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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    All this college work is seriously getting ontop of me now , I’m sat in tears again about this all . It’s just all too much for me to cope with but I don’t know what to do 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Well that's me back to zero days clean and back in hospital 😭😭 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2019
    I just feel sooobad & having so many thoughts of killing myself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    And back to work I go, was hoping to be signed off because its destroying my mental health
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Sat sobbing about the day ahead. I can't keep doing this..
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Now the levels are too high, this is what I get when the switchboard won't put me through to the on call cardiologist 🙄🙄

    Tiles fell off the wall in the bathroom last night and scared the cr** out of me, cant have a shower today then 😕

    Great start to the day and it's only 6:30
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    edited September 2019
    Today is not the day. I’m so so anxious about this job thing it’s 4 hours long and I thought it would be shorter that’s a really long time in a new environment 😫😫 I’m so scared and I can’t even get out of it I didn’t even want a job I’m no where near in a good frame of mind for a job arrrrrgggh. I can’t handle it I just want to cry and hide but I can’t not go and there aren’t any excuses to make 😭 my mums being pressuring to get a job and now I have a few shifts it’s making my MH so much worse than it already is and has been this past week ☹️ Don’t know how much more I can take. My self harm urges are through the roof 😫 I knew I couldn’t handle a job but people kept saying get on it’ll help but it really doesn’t feel like it will it really really doesn’t 😭😭😭
    Post edited by Butterfly23 on
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    To add to my anxiety the river is very high and ready to overflow...can't be dealing with another flood 😭
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Minecraft is the only thing that's keeping me from going insane at college, literally nothing to do 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Fucking had enough. I can't cope much longer. I can't do this at all anymore. Nobody cares and I just feel like I don't matter and I need to do something extreme to be cared for. Is my relapse not an issue? Does my relapse in mental illness mean fuck all? I am trying to reach out for support and just feel neglected
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Would anyone be bothered if I died? Probably not
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    GreenTea said:
    Would anyone be bothered if I died? Probably not
    I would be bothered, a forking lot love
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,795 Master Poster
     :'(:(
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    The thames has bursted it banks, always happens because they priority is to stop London from bursting its banks so they shut all the weirs alone the thames, probably the same with other places 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited September 2019
    Getting fed up with being talked to and treated like utter shit. I wish I could take a break from work and it all was acknowledged and not swept under the rug. I'm human to, I shouldn't be treated like shit because I'm lower down the pay scale
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2019
    This is gunna sound proper messed up but you know that thing that i say im too embarrassed to see a doctor about. I dont know if im hallucinating or imaging it from like some extreme anxiety and parania, or if it actually happens:/// wouldnt my family comment on it by now. (I do try my best to hide it) Or they secretly know but too nice to not say
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I don't want to go to sleep because I'm dreading waking up :( I want to lie in nothingness forever. It's not fair, it's my life so just let me go.

    I don't think you even know how much it hurts. I really don't know how to fight this or if I want to. 
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Parents had the heating on in the night, so headaches every morning now until it warms up and I'm back stuck waking up at 4am and not being able to get back to sleep 😔😔
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Well I wasn't awake this morning.. sprayed perfume straight into my face. 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited October 2019
    Cant even afford sanitary pads. But cant get a job when this thing is worse and no sign of getting better. So thats it. 
    What shit life is this

    Someone tell me why i havent killed myself yet cause i really dont know
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    It angers me when people just take take take and never give. It's so selfish
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    I feel so shittt
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Worst night I've had in a while...
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Starting to feel like I don't matter and nobody wants to acknowledge me. 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Feel like whole world is against me right now. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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