The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

Shaunie

Omg i feel awful. I feel too anxious to meet my friend and if this is going to be my life and how i cope with things id rather be dead. Never going to get better life

Shaunie

I will never get a better life. Never will have friends or end up with my own family. I will never have a beter job and will never feel better. 

I really wish i was dead & i really want to know what happens if i was to kill myself

Shaunie

Well am meeting my friend at 11. Know sounds smal big thing for me. Wish me luck that dont get panic attack and die tho would be good. 

Millie2787

Still cant help but think it was all my fault

Kathleen07

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I woke up. That's very problematic.

Kathleen07

UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH DHFJJGRBT FHBVJBVJ RGOHGUHGPHD PFGHDPUAHUFHEIFHRIUHRIUGVBHIFUBVDFIBVDFFBRJBVJFN HGBFN GHYBN HRBGV NC FBCVNB  FRUFHERIUDSZFNOSRGNOUEGIUEHSGUO

SCRREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM AAAAAAAAAAAAH UUUUUUUUUUUUGH ZSFIUDHSFURHG9USHFIUVBNCXIUVHS9F89FR8HEPRI394309EWIODJEJDIUJDJDIFFGIUF9IFIDJDDJCIJCIUDDJX

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

HELP. I CAN'T COPE. TAKE THIS AWAY. PLEASE. I CAN'T EVEN ACCOMPLISH BASIC AND IMPORTANT THINGS BECAUSE OF ALL THIS MENTAL FUCKING TORTURE. I FEEL SO STRESSED AND WORRIED AND COMPLETELY STUCK AND SO SO SAD AND HOPELESS AND UNLOVABLE AND ALL SORTS. I JUST WANT TO STOP THINKING. IDK HOW TO GET THROUGH ANOTHER DAY. THANKS FOR LISTENING.

Shaunie

Had great day with friend.  til get reminder of how shit i am. Is my own fault. Hate myself. 

BubblesGoesBoo

Got sent home from work cause I was too unstable 🙃🙃🙃

Shaunie

I really hate myself reAlly need help. 

Kathleen07

Shaunie said:

I really hate myself reAlly need help. 

I'm so sorry you hate yourself bud. I like you and think many other people do:) And I know hating yourself is really hard:( Hugs x

Millie2787

Of course when it’s time to settle especially when I have to be out the house st quater to 7 is when I decide it’s to blame myself for Albie and nan ☹️

Shaunie

May trigger

Seriously having thoughts of suicide and feeling like it may be the only way out for a lot of my problems that are affecting me every second. Though i am safe right now and i dont have specific plan to die. But my thoughts are far from safe and really dont think this will end well.

Millie2787

OMG this hotel and area is really dodgy 😥

Millie2787

Im I’m so much pain and paracetamol isn’t helping and people in London arses who just barge into left right and centre which isn’t very helpful 

Shaunie

Everybody is judging me 

Shaunie

I had work today. Work was shit as per, i spilt my powder foundation all over my table, i missed my bus to work, teddy was sick on the carpet again, i still have shits lol but feel bit better now, im cold, tired, my head hurts and so does the right side of my ribs, my wisdom teeth hurt and my support is going and i have no food

I mean today is shit like the rest. Theres no reason for me to be alive

Shaunie

The world is going against me. I am sure. 

My head tells me no one likes and no one wants me alive and everyone pretends they do but they find it really hard to say the opposite of what their head is saying

Shaunie

I do know and get the sense of when i have out stayed my welcome. So i am going to leave the site. I apprecate all the help though but i only ever make life shit

Kathleen07

Shaunie said:

I do know and get the sense of when i have out stayed my welcome. So i am going to leave the site. I apprecate all the help though but i only ever make life shit

Oh @Shaunie I won't tell you not to think that way, 'cause it doesn't often work like that. But please don't leave purely because you think we don't want you here or anything - 'cause we really do. And I'll miss you a lot x

But it's your call, and it's okay if you want to leave. Take care either way.

Hugs

Kathleen07

I was just thinking about the past and now I'm worked up about things. It's helped to trigger feelings of sadness and being unlovable. And I feel kind of defensive.

And all this mental pain has gone beyond just interfering with my life lol... I'm just really energy-less and sad and feel stuck and upset. Whatever I guess. I just... feel so awful. Just constantly either fighting against it, or drowning in it. I feel so confused and in distress and suffocated.

Shaunie

When i was at work - first thing people said to me is - " how is your sister getting on with her new job" (my sister also worked in primark but now care assisstant) So i was just thinking - great everyone asking how my sister is doing BEFORE they ask how i am. - But then guess what. It was not even before because no one ever asked how i was. 
No one gives a fuck. Rudeeee fml. Gosh dont start convos like that. Just care about my sister

Shaunie

My family said "you know - everytime you go out will do worry if you will make it back home"
(becausw sometimes ive tried to kill myself have been when i just randomly go out and then police come to the house& stuff)

well i know solution to that is i kill myself and then will never have to worry again. sorry i am such a massive burden and you do not want to clean the house thinking the police coming round. 

Shaunie

Shaunie said:

I do know and get the sense of when i have out stayed my welcome. So i am going to leave the site. I apprecate all the help though but i only ever make life shit

Sorry to disappoint. But i am such an attention seeker & lonely so guess i wont. And well tbh i probably knew that in back on my mind when writing it - just seeking attention.

Millie2787

I’m so tired of this pain , it’s draining the hell out of me. Hoping to god going back to see the nurse today she can give me something stronger or give me a idea of what’s going on  

Millie2787

I’m so tired and ughhh everything’s going wrong 

Shaunie

I know i am saying this everyday of how unwell i feel phsyically and mentally but omg i feel so achy. My body just does not want to rest. like really agitated like keep needing to stretch my body but i have no energy to and even if do - it makes no difference. It jsut even feel so much effort to hold my phone. And omg at one point today i thought i was going to pass out and die

Shaunie

Aw this is sooo sooo sad.

Probably already said loads of times - my sister has a new job as a care assisstant. We are twins so shes same age as me 20 - the people she works with are like in 40s and they are all very bitchy and negative people. And my sister aways comes home saying about it. I just spoke to my sister in her break and she has been crying all morning 😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔Theyre obviously jelous of a pretty young girl cause they are soooo horrible to her. And my sister is so nice. So sadd. My sister is more mature than them. And it takes a lot to still go to work with a load of bitchy people. They all keep saying they dont want to work with her and she just started crying and they always tell her what to do and what she hasnt done but in a very horrible tone ((((no idea why they wouldnt want to work with her
 sooo sooo rudeee. Wouldnt beleiev a care home is 10 times more bitchy than primark. Fml they need to grow up

Millie2787

everything is my fault , they would still be alive if it wasn’t for me 

Millie2787

Feel so terrible best way to put it - Hi I’m Aimee I’m a mess and I’m going to ruin your life 😭

Laine

Sending hugs everyone 💕