Self harm

Lubna

How does self harm make you feel afterwards? It would be good to hear how it makes people feel afterwards.

Kathleen07

I've self-harmed before. I feel good about it afterwards tbh, but I also worry about getting an infection or someone seeing it and that kind of stuff. How does it make you feel?

Lubna

Yeah it makes me feel a lot better afterwards too.

Shaunie

I self harm sometimes. It doesnt make me feel better at all. 

I only do it cause i hate myself and think i deserve it. But dont enjoy it. Otherwise i wouldnt do it. Its like when i hate myself a lot. Its overwhelming and need to put that hate somewhere. And then it numbs those feelings for a bit knowing i did what i deserve. But i wouldnt say i feel better

Han93

Hi @Lubna 

Just popping this Mind page about self harm for you to look at if you need any help at all: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/helping-yourself-now/#.Xa3tUG5FxPY

X

Stephanie

Hey Lubna,

How are you doing?

We are here for you

Lubna

I'm doing ok still in an inpatient unit but hopefully getting discharged on Thursday.

Gemma

Hi Lubna, I'm glad to hear that you are doing ok in the inpatient unit. How are you feeling about possibly being discharged on Thursday?

Lubna

I'm feeling safe whilst I stay at a friends house kind of but if I stay at mine I'm suicidal.

Gemma

I'm really glad to hear that you have somewhere where you feel safe. Are you staying at your friend's house after you are discharged on Thursday?

Lubna

I'm not sure yet.

Lubna

Things arent going to get better so I might aswell be discharged tomorrow.

Lubna

The consultant said that I can stay for another week if I want to but I feel like someone else much worser than me could have my bed. So should I discharge myself?

Riley

Hey @Lubna I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much at the moment. It's nice to see all the support people are offering you on here and I hope you find it helpful.

If you feel like you want or need to stay in the inpatient unit then I don't think there's any problem with you doing so, you have just as much right to be there as anyone else who might need support. Even if there are people worse off than you it's still important to look after yourself and do what's best for you.

How have you been feeling since you posted here yesterday? I hope you keep us all up to date with how you're doing since I know a lot of people on the boards care about you.

Lubna

I had a horrible night lastnight I wanted to stop at my mums overnight. I didnt know until 6pm so they wouldnt let me because I have an infection on my arm and been self harming so I said I wanted to go on ground leave which I was escorted so I called the taxi outside and the person who escorted me called the ward and someone came out to do a risk assesment but then they said they cant tick suicidal behaviour and let me go so I had to be dragged back onto the ward. This morning the most horriblest nurse is on (I know her from previous admissions) I swear to god if she comes near me I'll end up smacking her head off the wall and I'll end up in a PICU.

Kathleen07

I'm sorry you had such an awful night That doesn't sound nice for you.

Did the nurse come anywhere near you in the end?

Lubna said:

Things arent going to get better so I might aswell be discharged tomorrow.

I have faith in you, things truly can get better. We're here if you want to talk through anything, sending loads of hugs

Lubna

No the nurse hasent come near me but I walked past the nursing station earlier on and she starred at me and smirked.

Lubna

I'm really struggling to cope but I dont want to ask this nurse for some prn. Handover is at 7:30.

Shaunie

Glad youre getting support and are safe

Lubna

Urghh the horrible nurse is on again today and I'm not allowed out because the doctor has put me on a doctors holding power😡

maddie050

Hey @Lubna, i thought i'd say how self-harming makes me feel (as its the title - lol). But i think you're more important, so i hope you are doing well.

I'm sorry that the nurse on shift is someone you don't like - which theres no problem in not liking someone.. i have the same problem with a teacher at school who picks on me. When i had crutches because of my broken ankle, she just looked, gave me the most dirty look and laughed to herself... I dont know how she got the job.

It probably isn't nice being in a secure unit, it must feel like inprisonment. I've never been in a ward, so i don't know what it's like, but at least you are getting help  .

I would go crazy if i was in a ward, since i don't particularly like being in inclosed spaces, especially when a door is locked, and i'm trapped inside it. 

But, i do hope you are doing fine. Here if you need to talk. 

-Maddie

Lubna

Nah ofc you should say how self harm makes you feel? Sorry my topic maybe needs changing but I can't do that.

I got to see the consultant tomorrow to see if his going to put me on a section 2 from the section 5.2 I was put on Friday (doctors holding powers) or discharge me or keep me as informal but I want to go home now but I tried to slap the staff Friday night and also self harmed pretty badly so I dont know if the consulant will let me go home.

I feel very suicidal in my room so I keep going out of my room and I'm going to have a shower in a minute to try and distract myself for 10minutes.

It dosent feel like improsoment but it's not the nicest🖤

maddie050

I hope it goes well, i also hope you get what you want .

Have a nice shower 
Take care.

-Maddie

HJS3

I self harm mostly all the time. I do it because something in my head tell me too. 

Lubna

I do it because a person in my leg tells me too.