Hi, my name is ellie

ellie2000

i haven't had the best life

Aoife

Welcome to the boards Ellie, it's lovely to have you here  

When you're ready feel free to make a thread to talk about how you're feeling. We're all here to listen and support you

Siena

Welcome Ellie,hope you find support here

ellie2000

I'm sitting on my bed nd going over the night I got stripped, tied up and played with, 3yrs ago. they hav a normal life now With a gf. does it still matter. I feel very rough wen I think about it. I think about wat I could have done to avoid it 

Aoife

Hey @ellie2000

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. It sounds like you've been going through a really difficult time and have been for a while. You've taken a really positive step to reach out here about everything that's going on. You've shown such strength

I know you mentioned that you have thoughts about what you could have done to stop this from happening. I just wanted to say that what happened to you isn't your fault at all. It's not okay for someone to do this, no one deserves this to happen to them. It sounds like this person is still in your life at the moment which can make things feel even more difficult. Have you told anyone else about what happened to you?

I just want to reassure you that things can and will get better. Everyone here is so lovely and supportive, and there's also lots of other organisations out there who can help you through this too.

Please don't be afraid to reach out for support because you're not alone in what you're going through. You've taken a great step here today to let us know what happened.

Stay strong Ellie  

- Aife

ellie2000

I told my sister who's in Canada atm and she said she wanna rip their bits off

ellie2000

I distract myself by playing keyboard and bio shock and saints row help very much 

[Deleted User]

Hi Ellie, welcome to the boards.

People here are highly supportive and will help you, just as they have been so supportive to me when I was going through the shredder.

The one thing I have learnt during my recent serious illness is to pace myself, and be patient and that means taking the day and living it. Torrow will be your next challenge. I keep a journal now. I write the hours of each day, and in doing this I can see a pattern of self-care.

Things can and will improve, but they don't happen overnight. This is because during our down times we can self-care even if that means playing your keyboards. Music is soothing, and can also be creative. Perhaps you could compose a song and write your lyrics into it. This in itself can be seen as self-care.

Take a day at a time, like I am doing. For today, the strength our Lord provides is sufficient, but you must ask of Him.

Best wishes,

Mandy

ellie2000

What sort of stuff do u put in a journal 

[Deleted User]

ellie2000 said:

What sort of stuff do u put in a journal 

Me? All sorts.

0 to 10 how I feel (10 being the happiest)

The weather (blue skies, stormy, cloudy)

I might write about my little family, or Sophie who I look after.

A prayer for friends

A prayer for myself

I'll even write in a recipe for the day

And,

Then I'll decorate the journal's page with a dried pressed flower or two.

I bought a bag of organic mixed dried pressed flowers. They are made by Cutogain (or Majome ) and you'll find then on a.mazon. These are pressed flowers for floral decors and home arts.The colours are so beautiful.