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Helpless

SienaSiena Inactive Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
Death sounds so peaceful. 

I am disgusting, unheard, contaminated, unwanted. Thats if i am anything. 

I dont have plans and i am safe right. But i feel like its 95% chance that i will kill myself in 2020. No one knows all of my problems. The more i try to fix it the worse its getting. I want a life buts it not possible and im fed up of being stuck in bed. No one would ever understand cause ill never tel anyone. There isnt even any help to cry for anymore. Nothint and no one can help this and id rather not be alive 
~Probably dead now

Comments

  • SienaSiena Inactive Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    96
    ~Probably dead now
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Aww Shaunie, that must be so miserable for you. It sounds like life feels very hard right now.

    I can assure you that you're very much wanted. I really value and adore you and so do/would so many others. I wouldn't be able to live with it if a special, lovely and loved person like you died and lost a chance of so many opportunities waiting for her <3

    Do you want to talk about your problems? Is the thing about being stuck in bed and no one knowing all your problems about the thing you don't want to say? There's never pressure but I promise you won't get a bad reaction from me, no matter what is it, and we want to listen and help.

    I know it might not help to hear, but you can have a life. Don't give up, keep holding on <3
  • SienaSiena Inactive Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    about the thing you don't want to say? There's never pressure but I promise you won't get a bad reaction from me, no matter what is it, and we want to listen and help.
    Yeah :(
    ~Probably dead now
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    about the thing you don't want to say? There's never pressure but I promise you won't get a bad reaction from me, no matter what is it, and we want to listen and help.
    Yeah :(
    <3 I remember you saying it might be improvable if you saw a doctor about it but that you're too hesitant, is that right? <3
  • SienaSiena Inactive Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    I want to be left alone to die
    ~Probably dead now
  • ChrisMChrisM Inactive Posts: 43 Boards Initiate
    edited September 2024
    Hi Shaunie,

    I'm sorry to hear everything feels so tough right now and that you feel things get worse when you try to fix them.  I agree with @Past User that you are very much welcome on The Mix Boards. Does it help to have somewhere online to vent?

    Being stuck is bed is no fun but you can still keep talking and lots of people who would like to offer their help. Our Crisis Messenger  service is contactable by text, 24/7. You can text 'THEMIX' to 85258 and talk to them about anything, any time. 

    Take care of yourself.
    Chris M
     
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • SienaSiena Inactive Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Whats the point
    ~Probably dead now
  • SienaSiena Inactive Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Sorry thank you. 

    I have counselling tomorrow/ today. Thankfully
    ~Probably dead now
  • SienaSiena Inactive Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Had counselling today. Very hard. We spoke about my dreams. A lot of my dreams are about toilets or not being on the ground. / floating. So talked to me a lot about grounding

    and after every season she asks me if i can make it next week cause she would be very sad if i killed myself and can only help if im alive. Shes really nice and seems to really want to help. So i think shes one who doesnt think im disgusting
    ~Probably dead now
  • Former MemberFormer Member Discussion Boards Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    It's good to hear that your counsellor is so nice @Shaunie , she seems like a really wonderful person. How do you feel counselling has gone for you so far? You mentioned that your last session was very hard for you but hopefully you've found it somewhat helpful too. <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member ☕🌻☕ Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Nobody here things you are disgusting shaunie 💜
  • SienaSiena Inactive Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you green tea & riley
    ~Probably dead now
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