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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Trauma nightmares are the worst 🙃 no wonder I never sleep...
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Bit sad
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    I feel so shit this morning, I have this cramping pain in my stomach and I feel like I'm gonna throw up and static objects like windows and door and walls keep moving, I felt so scared this morning

    When I went onto my exam I had an axiety attack during the exam and felt like someone was strangling throughout the whole exam,

    And now I'm super tired 😴 😴 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I don't even have any words lol.
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    I'm so tired and stress about tommorow exam, I've already got stomach pain and it not even the day of the exam yet 😢😢
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    I am so tired. Tempting to buy a red bull for training tomorrow.  But Dont know if I would look weird or  

    Dont want it to be obvs how tired I am but really want red bull
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,788 Master Poster
    😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭😢  💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤💔❤
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     So sorry for all of the emojis but I will explain why they are there in a minute. Today it is 3 years since my uncle died. I cannot cope with the thought of that. I loved my uncle so much and I miss him so much. Just because he is dead doesn't mean that I don't love him anymore. And I am supposed to go to school and cover my grieving with a smile and normality. How on earth is that supposed to happen? It won't. I don't want today to happen. If someone could skip today that would be appreciated so much. I would be so much happier if I could just skip today. I love my uncle so much and I miss him so much as well. I wish his body did not have to just suddenly quit working. I hope he is remembering me and having fun riding motorbikes in heaven. I didn't want him to die but everyone dies eventually.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    Attucally quite sad  to leave placement today , going to miss some of the children I’ve worked quite closely with 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Well that exam went well, I just want to cry all day but I've still got college until 1600, I spent an 45 minutes on an table for question one and I missed out two question worth 20 Marks I'm probably gonna just cry all day at college now, f*** BTECs 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Feeling bit bad.  Training could of gone better but don't feel talkative today and not any energy left to of taken part as much as I could of and can't be bothered to explain that anymore Dont know. Feel bit down but i don’t know if that's cause I didn't speak much or I didn't speak much because I'm feeling low
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit

    I dont want to die but it is really bad that i do keep wishing i could attempt suicide so i can get that attention and care and to be noticed. No one cares now. 

    And im sorry if thats too honest and youre judging me. But there is a reason to why we think and feel the way we do. And im clearly still sad and lonely. Eventho i kno some will think otherwise.

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I planned to stay away for longer. But I'm back to vent.

    Yesterday and today, I've felt physically unwell. Yesterday, I woke feeling very dizzy. And it was accompanied by what felt like heart/chest pain, so that hasn't helped my paranoia... And then I felt very sick for a while. Then throughout the day, I just had a headache and was tired. Today, I woke up feeling dizzy again, and today I've felt a little sick, also still tired and headachy.

    Also, yesterday night, I had a horrible dream about Ruby.

    My vocal cords hurt a lot, as usual, so I'm trying not to speak much. But not being able to communicate properly gets lonely. It gets me down so much. I love singing. And I've probably fucked up my own future by being too enthusiastic lol ('cause I've evidently strained/damaged my cords by not being careful enough when singing). I want the pain to go away.

    One of my teeth has gone sensitive to the cold. That occasionally just happens, but it still sucks. And my mom just nagged me about how I must have a decay. Well yeah, I need to see a dentist soon really, but I have more urgent concerns atm.

    I'm feeling mentally crap and am struggling a lot, as always.

    Basically... Wow :-( What a lot of anguish.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Oh shit lol. I got my account from elefriends again and someone from my training messaged me on it.!!! This is sooo awkward. She is really nice. I just do not make my accounts annoymous enough 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    So stressed my Kooth person had messaged earlier to say she’s not in today becuase she’s ill which means I haven’t got her tonight and things happened that I really needed to talk to her about 😩
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,788 Master Poster
    I feel scared. I got off the bus with my brother in law. A girl who used to go to my school and bullied me was standing outside her house which was right by the bus stop. Last time we saw each other she threatened to beat me up so I feel unsafe being even across the road from her. I told my brother in law that we needed to get away and fast. So we did. Then the girl and her friend started chasing us down the road and across a road. She freaks me out. I feel scared to go to that bus stop or walk home ever again.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Help :-( Send hugs lol.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Sad and doubtful and stressed.

    I just don't want things to be like this anymore. I really really don't.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Please help.

    Idek what I mean by that and there isn't help anyway :-(
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'll probably cry myself to sleep ahah. And kill myself.

    Except that's not serious. I promise I won't kill myself. I'm just expressing the pain I feel.

    I don't know how I got here. But there's so much struggling and misery. Constantly. Every single day. My days are wasting away on it. I'm nearly 14 and a half, and I feel I've gotten nowhere in any way. How I can I even live with myself. I can't live in my skin, I can't live with how I feel, and nothing seems to fit. I don't even know. I just want things to be okay somehow. But I'm trying to fight and it just feels there's no way out/forward.

    It feels like I'm actually ill.
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    tkdogtkdog Posts: 281 The Mix Regular
    Oof I went on a forum asking for advice on a particular issue. But because I used the word lame and apparently I was judgemental someone decided and to twist my words to say I was treating people inhuman. Just because I was talking about how I didn't like the way I was being treated by someone. 
    So i come feeling worse although some of the advice was useful to me. It sucks cos I was sharing my personal problems and was asking for advice. I don't see what is wrong in finding certain things lame, was not passing judgement. I think people should be nice in listening to others problems rather than to say stuff like that. :/
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    My vocal cords hurt like hell. And I woke up dizzy again so now I'm scared I'm dying lol. 

    And my brain continues to torture me. 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    I really hate myself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Shaunie said:
    I really hate myself
    Kill self fucking assehole. Anxious prick gettig no where compared to everyone else could die within seconds and never feel pain again
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Death sounds so much better than living. With the grantee to never feel sad again. Selling it to myself. Wondering why im choosing to carry on. I dont actually know
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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