Learning to drive

Former Member

Hello all,

I had absolutely no idea where to put this thread so I'm gonna try here. @The Mix feel free to move it to where you find best suited. 


I want to start learning to drive but i have very high anxiety about it. I've put it off several times, made up excuse after excuse. But enough is enough and I really need to get my arse into gear (literally)

Does anyone have experience of learning to drive with huge anxiety and how you found it? 

I'd really like to hear positive experiences from others around learning to drive.
I feel like some encouragement is what I need to get me into a comfortable mindset of driving

Former Member

Hey @GreenTea, I learnt to drive almost two years ago when I turned 17. I have an anxiety disorder and at the time I was having a lot of panic attacks which made me put it off for a while. The first few lessons were daunting as I didn’t know whether that was going to make me anxious or not. To be honest I was alright with the driving part, it just made me anxious to have someone watching me all the time. But I think that really motivated me to learn quicker and to pass my test first time so that I could drive without being watched. 

I would say give it a go. If you have one lesson and really don’t like it, then you don’t have to do a second! If you decide early on in the lesson that it’s not for you then you can ask the instructor to take you home and say you’re feeling anxious, they’ll understand. 

But definitely give it a chance as being able to drive will give you so much freedom and independence!  

Former Member

Thank you.
I keep putting it off because I fear making myself look stupid with my anxiety.
And anxiety wise I go through everything that could possibly go wrong while driving

Former Member

@GreenTea You can always explain that to the instructor and I'm sure they will understand. Plus, they will be there to help you out and reassure which could help  

Former Member

I hope so.. all I keep thinking is ima crash and Kill someone. Like I legit have dreams about it

Former Member

@GreenTea Nah that wouldn't happen, the cars are duel pedals so if you are about to do something wrong the instructor can take over 

Former Member

Yep but that constant fear plays on my mind lol. I need an anxiety friendly and extremely patient instructor

Former Member

I get that @GreenTea I was lucky that my instructor was so lovely, you can always search around until you find the one 

Former Member

Yeh. Might ask around too.

Thank you

Former Member

Hi @GreenTea

I have always had a lot of anxiety around driving and had similar thoughts to you. I truly believed I just wasn't cut out for driving, because just the thought filled me with panic and dread. So I never thought I would be in the position to share a positive story about driving with anxiety...but here I am 

So I first started driving lessons when I was 17. I bought a block of 10 lessons, and I actually stopped after 9 because I recognised my mental health totally should have been a priority. I'm 21 now and I have recently gone back to lessons, this time with a new instructor. What I didn't know before is that it's really quite normal to try a few instructors. If the first instructor you have doesn't make you feel at ease, or you don't feel it's working out, it's absolutely okay to change. The instructor really does change the experience a lot. 

Anyway, this instructor I told her all about my anxiety around driving and previous experiences etc, and she just handled it so well. We spoke about how I could feel more at ease, and whereas I never spoke to my old instructor much in lessons because I was just so focused haha, with this instructor we chat the whole time just about life, gossip, to the point it feels like a little catch up with a friend who just so happens to be teaching me how to drive. Don't get me wrong, I still feel anxious around lessons, but absolutely nothing like I did before. This time round I am making progress, I can associate driving with some positive feelings not all anxiety, and I feel excited about the future prospect of driving. 

So I believe in you, I really do. Take your time with learning, find an instructor that understands how you feel and that you feel relatively at ease with, and go for it

Former Member

Hi, 

So I don't have anxiety but I have several medical conditions that meant it took me ages to be cleared to drive. And when I finally got in the car, i was a bit of a wreck because even I didnt know if I was safe to drive. Sweating, shaking, muscles clenching up, the works. But after the first few lessons, I started to feel better. The thing about it is definitely take the plunge. 

My biggest advice is to not be afraid to change instructors. Its okay to have one lesson and change because you don't get on well with them. If you have no confidence in your instructor, its hard to develop confidence in yourself and your driving. Definitely have an open dialogue with them about how you're feeling as well because they can then work the best way for you and help you the best they can. 

Driving is very freeing so definitely give it a go! Good luck, you'll be great!!

Former Member

Just a quick question before I reply to posts in the morning,

When did you do your theory test?

Former Member

I started driving when I was 17, I was so nervous about it. It took me about 40 hours, 10 months to pass. I did my theory maybe 6 months after I started learning. My driving instructor had a really good theory website that he gave us, so I would recommend asking your instructor if they have anything similar to help you. If not I think there is an app it costs a few pounds but I would definitely recommend it. For me to be completely honest I don’t really drive now as I am still to anxious about it even though I’ve passed my test, but I’m hoping to maybe start again soon. 

For my friends and my sister they said after the first few lessons they sort of got used to it and they absolutely love driving now, it definitely gives you more freedom. 

Good luck with everything and I hope you find an instructor that you like ❤️

Former Member

Thank you for all the comments. 
I've taken in your stories and feel less alone in terms of the anxiety around driving!

I spoke to people at work today who really helped and were encouraging, one person even offering to take me out in their car to practice if I wanted to! 

The whole idea is such anxiety provoking but I just keep needing to remind myself of the freedom that will come!

Former Member

Where's the best place to even start looking for cars?
Ovbs want a used one to try and keep costs down

Former Member

Perfect for this thread

Former Member

Awww bless, you'll be absolutely fine!

My advice would be to do it when you feel most ready and not to give yourself too much time to think

Former Member

thank you lovely!

i feel really ready now. i think being stuck in lockdown has made me realise how much a car would of been useful to go see people in bubbles

Former Member

Autotrader is a good place to start looking for second hand cars. Dealerships near where you live are also an option. I got my car from a second hand VW dealership near me 

Former Member

@GreenTea I can totally relate to your situation - I put off learning to drive for years (I'm 24 now!) because every time I would set off in the car I felt that it was control of me and I didn't feel safe which led to panic attacks, crying, shaking...and I basically accepted that I was never going to drive.

But when lockdown hit in March and the roads were completely empty I decided to face my fears and use all this extra time to finally started practising in my dad's car and doing different manoeuvres/roundabouts etc. I'm now more used to how the car operates and I feet a lot calmer and I'm hoping to start proper lessons once lockdown is lifted.

So my advice is to learn at a pace that is comfortable for you and find an instructor that respects and understands your anxiety whether it's family, friends, work colleagues or a professional instructor. And remind yourself why you want to drive in the first place! 

Hope that helps, let us know how you get on  

Former Member

Thank you.
Kinda gone back to being in 2 minds about this

Former Member

Oh damn. Thank you for all the advice Everyone. 

Skive

Think it’s quite natural to be nervous about learning to drive, and obviously this is exacerbated if you already ha e anxiety. But it’s worth it.

Certainly for me, who grew up in a rural area, it meant a great deal of freedom. Things have changed since I passed, the test is harder and I think it’s more expensive to get on the road, but don’t think it’s something you’ll regret.

find the right instructor and you’ll be fine.

Azziman

Honestly best thing to do is just go for it. People often worry about whether they can drive, how good they'll be etc, but truth is, you can't make any of those assumptions without actually doing it, spending time on it and working hard at it. If after all that you still can't, then you can deliberate over it, but you can't know until you try. So go for it, give it your best, and see how it goes!x

Former Member

Thank you. Gonnna try book lessons soon. 

Former Member

Update:

I've made a decision to wait. Wait until next year as I fear a covid spike this year and I don't want to start driving if I have to suddenly stop for ages. I'm going to wait

Former Member

Hi @GreenTea

I'm on my second go of trying to learn to drive as the first time I became too anxious and couldn't carry on and it wasn't until I felt ready to do it that the anxiety went. But second time round it actually has not been that scary.

Glad to hear you came to a decision in what to do about it, good point about all the uncertainty, it does seem easier to start next year as you wouldn't have the extra stress of covid