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Mixed emotions

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I really need your advice please, but it might be long, but please read!
I have been with my boyf for 2 years now. I wont go into 2 much detail, but...he had a child with his ex that the gave up for adoption when they were 15. He reckons that they werent anything serious-they were together over a year.He told me about this when we had been together a few months. I took it fine, although it really shocked me. Maybe i should have finished it then, but i didnt. Anyway he used to always go round and see his ex, which i was fine with and i didnt suspect a thing would go on. I still dont know if anything did and i probably will never find out, but lately its bugging me. I used to be so calm and let him do what he wanted till he started taking the piss. He would sulk if i wanted to go out with my freinds, so i wouldnt end up going and then some nights he would ring me after he had finished work and say he was going out. It has always been one rule for me and another for him.
But now i dont know what to do. We got engaged over a month ago and i feel things have got worse. He never texts me like he used to (it just lets me no that hes thinking of me and i love recieving texts off him), he cuts all his phone calls short and he is always putting in extra hours at work. Hes constantly moody and he over reacts at stupid things, ive told him this and he just says that he gets more angry about things because he has a lot more to lose now that were engaged.
I just dont understand whats going on with us anymore, i feel like i wanna break up but im so scared that i wont be able to deal with it and it'd kill me to see him with another girl, because i feel like hes mine.
I mentioned about his ex because im finding mysellf searching for clues about her because ive never met her, he used to go on about how nice she was until i got upset about it. I ask people if theyve met her, i was even looking in his room for something because he once showed me a hair clip of hers that hes kept.
Am i being paranoid?i cant finish it if im not 100% but i no im not 100% hapy either. I really need any advice please xx

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont know, i think if it's getting close to breaking up completely you should talk to him about everything you put in that paragraph - afterall you're getting married; thus you're going to spend the rest of your life with him. You don't wanna do the wrong thing so talk to him about it all and say you want to talk about it seriously......


    good luck hun xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're not happy then it's not worth carrying on, in my opinion.

    I was in a similar situation and finished it; although it was incredibly hard I knew it was the best thing I could do for both of us and now I've met someone I truly love I couldn't be happier.

    My advice would be to break it off - you're far too young to be engaged. Date around and have fun...in time you'll meet someone far better for you who'll treat you better :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But what if i dont find anyone better? and im left regretting finishing something that is so special to me, yet is hurting me at the same time. Im just so confused, i no i need to talk to him, but it whether or not i can find the courage to say what i really feel, cause i find it difficult to be open about my feelings. Thanks for the replies so far x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    everyone fears not finding someone who will match up to their ex's. its not a reason to stay in an unhappy relationship. there are millions and millions of other men in this world. you might not meet someone straight away and it will be hard to start off with but surely thats better than the situation you are in now? there is an underlying reason for his behaviour and you need to sort it out. if you can't, well you know what to do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It seems to me that the only reason your staying with this guy is because your afraid of being alone and not finding someone. But surely, even though it's a hard decision to make, if your unhappy in the relationship wouldn't it be better to cut the ties now before things get even worse (like you start to arrange the marriage, or even get married) If your having doubts now about him they'll never go away, they're just increase, especially if you can't tell him how you feel. If you've been with somebody for 2 years yet you still can't tell them how you feel then surely that's not a good sign. You say it's lots of 'little stupid' things that bug you about him, but if these things are really making you unhappy then they aren't small things. I know it's really difficult but you both need to sit down and discuss things and get everything off your chest, maybe he's having the same doubts too and needs to get some stuff off his chest as well, he sounds like he's stressed about being engaged too. I hope everything works out for you, whatever you choose to do.

    xx
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