thoughts and my thoughts.  rather than how I am feeling. But I know it’s still there. When I zone out I feel it more. When I’m by myself still thinking I feel it so bad it makes me want to kill myself. 

    When I hurt myself it feels like it’s hardly there for a while. I’m more focused on the physical pain. I think that’s better because atleast it’s not hurting my mind and brain too
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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