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New carer

lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
in Health & Wellbeing
So what I wanted to talk about was I’m looking after a friend who is in a wheelchair And she has  eating tubes and drinking tubes only just started caring for her tonight I’m  crying so bad 
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    Ahhh Lucy that sounds sooo difficult though It must be rewarding to be able to support and help take care of your friend ? Are there other people helping to take care of her? <3
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Liam said:
    Ahhh Lucy that sounds sooo difficult though It must be rewarding to be able to support and help take care of your friend ? Are there other people helping to take care of her? <3
    Only me 
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    How are you finding it @lucyking200 ? It sounds like your friend has a lot going on right now. It's too much to expect you to take care of her alone especially as you're only young yourself. Are her parents taking care of her too or are health professionals helping out?
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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    Sounds like quite a responsibility you have there have you had any support or any guidance to help you to support your friend as best as you can? Echoing what Liam said, It sounds like a lot for you to care for her alone! Is there anyone else helping to care for her? 
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Liam said:
    How are you finding it @lucyking200 ? It sounds like your friend has a lot going on right now. It's too much to expect you to take care of her alone especially as you're only young yourself. Are her parents taking care of her too or are health professionals helping out?
    Nope I’m the only one 
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Starlight said:
    Sounds like quite a responsibility you have there have you had any support or any guidance to help you to support your friend as best as you can? Echoing what Liam said, It sounds like a lot for you to care for her alone! Is there anyone else helping to care for her? 
    Nope and nope 
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    Do you mind me asking who was taking care of her before tonight @lucyking200 ?  :)
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    Oh right what kind of things do you do to care for her? Does she not live with someone who can help her? Must be tough 
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
     Where is her support network and how long will you be doing for? 
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Liam said:
    Do you mind me asking who was taking care of her before tonight @lucyking200 ?  :)
    She had her parents but her parents aren’t well now 
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Jellyelephant said:
    Oh right what kind of things do you do to care for her? Does she not live with someone who can help her? Must be tough 
    Nope so has to be me  I help her  get dressed etc and give her fluids and food though her tubes 
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Salix_alba_2019 said:
     Where is her support network and how long will you be doing for? 
    She Does not have one and a long time 
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    lucyking200 said:
    Liam said:
    Do you mind me asking who was taking care of her before tonight @lucyking200 ?  :)
    She had her parents but her parents aren’t well now 
    Oh that’s terrible she must be so stressed. Do both her parents have the same illness? Is it something that will improve or? X
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    edited June 2020
    Hey. 

    That does sount like a lot of responsiblity. But what about your foster family. Arent they helping ? Is it someone theyre fostering? How do you know her? Just thinking Maybe theres someone else would could support her too
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    This might seem random but what condition/illness does ur friend have? I have a few friends with chronic illness and if I have an idea of what she struggles with I can say what my friends do to help themself cope
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Shaunie said:
    Hey. 

    That does sount like a lot of responsiblity. But what about your foster family. Arent they helping ? Is it someone theyre fostering? How do you know her? Just thinking Maybe theres someone else would could support her too
    I left my foster family  and nope they aren’t and nope I know her as a friend 
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    lucyking200 said:
    Shaunie said:
    Hey. 

    That does sount like a lot of responsiblity. But what about your foster family. Arent they helping ? Is it someone theyre fostering? How do you know her? Just thinking Maybe theres someone else would could support her too
    I left my foster family  and nope they aren’t and nope I know her as a friend 
    Oh no are you ok? What happened with your foster family? Do you have somewhere safe to stay??? 
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    So where are you living now?  Sorry for questions just trying to understand more to better support you
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Jellyelephant said:
    This might seem random but what condition/illness does ur friend have? I have a few friends with chronic illness and if I have an idea of what she struggles with I can say what my friends do to help themself cope
    Cerbal palsy
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Shaunie said:
    So where are you living now?  Sorry for questions just trying to understand more to better support you
    With friend 
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    lucyking200 said:
    Shaunie said:
    So where are you living now?  Sorry for questions just trying to understand more to better support you
    With friend 
    Oh no I think you should tell your social worker what is happening because they would not want you to leave care to stay with a friend and care for her. You should have someone who will look after you. This seems illegal I hope you will speak to social services or another adult who can help you 
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Jellyelephant said:
    lucyking200 said:
    Shaunie said:
    Hey. 

    That does sount like a lot of responsiblity. But what about your foster family. Arent they helping ? Is it someone theyre fostering? How do you know her? Just thinking Maybe theres someone else would could support her too
    I left my foster family  and nope they aren’t and nope I know her as a friend 
    Oh no are you ok? What happened with your foster family? Do you have somewhere safe to stay??? 
    Not really just foster family decided  not to help anymore I’m staying with friend 
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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    Sorry but can I ask, why did you leave the foster family and is your social worker aware. Just making sure your safe, Wish you the best! <3
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Jellyelephant said:
    lucyking200 said:
    Shaunie said:
    So where are you living now?  Sorry for questions just trying to understand more to better support you
    With friend 
    Oh no I think you should tell your social worker what is happening because they would not want you to leave care to stay with a friend and care for her. You should have someone who will look after you. This seems illegal I hope you will speak to social services or another adult who can help you 
    I will speak to  my support worker  tomorrow 
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Starlight said:
    Sorry but can I ask, why did you leave the foster family and is your social worker aware. Just making sure your safe, Wish you the best! <3
    Because  I wanted to care for friend and. Foster family couldn’t look after me anymore  I will  ring social worker tomorrow when they open 
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    StarlightStarlight Posts: 1,436 Wise Owl
    Why couldnt they look after you surely that should be something that is discussed with your social worker? As long as you are safe for now and you make sure you ring your social worker in the morning. Please stay safe <3
    “I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
    I need you all night, come on, dance with me”

    * Shine like the star you are! *
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    Aw I am worried about you. Surely your foster family haven’t just decided a few days later that they can’t help?? And they would have had to tell ur social worker ?? I feel concerned that you have left care without ur social worker knowing and are now caring for yourself and your friend at the age of 16. That sounds too much stress and responsibility 
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Starlight said:
    Why couldnt they look after you surely that should be something that is discussed with your social worker? As long as you are safe for now and you make sure you ring your social worker in the morning. Please stay safe <3
    Yes I’m fine for now Yep will social worker  in morning 
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    lucyking200lucyking200 Deactivated Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    Jellyelephant said:
    Aw I am worried about you. Surely your foster family haven’t just decided a few days later that they can’t help?? And they would have had to tell ur social worker ?? I feel concerned that you have left care without ur social worker knowing and are now caring for yourself and your friend at the age of 16. That sounds too much stress and responsibility 
    Nope it’s fine and social worker was closed at the time and I’m 15 I will ring social worker in morning 
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    Oh sorry I didn’t realise because you wrote on your other thread you are 16. Are your friends parents looking after you? I know you said they are ill but wasn’t sure what was happening with them or if they are helping you 
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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