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The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
    Omg i feel awful. I feel too anxious to meet my friend and if this is going to be my life and how i cope with things id rather be dead. Never going to get better life
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    I will never get a better life. Never will have friends or end up with my own family. I will never have a beter job and will never feel better. 

    I really wish i was dead & i really want to know what happens if i was to kill myself
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    Well am meeting my friend at 11. Know sounds smal big thing for me. Wish me luck that dont get panic attack and die tho would be good. 
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07
    Flag ·
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,535 Mega Poster
    Still cant help but think it was all my fault :(
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07Laine
    Flag ·
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,920 Postholic
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    I woke up. That's very problematic.
    Laine
    Flag ·
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,920 Postholic
    UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH DHFJJGRBT FHBVJBVJ RGOHGUHGPHD PFGHDPUAHUFHEIFHRIUHRIUGVBHIFUBVDFIBVDFFBRJBVJFN HGBFN GHYBN HRBGV NC FBCVNB  FRUFHERIUDSZFNOSRGNOUEGIUEHSGUO

    SCRREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM AAAAAAAAAAAAH UUUUUUUUUUUUGH ZSFIUDHSFURHG9USHFIUVBNCXIUVHS9F89FR8HEPRI394309EWIODJEJDIUJDJDIFFGIUF9IFIDJDDJCIJCIUDDJX

    SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

    HELP. I CAN'T COPE. TAKE THIS AWAY. PLEASE. I CAN'T EVEN ACCOMPLISH BASIC AND IMPORTANT THINGS BECAUSE OF ALL THIS MENTAL FUCKING TORTURE. I FEEL SO STRESSED AND WORRIED AND COMPLETELY STUCK AND SO SO SAD AND HOPELESS AND UNLOVABLE AND ALL SORTS. I JUST WANT TO STOP THINKING. IDK HOW TO GET THROUGH ANOTHER DAY. THANKS FOR LISTENING.
    Millie2787Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
    Had great day with friend.  til get reminder of how shit i am. Is my own fault. Hate myself. 
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Laine
    Flag ·
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,150 Ultimate Poster
    Got sent home from work cause I was too unstable 🙃🙃🙃
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    Kathleen07Millie2787Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    I really hate myself reAlly need help. 
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,920 Postholic
    Shaunie said:
    I really hate myself reAlly need help. 
    I'm so sorry you hate yourself bud. I like you and think many other people do:) And I know hating yourself is really hard:( Hugs x
    ShaunieLaine
    Flag ·
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,535 Mega Poster
    Of course when it’s time to settle especially when I have to be out the house st quater to 7 is when I decide it’s to blame myself for Albie and nan ☹️
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    May trigger

    Seriously having thoughts of suicide and feeling like it may be the only way out for a lot of my problems that are affecting me every second. Though i am safe right now and i dont have specific plan to die. But my thoughts are far from safe and really dont think this will end well.


    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,535 Mega Poster
    OMG this hotel and area is really dodgy 😥
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103
    Flag ·
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,535 Mega Poster
    Im I’m so much pain and paracetamol isn’t helping and people in London arses who just barge into left right and centre which isn’t very helpful 
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    Everybody is judging me 
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
    I had work today. Work was shit as per, i spilt my powder foundation all over my table, i missed my bus to work, teddy was sick on the carpet again, i still have shits lol but feel bit better now, im cold, tired, my head hurts and so does the right side of my ribs, my wisdom teeth hurt and my support is going and i have no food

    I mean today is shit like the rest. Theres no reason for me to be alive
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    The world is going against me. I am sure. 

    My head tells me no one likes and no one wants me alive and everyone pretends they do but they find it really hard to say the opposite of what their head is saying
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    I do know and get the sense of when i have out stayed my welcome. So i am going to leave the site. I apprecate all the help though but i only ever make life shit
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Laine
    Flag ·
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,920 Postholic
    Shaunie said:
    I do know and get the sense of when i have out stayed my welcome. So i am going to leave the site. I apprecate all the help though but i only ever make life shit
    Oh @Shaunie <3 I won't tell you not to think that way, 'cause it doesn't often work like that. But please don't leave purely because you think we don't want you here or anything - 'cause we really do. And I'll miss you a lot x

    But it's your call, and it's okay if you want to leave. Take care either way.

    Hugs <3
    Laine
    Flag ·
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,920 Postholic
    I was just thinking about the past and now I'm worked up about things. It's helped to trigger feelings of sadness and being unlovable. And I feel kind of defensive.

    And all this mental pain has gone beyond just interfering with my life lol... I'm just really energy-less and sad and feel stuck and upset. Whatever I guess. I just... feel so awful. Just constantly either fighting against it, or drowning in it. I feel so confused and in distress and suffocated.
    Millie2787Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
    When i was at work - first thing people said to me is - " how is your sister getting on with her new job" (my sister also worked in primark but now care assisstant) So i was just thinking - great everyone asking how my sister is doing BEFORE they ask how i am. - But then guess what. It was not even before because no one ever asked how i was. 
    No one gives a fuck. Rudeeee fml. Gosh dont start convos like that. Just care about my sister
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    My family said "you know - everytime you go out will do worry if you will make it back home"
    (becausw sometimes ive tried to kill myself have been when i just randomly go out and then police come to the house& stuff)

    well i know solution to that is i kill myself and then will never have to worry again. sorry i am such a massive burden and you do not want to clean the house thinking the police coming round. 

    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
    Shaunie said:
    I do know and get the sense of when i have out stayed my welcome. So i am going to leave the site. I apprecate all the help though but i only ever make life shit
    Sorry to disappoint. But i am such an attention seeker & lonely so guess i wont. And well tbh i probably knew that in back on my mind when writing it - just seeking attention.
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,535 Mega Poster
    I’m so tired of this pain , it’s draining the hell out of me. Hoping to god going back to see the nurse today she can give me something stronger or give me a idea of what’s going on :( 
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,535 Mega Poster
    edited April 2019
    I’m so tired and ughhh everything’s going wrong 
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kasa2103Kathleen07Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
    I know i am saying this everyday of how unwell i feel phsyically and mentally but omg i feel so achy. My body just does not want to rest. like really agitated like keep needing to stretch my body but i have no energy to and even if do - it makes no difference. It jsut even feel so much effort to hold my phone. And omg at one point today i thought i was going to pass out and die
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 7,606 Boards Champion
    Aw this is sooo sooo sad.

    Probably already said loads of times - my sister has a new job as a care assisstant. We are twins so shes same age as me 20 - the people she works with are like in 40s and they are all very bitchy and negative people. And my sister aways comes home saying about it. I just spoke to my sister in her break and she has been crying all morning 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔Theyre obviously jelous of a pretty young girl cause they are soooo horrible to her. And my sister is so nice. So sadd. My sister is more mature than them. And it takes a lot to still go to work with a load of bitchy people. They all keep saying they dont want to work with her and she just started crying and they always tell her what to do and what she hasnt done but in a very horrible tone :(((((no idea why they wouldnt want to work with her
     sooo sooo rudeee. Wouldnt beleiev a care home is 10 times more bitchy than primark. Fml they need to grow up
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07AidanKasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,535 Mega Poster
    everything is my fault , they would still be alive if it wasn’t for me 
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,535 Mega Poster
    Feel so terrible best way to put it - Hi I’m Aimee I’m a mess and I’m going to ruin your life 😭
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Kathleen07Kasa2103Laine
    Flag ·
  • LaineLaine Llama Mama Posts: 1,469 Fanatical Poster
    Sending hugs everyone 💕

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?" ~ Bastille
    Kathleen07
    Flag ·
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