Don't know what is wrong with me.

Allie

Hello,

So I have BPD was diagnosed in 2016. At the moment I keep thinking things have happened but they haven't, events and conversations. I keep thinking staff here are plotting against me, I disappeared for 3 days because of paranoia. As for family I look at a picture of my mum and I know she is my mum but I don't recognize her. And lastly, I keep having thoughts of hurting others and dreams about it.. I also like holding sharp objects/things that can cause harm. I had a moment the other day and chopped off all my hair, didn't think about it I just did it.

Anyone have any advice or know what could be going on? I won't go to the GP or mental health team as they don't treat me the best which is to do with my BPD diagnosis I think.

Italia

Hi @KaydenK

Thanks for sharing how your feeling.   It's not an easy thing to do, and I am glad you felt you were able to share here. 

It sounds like things are quite confusing for you at the moment, and your not sure of what is real and what isn't real?    You have done the right thing reaching out, these things can be super tricky to find your way around. 

Kayden, it sounds like you might need to talk to someone.   I am sorry to hear that you don't like the way the GP or mental health team treat you.   Do you want to tell us a bit more about whats been happening with them?

For now is there anyone else you can speak too that you trust?  You're not alone in this, there are people out there who will listen and help you through this.    

In the meantime, if you want some more information you could call Mind's info line. 
This line offers information on different types of mental health problems, where to get help, advocacy and may be able to find some services in your area.  They are open from 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).

Mind Info Line Details:
0300 123 3393
info@mind.org.uk
Text: 86463

docready.org could be another resource which will help.  It has a lot of information about going to the doctors, and a list you can prepare and print out to take with you.  It sounds like you have a lot going on and being able to write it all down and get your thoughts organised before going to speak to someone could help.  

Finally, if you do feel like you may harm yourself or someone else, then please call emergency services on 999, or text THEMIX to 85258 to get through to our crisis messenger service.  

I hope this helps, your doing well  
Italia