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Friends death

One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 465 Rampant Poster
Sunday night I received news that my friend had unexpectedly passed away. We aren’t sure exactly what has happened to him yet but think it was something to do with his heart. Again we don’t know.

 I can’t seem to grasp it he was 23 how does this even happen? I haven’t spoken to him for a while but I can’t actually believe it’s happened. I haven’t cried over it, at least not yet but and it sounds stupid I have to keep checking his Facebook page just to confirm that it’s actually happened but it still doesn’t seem to make it anymore real. I’ve been carrying on like normal but I just doesn’t seem right! 
Kathleen07honeyxxMikeButterfly23chubbydumplingJade09davcr0ckHan93

Comments

  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,685 Postholic
    I'm so sorry about your friend :(

    It sounds like you're going through a lot of shock and denial and I understand. It doesn't sound stupid at all that you keep checking his facebook. It's not fair that he's gone and at that age. Your feelings are valid and it must be really hard for you, to process and in general x

    Take care of yourself and let yourself feel however you need. Sending all my love and hugs <3
    Mike
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 14,994 Part of the furniture
    Sunday night I received news that my friend had unexpectedly passed away. We aren’t sure exactly what has happened to him yet but think it was something to do with his heart. Again we don’t know.

     I can’t seem to grasp it he was 23 how does this even happen? I haven’t spoken to him for a while but I can’t actually believe it’s happened. I haven’t cried over it, at least not yet but and it sounds stupid I have to keep checking his Facebook page just to confirm that it’s actually happened but it still doesn’t seem to make it anymore real. I’ve been carrying on like normal but I just doesn’t seem right! 
    Sorry to hear about your friend. When I was in my early twenties I lost a number of friends in road accidents. It was my first real experience in dealing with the death of people I knew and loved. 

    Grief is a very strange feeling, and it affects everybody differently. There is no proper single way of dealing with it. I found the best way to get through it was by surrounding myself with other friends who also knew these people and talking about them, though that might not be for everyone.

    It's also the first time I properly understood the purpose of a funeral or service, whioch I would encourage you to go to, as it really helped me to deal with it.

    Mike
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 465 Rampant Poster
    Thank you for your kind words guys it means a lot tend not to talk about my feelings a lot but I have spoken to my mum
    ab loosing him just not how I feel about it.
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 314 Rampant Poster
    Hey @One-in-a-million <3

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Regardless of how well prepared we are for it, death is always shocking, especially when it's someone so young. It sounds like you're really struggling to comprehend your friend's passing. There's nothing silly about that at all - I think that's a totally natural, normal part of the grieving process. 

    I like what @Skive has said about attending your friend's funeral service. Sometimes getting that closure and being with other people who meant a lot to your friend can help with acceptance. Everyone grieves in different ways though - it's totally okay to not go, and remember him in your own way instead.

    Keep taking care of yourself and talking as much as you feel able x
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 514 Extreme Poster
    Hey,

    Sorry for your loss - I'd like to pass on my condolences. We're here with youx

    Much love <3
  • rachel_annrachel_ann Posts: 18 Moderator
    Hey @One-in-a-million I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It must be such a difficult time for you. 

    It's great that you were able to talk to your mum about losing a friend, sometimes admitting what's going on is a step in the right direction! 

    Is there any particular reason you struggle to talk about your feelings? This is a very important part of the grieving process and can often make you feel much better in the long run. Have you considered talking to someone anonymously about feelings to help you with this? For example, Papyrus offer support and advice to people and you can call them at 0800 068 4141. 

    If not, would you consider writing down in a letter how you are feeling about this whole situation? Sometimes writing down your feelings is a great way of expressing your emotions within your own comfort zone. This way, you have the option of giving the letter to someone in the future, i.e. your mum. 

    I hope you are doing well and sending all of the love  <3
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 183 The Mix convert
    Hi @One-in-a-million

    So sorry to hear about your loss - sending you so much love and support :heart: And a massive well done for speaking out about how you're feeling - that shows courage and I'm so glad you felt able to speak to us :heart:

    If you'd like to talk to us in any more detail please remember we are all here for you. And remember that everybody deals with loss differently - absolutely any way that you feel is perfectly okay. We will never judge you, and you can take all the time you need to feel all the feelings you need to feel. :heart:

    I found some advice about coping with bereavement from the NHS here. It's okay if you don't want to read it just yet - but it's here if you ever do want to. 

    Take good care, we are all here for you x
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 465 Rampant Poster
    Thank you guys, things seem to be going ok right now. I’m meeting with another one of my friends who was also a friend of his Xx
    SkiveMikeKathleen07coc0macchubbydumplingJade09
  • StephanieStephanie Posts: 319 Super Moderator
    Hey one in a million,

    It's positive that things are going ok right now, how did meeting your other friends go? Did it help to have somebody else you can talk too? 

    We are here for you, and care about you :heart:
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" 

    - Albus Dumbledore 
  • GemmaGemma Posts: 18 Moderator
    @One-in-a-million I'm sorry to hear about your friend. It is always hard when someone you know suddenly passes away, especially when they are so young. 

    It's good you have a friend who was also a friend of his so you can both support each other. It can often help to share memories and thoughts of a friend with people who also knew them. I hope it goes well, and we are here for you. 
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 183 The Mix convert
    Hi @One-in-a-million

    It's good to hear you are connecting with a friend who was also his friend, surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding people may be really helpful at this time :heart: I really like @Gemma 's idea of sharing memories with each other - it's good to have each other. 

    Take good care. Thank you for updating us and always remember you can talk to us about anything throughout this - we are all here for you :heart:
  • Hey @One-in-a-million;

    I'm sorry you've had to go through something like this, and I'm happy thing's are starting to get better for you!

    I lost one of my best friend's a couple years ago, even now I constantly have him on my mind, but when I look at a picture of him I can't help but smile and reminisce about the times we had.

    The first couple months are hard, but things will get easier. The memories of your friend will stick with you forever, and whatever great things you do in life you'll also be doing it for him.

    I hope you find peace and continue to remember the great memories 😊
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