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Friends death
One-in-a-million
Posts: 606 Incredible Poster
Sunday night I received news that my friend had unexpectedly passed away. We aren’t sure exactly what has happened to him yet but think it was something to do with his heart. Again we don’t know.
I can’t seem to grasp it he was 23 how does this even happen? I haven’t spoken to him for a while but I can’t actually believe it’s happened. I haven’t cried over it, at least not yet but and it sounds stupid I have to keep checking his Facebook page just to confirm that it’s actually happened but it still doesn’t seem to make it anymore real. I’ve been carrying on like normal but I just doesn’t seem right!
I can’t seem to grasp it he was 23 how does this even happen? I haven’t spoken to him for a while but I can’t actually believe it’s happened. I haven’t cried over it, at least not yet but and it sounds stupid I have to keep checking his Facebook page just to confirm that it’s actually happened but it still doesn’t seem to make it anymore real. I’ve been carrying on like normal but I just doesn’t seem right!
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Comments
Grief is a very strange feeling, and it affects everybody differently. There is no proper single way of dealing with it. I found the best way to get through it was by surrounding myself with other friends who also knew these people and talking about them, though that might not be for everyone.
It's also the first time I properly understood the purpose of a funeral or service, whioch I would encourage you to go to, as it really helped me to deal with it.
ab loosing him just not how I feel about it.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Regardless of how well prepared we are for it, death is always shocking, especially when it's someone so young. It sounds like you're really struggling to comprehend your friend's passing. There's nothing silly about that at all - I think that's a totally natural, normal part of the grieving process.
I like what @Skive has said about attending your friend's funeral service. Sometimes getting that closure and being with other people who meant a lot to your friend can help with acceptance. Everyone grieves in different ways though - it's totally okay to not go, and remember him in your own way instead.
Keep taking care of yourself and talking as much as you feel able x
Sorry for your loss - I'd like to pass on my condolences. We're here with youx
Much love
It's great that you were able to talk to your mum about losing a friend, sometimes admitting what's going on is a step in the right direction!
Is there any particular reason you struggle to talk about your feelings? This is a very important part of the grieving process and can often make you feel much better in the long run. Have you considered talking to someone anonymously about feelings to help you with this? For example, Papyrus offer support and advice to people and you can call them at 0800 068 4141.
If not, would you consider writing down in a letter how you are feeling about this whole situation? Sometimes writing down your feelings is a great way of expressing your emotions within your own comfort zone. This way, you have the option of giving the letter to someone in the future, i.e. your mum.
I hope you are doing well and sending all of the love
So sorry to hear about your loss - sending you so much love and support
If you'd like to talk to us in any more detail please remember we are all here for you. And remember that everybody deals with loss differently - absolutely any way that you feel is perfectly okay. We will never judge you, and you can take all the time you need to feel all the feelings you need to feel.
I found some advice about coping with bereavement from the NHS here. It's okay if you don't want to read it just yet - but it's here if you ever do want to.
Take good care, we are all here for you x
It's positive that things are going ok right now, how did meeting your other friends go? Did it help to have somebody else you can talk too?
We are here for you, and care about you
It's good you have a friend who was also a friend of his so you can both support each other. It can often help to share memories and thoughts of a friend with people who also knew them. I hope it goes well, and we are here for you.
It's good to hear you are connecting with a friend who was also his friend, surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding people may be really helpful at this time
Take good care. Thank you for updating us and always remember you can talk to us about anything throughout this - we are all here for you
I'm sorry you've had to go through something like this, and I'm happy thing's are starting to get better for you!
I lost one of my best friend's a couple years ago, even now I constantly have him on my mind, but when I look at a picture of him I can't help but smile and reminisce about the times we had.
The first couple months are hard, but things will get easier. The memories of your friend will stick with you forever, and whatever great things you do in life you'll also be doing it for him.
I hope you find peace and continue to remember the great memories 😊
Sometimes with grief it does take a while until we fully accept what's happened, and give ourselves a chance to think things over, so its completely okay that its taken you until now to accept it.
Have you got any support around you at the moment or someone that you could speak to about this, its understandably something really tough to be going through, but you aren't alone.
How are you feeling today?
It's totally normal for grief to come in waves after the death of a loved one. You might be feeling fine one moment and sad the next - and that's completely okay! It's a lot to process all at once but I hope the funeral gave you the opportunity to say goodbye and share good memories of your friend with the people he cared about.
@The Mix has a really great article here about dealing with bereavement. I especially wanted to draw your attention to this passage:
It's important, like @Jade09 mentioned, to give yourself time to mourn - there's absolutely no rush for you to be okay.
If you feel like you need extra support dealing with this, or you'd just like to talk to someone, Hope Again is a website that helps young people talk about grief. They offer peer support, as well as a support service via email at hopeagain@cruse.org.uk
Please let us know how you're getting on