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Problems at home

wolf10wolf10 Posts: 24 Cool Newbie
Long story short my mum's a manager and I work for her as a cleaner, there were 2 cleaners here before who I use to talk about stuff with but never bad stuff about my mum, recently they got fired and decided to say to the Boss of the place that I said that my mum is an alcoholic (which I didn't I said she drinks like a normal person would)  and that she has a criminal record (which I NEVER mentioned) In secondary school I use to talk about my mum a lot about bad stuff and how she makes me feel when she found out.....she wasn't really happy.... so yearsday she came into my room shouting at me about how much she hates me and how much I ruin her life if I don't like living here then I should move out..... I tried explaining to her what I said and she didn't believe me..... I do a LOT for my mum I'm like a second mum in the house my life is basically College, Cleaning, looking after kids, cooking and working I barely ever have time to myself so what mum said hurt like fuck I was in tears nearly whole evening and night yearsday if it wasn't for my boyfriend staying round then I would of had packed my stuff and gone slept on the street or somewhere but he wouldn't let me we ended up going to his mum's (first time meeting her) I've calmed down as we stayed there for about 2 hours talking then we went shopping and came back home about 12am. This morning my mum wouldn't even look at me.....i don't know what to do she doesn't believe me and it hurts being there I talked with my boyfriend about this and he's moving back into his mum's house and said I can come and stay with him as long as I pay half of the rent which I can easily do but I said I'm going to give it a month to blow over if it doesn't by the time I need to start college again then I'm going to stay with him.

Im 17 in August, I have a part time job but planning to quite once college starts and finding a new job as the current one is too much work that I mentally can't do, once college starts im planning to get bursery so I have some form of money to pay for the rent whiles helping around the house of course but I just don't know what to do..... Please don't say just talk with my parents  cause that doesn't work mum is that type or person if she believes something then she will stick by it many times I got accused of many things which were faults and I never had an apology.... I want to move out and focus on my college but is that the right move? 


  • wolf10wolf10 Posts: 24 Cool Newbie
    I forgot to mention I also have a friend who's parents said they can take me in any time when needed for free but I'll be speaking with him about it later and get the full details
  • wolf10wolf10 Posts: 24 Cool Newbie
    Above me friend can't take me in and today mum got angry at me as I decided to go out and clear my head without saying anything or cleaning the house first so I have 2 weeks to find a place..... question is what help apart from bursery at college can I get with money wise as I might quite my job at the end of this month as I seen a job which will suit me but it's less hours and only £200 a month 
  • thomthom Posts: 9 Newbie
    Hi there,
    This seems like a difficult situation you've been put into, especially on the financial side of things.  I understand that money is an important factor when it comes to deciding a job, but also important is how it will affect your quality of life. Perhaps working less hours at the expense of a lower salary could be beneficial for you? After all, you're still earning an income for your living arrangements on top of the bursary from your college, and fewer hours means that you'd get a lot more free time which you said you really needed earlier. It's for you to decide, whichever option works best for you, feel free to take it.
    I'm sorry you have to go through this right now, even more so during a sensitive time of your life. If you need more specific help, you can go to Shelter's website, which can help you in the event of having to leave your home - england.org.uk/housing_advice/housing_for_young_people (sorry, you'll have to paste it into the search bar; I can't post links just yet)

  • EyepatchEyepatch Posts: 233 The Mix convert

     I was just wondering, is it possible for you to speak to the boss and explain that your colleagues were frustrated at being fired and lied about your mum out of anger? They might understand and could contact her to explain that you didn't say those things. 

    You could also try writing your mum a letter explaining what happened, or even contact your old colleagues and explain how much they have hurt you and your mums relationship. They might come forward and admit they lied, but this really depends on them. 

    Have you mentioned to your collage how much work you have at home? It might be worth letting them know you support your household income, they might be able to give you extra time on exams because of your situation. 

    I really hope you manage to patch things up, @thom has send you a very helpful link for if you need a place to stay, its worth checking out just in case things at home become to difficult for a while. 
    "Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 
  • Kasa2103Kasa2103 United KingdomPosts: 124 The Mix convert
    This all sounds very hard for you and it can affect other people a lot. If you don`t tell someone about your problem, it will never get sorted out. Just like at train stations, see it, say it, sorted. That`s what it takes to improve your situation. College mixed with this job as a cleaner mixed with all of the problems at home can create a hectic situation which could get worse over time like when you said about when you possibly have to sleep on the street. Hugs for you. I am sorry if none of this is understood by you. Have you tried searching up safe places to stay? If not, I would recommend that as well. Also, speak to someone at your college and see if you can get emotional support and extra time on exams like @Eyepatch mentioned.
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