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Feeling bad. trigger

ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 4,420 Community Veteran
in Health & Wellbeing
I was on the swing early this morning and I was singing Gethsemane to myself. No-one was around so I decided to take my top off alittle bit cold but being on the swing helped warm me. Depression make u do strange things doesn't it, walking back I was fully clothed. I feel bad coz I'm back home. Being back home makes me feel that I don't wanna be here anymore. plz send hugs
Crazy mad insane

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Sending hugs

    sounds like you feel more free away from home?
    how are you feeling now?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 4,420 Community Veteran
    the park where I got raped is gone now. I don't go there anymore :) I don't feel normal:'( tht prevents me getting on the bus to stuff wat I enjoy. 
    im booking holidays which is gd.
    Crazy mad insane
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,612 Part of The Furniture
    Just a heads up @ellie2000 that I removed your last post, as it contained some pretty graphic description of self-harm and it's important we don't discuss methods. If you want to say you self-harm, a good rule is to stick to using the term 'self-harm'. If you say that, we know you're in pain and we can do our best to help. :)

    Does anyone away from The Mix know about your self-harm or the sexual assault you went through?

    As @Shaunie said, it sounds like you're feeling liberated being away from home. Feeling depressed or anxious, or really any kind of mental ill-health can indeed do weird things to us, and sometimes you can find enjoyment or relief in unusual things! It's awesome that you've started booking holidays and living a little for yourself - is it somewhere abroad or closer to home?

    ellie2000 said:
    I don't feel normal:'( tht prevents me getting on the bus to stuff wat I enjoy.

    When you say you don't feel 'normal', what does that mean to you? What would make you feel normal?

    It's good to see you posting and continuing to reach out. You're doing great Ellie. :)

    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    The truth resists simplicity.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Great you booked hoildays since thats somewhere away from home and maybe a break?  Hope you enjoy it

    Keep posting if is helping and letting us know how we can support you. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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