CMHT initial assessment?

Maisy

Last month, I got really unwell. 

I was dealing with a lot of personal and familial stress, and somehow, I just completely shut down. Like I was unable to look after myself for a week and had to be reminded to do stuff. Time didn't mean anything- it could've been lunch time and I wouldn't have thought to make myself lunch. I was on autopilot messaging people, and getting really confused. I felt not in control of myself, more like if I was a child again. I have an online counsellor and she thinks I dissociated to cope with the stress (she believes I have PTSD, and what was going on was quite triggering for me).I've never been diagnosed and try to avoid self-diagnosing but in the past when I get anxious or stressed, I either have panic attacks, or feelings of numbness and unreality. 

Anyway, everyone was worried about me as I clearly wasn't myself, so my mum made a doctors appointment, especially seeing as schizophrenia runs in my family and I was worried about it being psychosis (I was kind of aware that something wasn't right, but couldn't really control it).

The doctor said I was likely depressed and shut down as a way of dealing with things. But given my personal history as well as mental illness in my family, he decided it was best to refer me to the community mental health team.

The assessment is booked for this wednesday, and have been talking to my counsellor and she is reassuring me things like I don't have to talk about things if I don't feel comfortable, and it's best to remember that they are there to listen and help me, so I should be telling them how I feel, what support I want etc. I try to keep that in mind but I do feel conflicted at times. I've probably struggled with things like depression and anxiety most of my life, and have never had help. It's only been within the last few years that I realised I couldn't cope and sought online counselling. I thought I had been managing and doing okay by myself, and find myself thinking others have it worse or what I went through wasn't that bad/I feel like I'm exaggerating. So it's conflicting now being referred to CMHT (and looking online, realising it's for more complex problems) when I never had help before. My problems started in childhood but I kept it to myself so have never gone through the system like CAMHS etc. 

Just looking for reassurance, advice or how it went for you (if you feel comfortable enough to share). Thanks. 

Former Member

Hi Maisy,

My only advice from my own experiences of the CMHT is just be brutally honest. They can't help you unless they know exactly what is going on. I've only recently found myself under the care of the CMHT, however it was a real fight and struggle to get support. I have been referred, in total, 3 times to them. The first time I had an assessment and they decided I wasn't ill enough. The second time they didn't even give me an appointment for a new assessment. They only started to listen when I verged on yet another suicide attempt. So what I can say to you is just be honest with them. My problem was I was afraid to open up about my trauma and the abuse I've suffered (which I knew was the root cause of my mental health problems). I don't know what has happened to you or gone on in your life but if you feel like you need support just be honest and you will find yourself (hopefully) being given what you need. Hope it goes well.

- ShatteredSecrets 

Maisy

Sorry to hear it's been a real fight for you to get support from them! 

Yeah, I'll definitely try being real honest with them, even if the trauma might be a bit difficult to talk about. 

Thanks for sharing. 

Former Member

Hey Maisy,

How did your assessment go yesterday?

- ShatteredSecrets

Former Member

Hi Maisy,

Thanks so much for sharing your story, it sounds like you've been going through a lot - not just recently, but throughout your life struggling with these issues. It must've taken a lot of courage to seek help for what you've been dealing with.

I just wanted to check in with you since your assessment took place on Wednesday of this week. You might find it helpful to share your experience of how the initial CMHT assessment went, if you feel comfortable telling us. Would you be willing to give us an update on your feelings post-assessment?

Best, 
Greta

Maisy

Thank you @Past User and @Past User

The assessment went well. It was less of an assessment and more just a chat really. The NHS worker I saw didn't seem concerned about psychosis, so that's good. He did ask about flashbacks though so I'm guessing that he wonders about the possibility of me having PTSD as well, even if he didn't say it. He just asked how I had been feeling recently, and he looked over my notes from the doctor's referral so he knew about the past trauma and things that happened recently. He is going to put me on a list for a 6 week small group course for anxiety and depression, then another shorter course for preparing for counselling and once I have done those, I can go back and ask for a referral for in person counselling. 

I'm feeling better these days and am glad I'll be having extra support, so it's been positive overall

Azziman

Hi Maisy,

Glad to hear that the assessment went well, and that you're feeling supported!x

Much love

Siena

Thats so great that youre going to be getting support and that you reached out. 
.its hard to get that sort of support. I hope the list isnt a long wait.
Hopefully things will only start improving from now on:)

all the best

Former Member

@Maisy,

I'm so glad to hear that this has been a positive experience for you! Sounds like this has been a great step in the right direction.

Greta