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I think Teddy (my dog) needs better owner/s

SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
edited March 2019 in General Chat
I really love teddy but feel like he deserves a better life. Its very sad but feel like i cant keep on top of looking after him. He needs grooming a lot which can be hard to keep on top off and he sometimes gets matted which is my fault. He stil wees round the house & hes nearly 2 and must be my fault. I sometimes forget to feed him, he deserves a walk everyday and for longer but doesnt always happen. And i can not train him to be a better dog outside. He is clearly scared & barks at every thing he sees trying toget at it and peope think he is visous but yeah hes not so dk how to train him i watched a load of youtube stuff and still confused and other day he tried to bite a dog that was off the lead and he tried to bite a strangers hand but i could tell if it was play bite. And everytime he goes in the garden he barks at everyone walking past and soo annoying as my neighbours probs hate us now. & when hes in the garden it takes forever to get him in as he doesnt wanna come back in.  

Anyway my family could help and sometimes does since hes seen as a family dog but they dont do that much to help. And he is really good dog inside the house is just when hes outside & the fact i cant keep ontop of what he needs as im too sad to even look after myself properly sometimes. But do care about him & also hard to afford things like grooming. So as sad as it is i really think he needs better owners who will keep ontop of his grooming and train him better. He is getting groomed today but i am actually scared that they will think he looks neglected as some matts in him which idk if is okay

:'(
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Heyy

    I don't think you sound like a bad owner - you sound pretty loving <3

    My guinea pig constantly gets matts as she's a long hair and hates being groomed (blame the place we got her from...). When she sees vets I worry about them thinking she's being neglected, too. But I don't think your pet having matts is neglectful - as long as it's not causing them any bother, or you're at least trying to sort it out.

    And my mom's dog isn't the best trained either (my mom's rubbish with dogs). At every single noise she barks her head off. Me and my dad were talking about how to train her the other day, and he suggested water spray? How it works if you don't know, is you get a spray bottle of water, and when your dog barks, you spray some water on their nose. Sounds a bit cruel tbh - but it doesn't hurt, just annoys them. And a thing my mom said, was to start off with training them to bark. First, you command them to bark, and when they do you give them positive attention and treats. Then, when they're trained to bark on command, you start commanding them to stop barking (and when they do you give them the positive attention/treats), and eventually they'll stop barking on command. That one sounds weird to me but there you go :/ So I thought I'd suggest those for the barking stuff - though you did say he's scared, which may be a different situation.

    I'm not sure how to handle the weeing problem - you can probably train him out of it fine though, in some way.

    I can totally understand and sympathise with being too sad to properly look after him sometimes :( Again, have had stuff like that with Ruby. There was a spell of time last year, I think it was, where I wasn't spending enough time with her due to my problems (which are still as bad/even worse but I'm back in the routine now).

    It depends on how you feel as to whether you rehome Teddy or not (such a cute name btw - cute dog too, having seen pics of him on the boards :)). As I stated just now, I understand not feeling able to look after him or not give him a good life. It's okay if you think he's better off being rehomed - if anything, that shows that even if you couldn't take care of him, you're a good pet owner 'cause you care about and want the best for him.

    I just wanted you to know that it sounds like he has a loving carer, and you're not alone in feeling your pet deserves better.

    Wishing you well either way bud, and hope the grooming goes okay,

    <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Have you heard of BorrowMyDoggy? It sounds like you don’t want to give Teddy up but it might do him some good to socialise a bit - you can sign up on there and other dog lovers can look after him as often as you like. I’m on there as a borrower as I wouldn’t have time to own a dog and I look after little Arlo about once a week. His owner is retired and enjoys time to herself sometimes. 

    Just in case that’s helpful! 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you @kathleen0172 and @Lucy307

    i feel better since he has been groomed and has no matts. I just need to try and keep brushinf him and stuff. 
    And he just had a walk with his new lead that has no pull. And it actually works. And he didnt pull and he wasnt so out of breath. So maybe can try to train him while on walks as maybe will listen to me. 

    Ive not heard of BorrowMyDoggy but will def look more into it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 52 Boards Initiate
    @Shaunie what breed is your dog? Mine Matt terribly because they don't malt  I was drawn to the beautiful curls when I chose what breed I was going to get but soon regretted it as the time and effort it takes to groom every day especially when they just want to play and won't sit still for a brush. It always ends up with a trip to the groomer and them being cut very short and not looking as pretty as they should. Going for walks is lovely and I like being outside with them but every season has it's problems due to alerts of plants/seeds/brambles getting stuck in the fur. I think I have gone off point here lol (That's what our fur babies do haha) anyway don't get yourself down as you clearly love your dog. Have you tried getting a trainer in one to one this could help reduce the bad habits also I used a bark collar that vibrates when barking and it worked almost instantly I think the brand was clicks I now only use it once in a while on Bella when she gets too loud and she soon stops again 

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Ah well tbh i am glad having matt doesnt mean i am a bad owner cause sometime happens and hard.
    Hes a bichon frise crossed shih tzu. So he has curly hair too that doesnt moult. 


    How does the collor work- how did it know when it vibrate ? Does the collar harm them? Sorry too many questions ah
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 52 Boards Initiate
    When the collar is on it hears the "woof" and then vibrates (It's not an electrical shock and is perfectly safe) if you hold it in your hand and woof into it it will go off and that's how you know it is working. Pet shops like jolleys and pets at home sell them. I need to dig ours back out as ours has started to bark at nothing again(Just being bossy I think) you don't need to put it on all the time as obviously dogs will bark to protect the home but it definitely helped having it on at times they were expected to be quiet (during the night) x
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I got him the collar thank you for suggestion is working. But i feel bad like i am telling him in cant speak ahh
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,202 Part of The Furniture
    Maybe he might be anxious or stressed about something - I know you can get collars that have something in them to help distress them Umm there called Adaptil collars I think and each one lasts about 3 months - we have them for roxi and you can get this spray pet rescue remedy that you can spray by where they sit etc to help keep them calm 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Yeah thank you maybe will try that for ever get money or get my sister to get it aha

    but now i think about it having the no pull harness and anti bark collar isnt that bad cause it makes him less stressed because hes not constantly on gaurd when in the garden and realise he doesnt need to guard it. Cause i just took the collor off him and put him in the garden loads of people went by but he did nothing when before he would get really stressed out. And the harness helps because he doesnt pull on the lead and surely constantly pulling on a lead would hurt his throat
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,908 Extreme Poster
    You're an amazing doggy mum Shaunie and I know Teddy loves you lots! x
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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