TW dealing with abuse & responses

Former Member

Almost a year ago I was abused by a partner but only came to terms with it in January. I wanted my best friend (at the time) to know because she was still friends with him and it made me uncomfortable. However when I told her about this she told me she couldn’t believe me and that she wouldn’t change her opinion of him because there is no evidence he did anything. Not only did she say that but she told her friend who is very close to him, and I recently found out that the second girl told my abuser. I confronted my friend about this and she told me he “deserved to know the things you’ve been saying behind his back” as if I was gossiping about him. 

This has caused me so much conflict and upset within myself. Obviously I am no longer in contact with anyone involved but it hurts a lot. All I keep thinking about is how the person I considered my best friend would accuse me of lying about something so serious and that she believes he did nothing wrong. I’ve also doubted myself about the abuse I’ve faced as my best friend doubting me makes me doubt myself. I feel heartbroken that I lost someone I was so close to and that she could ever accuse me of this.

im sorry for the long post, I’m just feeling quite alone and confused. Hope everyone is staying safe 

Former Member

Hi @Past User

I am sorry to hear about what you have been through. You absolutely always deserve to believed when it comes to situations like this. Please always remember that you have done absolutely nothing wrong - all you deserve right now is to feel safe and supported. 

You are not alone - we are right here for you. I am just wondering if you have received any support for this before? 

Former Member

@coc0mac thank you for the response! I am very lucky to now have a good support system with people who listen and understand me. However the feeling of discomfort about having someone I used to call my best friend call me a liar about something so serious is still there. I feel I must have done something wrong for her to not trust me, I know this feeling will pasa but in the mean time I’m trying to deal with the feelings 

Former Member

Hi @Past User
I'm sorry to hear what you've gone through, no one deserves to be treated that way and be called a liar about something like that, especially by someone you trusted. It can be devastating when a friend not only doesn't believe you but also betrays your trust, it's understandable that this will take some time to process and deal with.
It is important to remember though that it is not your fault and you have done nothing wrong. I'm glad to hear that you have a good support system now with people who understand you. 

Former Member

Hey @Past User 

I just wanted to send you huge hugs and reiterate what the other guys have said here. Please try and remember that you have done nothing wrong

It's sounds like a really upsetting experience to put your trust in someone that you felt so close to only to be let down the way you have. I'm really glad to hear that you have a good support network though. I think your friend has shown their true colours and although it will take some time, you are better off with a group of friends that will be there for you, trust and support you because you deserve it.