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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    £286 it cost 😓
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Full on bitten through my tongue 😭
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I feel really tired and down.

    There hasn't been a day in the past year, or even several years, where my mind hasn't tried to make me kill myself endlessly. It's impossible to see light a lot of the time and the glimpses I can catch aren't enough.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I want to give up and end it all. I've told myself I'll get therapy or meds to see if that helps but I can't help feeling like there's no point. I have no importance in this stupid world.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited December 2019
    Doctors appointment in 10 mins. Really cant be botjered to wait and dont wanna pay for more med. glad i only live 3 mins a way
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    :'( does anyone wanna speak with me. Lol im so sad and lonely 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Im soooo sad it hurts. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Need to get up & go town for christmas presents & spemd money thats not even mine
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Dads being transferred to a different hospital, again 😓 tomorrow he will be even with me with 3 hospitals in one week 😂 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    BubblesGoesBoo said:
    Dads being transferred to a different hospital, again 😓 tomorrow he will be even with me with 3 hospitals in one week 😂 
    Hugs x
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited December 2019
    Everytime i see a picture of the railway tracks on ny facebook. (I follow my local news) My heart literally stops cause it could be someone got hit and was. Sooo sooo sad :'(. Been 2 recently in this week i think Not enough support esp near christmas and new year
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    It's amazing how a fake laugh and smile can trick someone into thinking your doing okay . 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Just want to fucking die at this point
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Crying. I'm such a fuck up. Just want to hurt myself at this point. 
    Why can't I do fuck all right 😭
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I'm at breaking point and nobody cares. Why do I always help everyone around me but when I need it, nobody cares.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I want to end my life but I can't do that to my pets and family. I just can't see anything to look forward to. I want everything to stop. 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited December 2019
    .
    Post edited by Kathleen07 on
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    My dad's in surgery 😓😓 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Monday really tested me and I'm still exhausted from it, I haven't had suicidal thoughts in a while and it hit me like a ton of bricks, I was so worried about dad's op and he didn't even have it in the end 🤷 work handled it so well though, I phoned my team in the morning and they warned me to stay at work or they would get the police to do a welfare check, now my plan was so leave work once my work was done and go somewhere other than home to act on the urges, but my manager wouldn't let me leave (I would of just walked out but I already feel like in on thin ice cause of the amount of times I've come home recently, and if I did survive I was worried I wouldn't have a job) but instead my manager gave me wee jobs to do that would keep me distracted and she urged me to take my prn quitiapine (at 2pm) so I managed to last my whole shift 😊 once I got home I didn't feel any better so I started engaging in destructive behaviors but managed to stop myself and eat a packet of crisps (if you've ever spewed up crisps you'll know why I done this) but at this point I was struggling to keep my eyes open after taking my prn at 2pm, so managed to sleep and woke up feeling slightly better.

    Don't know why I'm writing this, just needed to get it out. I need to keep reminding myself that recovery isn't linear, I will have bad days. But feeling more positive now. Dad had his op today and it went well, even if his leg is practically metal now 🙈 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I feel so hopeless :'(
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    So anxious. Applying for a new job and I know I won't get it but I'm gonna try
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    Things are so shit :( 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Sending big hugs to all of you. If anyone needs anything I'm always here <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Literally can feel im Getting so many heart palpuations and feels proper weird. I feel like i actually could be dying. Theyre proper big aswel
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    right time to battle the crowds in town and primark 🙃
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Work was actually okay and wasnt too busy than you would think it would be for weekend before christmas. But now i feel just annoyed
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Sending hugs to everyone who needs them :heart:


    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm having too much trouble seeing life getting better. I really want to just kill myself. All I see for the future is loneliness, sadness, difficulty, everything being empty of appeal. I don't want to live that life and the thought of doing so is unbearable. I want to end all of this, I'm suffocating. 

    (I'm safe) 
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Hate lieing to this guy who's really amazing and supportive to everyone, I'm lieing to him because he had a crush on his best friend and that best friend told me not tell him thst he was already with another guy and I just had to lie straight up to him and I feel terrible but I know it's best for the both of them 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Really bad period pains and can barely keep still. Just like constantly moving while laying down in some way to make it stop but aint working so dunno why do it lol. Just hurts so much. So dont think ill be going sleep anytime soon. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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