Post of the Month November - *Winner announced*

SarahR

Happy Friday everyone! It's time for Post Of The Month, November edition.

yellowseahorse was the winner of POTM October for their great post on World Mental Health Day. Congratulations!

There's some great posts to vote for this month and we've still got some tote bags and keyrings to give away to the winner.

Have a good ol' read and vote for your favourite. Thanks everyone who voted last month!

Here are the posts:

**helen** nominated BubblesGoesBoo for this post in Your first drunk experience...

BubblesGoesBoo wrote: »

think the most important thing we've all learnt is never drink spirits on your first proper drinking night :P

butterfly123 nominated Al0neInMusic for this post in I don't want to feel like this anymore - issues with eating and weight

Al0neInMusic wrote: »

Not fact hun...there's no such thing as fact in beauty, its in the eye of the beholder.

ninaballet nominated butterfly123 for this post in Really not doing well

butterfly123 wrote: »

Oh hun it sounds so difficult for you right now

I don't think anyone can say "things will get better". That's not me having a dig at you at all AngelFace, I used to say exactly the same thing all of the time! Over time I've learnt that it's better not to essentially guarantee that someone will definitely feel better as that could lead to a huge amount of added bad feelings (which would be nobody's fault).

At this point Hiccup, and in your situation, I think it's worth pointing out that things can get better. I know that must be incredibly hard for you to believe and right now you probably don't even want to believe that which is absolutely okay and allowed.

I realise this might be a hard question to answer so please don't feel pressured to but I was wondering what is it, if anything, that's keeping you here? What's that one thing in your life that seems immensely important, that one positive thing? I was also wondering, where would you like to be when you're 30? What would you like your life to look like? Try and imagine it as though you weren't experiencing all of these painful thoughts and feelings.

Finally, and I know I say this a lot but I will continue to do so - I think you're a strong person, you have an immense amount of strength which is so clear to see every single day that you continue to battle this. I also think you're such an important person and I for one would certainly notice if you vanished.

Hang in there you - you're doing so, so well *hug* *hug*

butterfly123 nominated *rach* for this post in Performance Prep. and Serious Speaking

*rach* wrote: »

Hi Aleaf!

What is it that scares you so much? Have you done any presentations before? What's the presentation about? (20 questions out the way, sorry!)

It's great that you've been able to post about your presentation dispite the fact it's making your nerves even worse! well done! :thumb:

I just want you to know that you're defo not the only one who gets so nervous about puvlic speaking and presentations. I remember having a huge meltdown before, during and after any presentation I was faced with at school, and like you, felt sick (and was sick) just thinking about it.

But!!...on the positive side, i've gone from that, to now speaking in front of 100's of people at a time through my own choice!! (mad I know, but it's actually enjoyable!!)

Everyone is different and so what works for one, may not always work for another, but it's always worth trying different things to find out what does work for you

Firstly, think about before the presentation:

- try not to focus on it too much as the more you think about it, the more a lot of different thoughts will race around in your head which will then lead you to being worked up unneccesarily (easier said than done I appreciate)
- make sure you're ready, prepared for it as much as you can be and have learnt any lines etc (the more ready you are, the more confident you'll be which will make it so much easier for you) *ensuring you've had a good nights sleep and something to eat&drink before hand will have a positive impact too!*
- remember that it's just a presentation (I don't say that light heartedly honest! I know presentations are a big deal but just think, what's the worst that can happen?)

Next think about during the presentation:

- Remain focused (as much as possible, I know it's tricky! I always find it helps to find a spot on a wall or an object in the room and focused on that as much as possible)
- Breath (It may sound silly, but the more you panic, the more likely you are to make mistakes/forget what you're saying)
- Be positive (something I found tricky, but it's defo helpful to repeat over and over again "I CAN DO THIS" "IT WILL BE OK")
- Eye contact (If you're like me, when you make eye contact with someone, you panic even more?! I know during a presentation you're supposed to make eye contact with people and talk to everyone, not just one person...BUT...just scan the room, make sure you move your head and as long as you make it look like you're engaging with the whole room, you can just look up from time to time! Remember, focus on that one spot on the wall or object in the room)

And after your presentation:

- Celebrate!! :hyper: (it's over!! you did it!! well done!!)
- Try really hard to not think about it too much (the more you try going over what you just said/did, the more you'll get yourself in to an unnecessary panic. You're most likely your own worst critique but remember, you're not grading yourself! What's done is done and can't be changed (only learnt from!))
- As said above, take on board any feedback you get from your presentation, and instead of beat yourself up about any criticism (if any!) learn from it in order to better yourself next time

I always tried to treat it like I was having a conversation with a friend about whatever topic the presentation was about. It helped me to relax. I also revised any lines as much as possible to make sure I knew what I was talking about. Just before going in to the room for the presentation is when I panic most and that's when I find it helpful to really focus on my breathing, reminding myself that it IS okay and that I CAN get through it. Remember, the audience aren't going to eat you or anything!! They want you to do well :yes:

Good luck with it :thumb: Let us know how you get on and if you have any specific questions about it, then let us know! I have copied you in some links to a few websites/pages that you may find helpful too - worth a skim read if you have time!

Sorry for the essay and a half, I do hope this is helpful even if only a little bit!!

http://www.anxietycoach.com/fear-of-public-speaking.html

http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/types/public-speaking-anxiety (scroll down a bit to "How to reduce public speaking anxiety)

http://www.skillsyouneed.com/presentation-skills.html

butterfly123, baa ram ewe, frankipanda and yellowseahorse all nominated Emmalee for this post in relatively happy/good news thread

Emmalee wrote: »

The fact is, this time last year I was stuck, in a horrible cycle of ending up and out of hospitals, constantly with the police and I had litreally no respect from anyone at all, Services didn't want to support me because I was 'hard to manage' and 'out of control' I hated my life, and I thought I wanted to die, I genuinely thought "I want to die". The one day, shortly after the death of my sister, I realised just how I needed to change, My sister at one point was my reason to recover, now she was gone..I needed to recover, I tried my hardest to, I started taking my medication properly, Chucked everything out of the house that I thought would harm me, and started engaging properly with my support worker, and my 'close friends'.

Now, I have an offer to study a foundation degree at university, I didn't think this would ever be posisble, I have an A* at AS. and I'm now living in a completly different city with my partner, Now when I see the police going past me in a car, I know they don't hate me..Things are so much better for me now, Being honest I do have my horrible days, but now I know how 'good' I've been, I know the bad days won't last forever..

I guess when people say "it gets better if you try". I didn't realise, one day I'll be on the greener side of the grass!